I need a new IRL social activity. Not sure what to do.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I find I have grown tired of my usual social recreational activity.

My favorite social activity had been to go out to my favorite bar on Tuesday nights. They have live electronic interactive trivia, where you can compete against everyone else in the bar who is playing. NTN Trivia Tuesdays are the night for the high-competition game. They also used to have karaoke on Tuesday nights, but they dropped that a couple of months ago. I never sang, but I enjoyed listening. (FTR: I seldom drink, so going to a different bar seems less-than-ideal.)

To make a long story short, I don’t enjoy playing the game much anymore because 80% of the fun, was interacting with the other regulars and newbies. Overall turnout has plummeted. The bar is dead, regardless what day of the week it is. There are a lot of reasons why turnout has dropped, but that’s another issue. We used to have over 20 players. Now we are lucky if we get close to ten. Only 4 or 5 of the regulars show up, nowadays. I enjoy the acquaintanceships that I have developed with the other regulars, however, these relationships have gone stale.

So, now I am at a loss for a social outlet activity. I have been doing the above for over 6 years. [Dr. Phil] “How’s that workin’ for ya?”[/Dr.Phil]It’s not working anymore. It’s not fun anymore. I’m not meeting new people anymore. Nothing changes. Nothing grows.

I have no idea what to do. I have looked into a lot of possibilities that correspond to my present personal interests. Unfortunately, there’s not a lot out there, locally, that connects to my interests.

I may have to try something new, that I have completely no interest in, and try to learn to like it. Would this be a good idea?

When I have tried new things, it’s always been something I had a degree of interest in. My interests are:
[ul]
[li]movies[/li][li]reading[/li][li]writing[/li][li]art[/li][li]games: board, card, video, trivia[/li][li]puzzles: jigsaw, crosswords[/li][/ul]

What I am looking for:
[ul]
[li]a socially-oriented recreational activity[/li][li]meets at least once a week[/li][li]is low-cost or no-cost[/li][li]takes place between 6:00pm and midnight, redgardless of day of the week[/li][/ul]

Note: I have no interest in watching or playing any sports, whatsoever. (This could be one of the things I’d have to try to learn to like.)

I have been, or currently am involved in, a few activities, e.g. church groups, Neighborhood Watch, etc. Those are things that meet once a month and they are not designed for what I am seeking.

Anybody have any thoughts, ideas, etc? Help :confused:

2

At my bar (which has NTN by the way,) they have Texas Hold Em poker tournaments. Maybe you could look into that type of card game - or some other kind of poker? They seem to have a good time. I have no idea how much it costs, though. Pool leagues, dart leagues, shuffleboard leagues…

3

If you’re anywhere near a college, you can see if they have a games club. Ours is open to the local community, not just students, and we play a bit of everything: Bridge, Mah Jongg (the 4-player kind, not the computer solitaire kind), railroad-themed board games, Settlers of Catan and its ilk, plus the usual collectible card games (e.g. Magic), role-playing games and war games.

If you have a gaming store around (one that sells miniatures for war games and role-playing books and stuff) they might also have a board game night, or they might be able to put you in touch with a group that meets weekly.

Good luck! It can be tough to find new people to hang out with!

4

What about joining a dart league? Similiar to your trivia game, they tend to meet in local bars. You meet a mix of people, male, female, older, younger, etc. And it’s fun!

5

Consider Toastmasters, www.toastmasters.org Many clubs meet weekly and cost is about $30-40 for 6 months. Yeah, you will also learn something about public speaking, but it is also fun and you get to know people beyond a superficial level, because everyone gives speeches about things that interest them.

6

It’s been reccomended and linked to before but http://www.meetup.com/ seems like a pretty good step. They have many interests and groups that meet IRL, might be a good way to meet some new people and find something that interests you.

7

Book clubs are great, but usually happen on a monthly schedule.

8

Audition for a play at your local community theater! Heck, just go down and volunteer to run sound or lights and get into theater that way.

Or is that too much work? Then go watch some local theater!

9

How about The National Puzzlers’ League?

10

I have a niece who, much like you, needed an outlet. She loves animals and looked into opportunities at the local zoo. They happen to have a volunteer program and she signed up for it. She seems to really like it from what I’ve heard and is being trained as a knowledgeable guide. Not only is she doing something she enjoys but she is learning a great deal with the added bonus of her son being able to attend special behind the scenes classes and programs (He loves it too…he’s a huge reptile and bug guy!). Maybe you might be interested in something similar.

11

Have you tried Sacred Harp?

http://fasola.org/

Scroll down to where it says “Local Singings.” You don’t list your location, so I don’t know if there’s a group in your area.

