I know, I know. You all told me so. Everyone said that my ex was not worth giving it another shot. I posted a rant in here a month or so ago about how I was mistreated and I was in love, and everyone told me to give up on her. I should have listened. But I didn’t, and now I hurt twice as bad as I did before.
Did anyone read my Thrunk on Danksgiving post? Well apparently that was an even worse idea than it originally seemed. Apparently I talked to her on AOL that night and said something stupid that made her hate me even more than she did previously. Way to go, Me!
But I love her, and even though she treated me like shit and I treated her like a princess, I will always have a special place in my heart for her and I will never hate her.
But it hurts so much. My heart is broken beyond repair, and I know that I can’t be in love again unless I can love myself; I find that increasingly harder to do when I realize that things were going great, she was coming around and getting back to being the person I fell in love with, but I fucked it up the same way I usually do.
The past is the past, and I should deal with it. But I can’t. So I will sit forever with a broken heart until another innocent person comes along so I can ruin their life and make them hate me, too.
I’m an idiot, I’m an asshole, I’m fucking USELESS, and nobody will ever be able to convince me otherwise. So please, if I ever come across any of you in real life, just kill me, because I don’t even have the will to do that on my own. It would be a favor for humanity to not have me around to fuck up people’s lives, anyway.
MAKE THE PAIN STOP. PLEASE. SOMEONE. ANYONE.
I hate me.
-Syko