I don’t think local groups usually meet weekly. The one I sing with meets two to three times a month, and I think most others meet monthly but I’m not certain. But pair that up with a monthly book club, and maybe another couple of clubs that meet monthly, and you’ve got a weekly thing going and variety to boot.

Now, you’re probably saying to yourself, “That’s crazy, I can’t sing.” Doesn’t matter. The cool thing about SH (aside from the music, which is really neat) is the no audition/no performances thing. People get together and just sing, because it’s fun to sing. Because they like to sing. Not because they have golden vocal cords or are great musicians or anything.

12

[ul]
[li]movies - there should be movie clubs that work like book clubs. Trying to keep up with the reading schedule has kept me out of book clubs. Movies wouldn’t require any prep and there are lots of people who like movies.[/li][li]writing - this is kind of a solitary activity though there are writer’s guilds. I think they’re mostly for serious writers, though.[/li][li]art - I don’t know where you live but there are shows at least once a week here in Denver that are free (they want you to buy art, duh). I’m guessing the other people are going to be a different crowd than you were used to on trivia night at the bar, though.[/li][li]games: board, card, video, trivia - somebody else mentioned hobby stores that sell role-playing games.[/li][li]puzzles: jigsaw, crosswords - again, kinda solitary.[/li][li]bowling - it’s an activity, though not really a sport.[/li][/ul]

13

Wow. There’s lots of interesting feedback here. I’m not really sure where to begin responding.

So far, I’d have to say the most appealing suggestions offered have been:
[ul]
[li]#1. bowling[/li][li]#2. billiards[/li][li]#3. darts[/li][/ul]

I have pondered the above possibilities, before. The primary problems I forsee with any of the above are:
(a) finding a way to get “into” a total group of strangers. How do I pull that off? I obviously don’t have a “network” where I can say so-and-so sent me. They don’t put ads up in the paper, “bowler/pool-shark/dart-thrower needed.” It seems a bit awkward (if not mildly disturbing) for all involved, if I would just randomly “show-up.” Is this a reasonable assessement?
(b) cost - Bowling is a bit pricey.

I really appreciate all of the suggestions. I’m weighing the facts, pros, and cons, as they apply to every scenario. If I don’t utilize your suggestion, please do not take it personally.

Several have mentioned book clubs. There are a few that I am aware of. I’ve seen them in progress at local libraries and bookstores. The only problem with this is, AFAIK, most of these are usually comprised of lil old ladies. I don’t have a problem with old folks, but I’m trying to find & connect with peers.

Some of you may be thinking: “What about friends from work?” Well, that’s another problem. I am a self-employed artist. (and a "starving artist, at that)

As far as volunteering is concerned, I already am involved in being the block leader for my local neighborhood watch. I have gotten to know a lot of my neighbors this way. That is more business than pleasure, though.

Singing? Haha… no way man. I couldn’t do karaoke, or the like, if my life depended on it. I embarass myself even when I am alone!

I have no doubts that my locale is an undetermined percentage of the problem. I was just talking to some of my online chat friends recently, about how things in my area have changed over the past few years. I don’t understand what the cause is, but we have lost a lot of things, locally, that I used to enjoy doing or attending, such as:
[ul]
[li]live music in bookstores / cafes / restaurants / libraries[/li][li]board game nights in bookstores / cafes e.g. Scrabble, Chess, Monopoly (The chess club still meets, but I don’t know anything about chess.)[/li][li]open mic nights in bookstores / cafes[/li][li]city festivals, free public concerts, etc[/li][/ul]

My local libraries offer lots of activities, but they are heavily geared towards families, children, and women, instead of anyone in general.

If you couldn’t tell already, I’ll admit that I am quite shy. However, I do force myself out of my comfort zone. If I hadn’t made the first move, there would be no neighborhood watch for my block, we’d still have a drug house here, and the neighbors wouldn’t care. It’s hard to step out of my comfort zone, but I can do it, and have done it, in more ways than this. I have the will, but the way is what is most problematic for me right now.

Please keep the ideas rolling!

14

Per your suggestion, I searched Meetup. I only found 10 groups within my immediate area and none were of any interest. :eek: :frowning: Meetup Search Results

Thanks anyway!

15

There are bowling and dart leagues out there, of all different levels. You don’t have to find a way “into” them - go to a local bowling alley or dart bar and chances are there will be signs posted about the leagues. I’ve seen a lot of “open nights” where beginners/newcomers are welcome to come try it out. Just do a little checking around.

If you live in a decent sized city, you could also look in the phone book under “bowling supplies” or “dart supplies” and find the local store. Give them a call and ask about beginner leagues.

As far as the cost - can’t help you out there. I do seem to remember that some bowling alleys offer discounts for league play, though.