I need a thesis paper - HELP!

Factual Questions
1

I’m taking Freshman English right now at the local Community College, only because I have to in order get into the creative writing class. I’ve never been good with essays and things like that, and this class is torture for me.

We have to turn in a thesis type paper at the end of the class and I was wondering if there’s somewhere where I can find papers like this all ready typed up, or have someone write it for me. I’m willing to pay for it.

She wants 5-7 pages, with 5 references. I’d rather have a couple of teeth pulled!

Any info would be appreciated.

Thanks,
A Girl

2

If you feel like this about having to produce a 5-7 page paper for Freshman English, are you sure that Creative Writing is the right course for you?

3

When did SD become the homework help line?

Sometimes you feel like a coconut, sometime you feel like a yak.

4

Yep. I can sit and write what pours out of my brain, but the minute I have to come up with facts and figures and sit and be forced to come up with something, the whole system just about locks up!

5

Why are you interested in creative writing, if this sort of thing is worse than getting teeth pulled?

There may well be sources on the web for ready-made plaigarizing, but I’m not aware of any specifics…

  • Rick
6

Creative writing is easy! Writing about fantasy or things from my head is easy for me.

Writing a thesis is torture. Writing about some boring topic and then having to prove whatever it is, that’s the stuff I can’t stand.

A girl

7

Hey, have some sympathy for Gen Y. They’ve been raised on television, not the written word.

Girl, there’s a good source of ready made essays on the 'net that will suit your particular needs and style just fine. Try www.myboot.com/essays.html

Good luck. Hope you get an “A”.

8

Plagiary is a slippery slope. Doing it well is often as difficult as just writing the damn thing yourself. As a teacher, I become quite attuned to the writing styles of my students. A plagiarized assignment sticks out like a sore thumb.

My advice is to save such drastic measures for a bigger emergency than a 5-6 page research paper (don’t let the fancy term thesis scare you). You admit that the only reason you’re taking the class is to prepare you for a writing class. If you cheat to pass this class, you won’t be prepared for the next. If you’re just going to plagerize your way through school you might as well just forge a diploma and have done with it.

9

It looks to me like you may have a good subject right there – how it sometimes difficult (even tortuous)for creative people to to limited to the bounds of what is already out there, reality, etc. Just an idea.

10

All depends upon your bent. I grew up in a household where Daddy was a newspaperman, and Mommy was a teacher. Writing was kinda a big deal for us. I passed out of Penn State’s Freshman Comp. class on the strength of my essay, " Nuclear Power is the Energy of the Future". LOL- I wrote this two years AFTER T.M.I.

They gave me three credits,and put me in Honors English, which was REALLY FUN !!

 Cartooniverse

If you want to kiss the sky, you’d better learn how to kneel.

11

I am disappointed that A Girl wishes to sell her integrity for a 5-7 page paper. I am appalled that Nurlman would assist her in this. I find myself being drug inexorably toward the PIT.

The best lack all conviction
The worst are full of passionate intensity.
*

12

Nerlman, I don’t own a TV. They are brain-suckers. Now, if I could just tear myself away from computer!! :slight_smile: But thanks for the link.

I’m not worried about getting a degree or something, I just wanted to take a creative writing class, one class, for FUN. It’s turned into a huge ordeal! Thesis this and that, references, opening and closing statements, topic, etc. :confused: :eek:

I can write stories, and like to do so. But I have great difficulty writing “papers.” I guess my big fear is that I’ll write it, fail, and have to take this dreaded class over, never get into a CREATIVE writing class, instead of all this research paper stuff.

I’m not an evil monster, guys, really!
:slight_smile:
A girl

13

Do you have any constraints on the topic?

If not, one way to make things less painful is to think of something you always wanted to know more about anyway, and write about that. No need to torture yourself unnecesarily by writing about the reasons for Napoleon’s defeat at Waterloo, say, if that’s not what grabs you. You’ll find that 5-7 pages isn’t too bad (particularly if you need to type double-spaced), and you’ll enjoy the exercise a lot more.

Silly example topic: “The Monkees Legacy: Manufactured Boy Bands 1965-2000.”
References: 1 or 2 rock history and pop culture books; at least 1 source each for the Monkees, Menudo, New Edition, New Kids on the Block, 'Nsync, Back Street Boys. Extra points if you can get your hands on some pithy article in Rolling Stone or some such mag.

Not too hard, eh? OK, the example topic above may not thrill your instructor, but as long as you can demonstrate that you spent an adequate amount of time thinking about your topic and researching it appropriately (i.e., not just regurgitating what someone else said), you’ll probably do fine.

14

I don’t think Nurlman gave a girl any help by suggesting that link. I will paste out a story and put it here.
Star Wars Is My Best Movie

Walking Carpet
Star Wars is my best movie. Of all the films my parents have taken me to see, it is the best. Most times me and my brother wont stop “acting up” and my Dad “turns the car around” and takes us home. With Star Wars, we saw the whole thing. No acting up from either of us

Chewbacca is stronger than my Dad. He would kick his ass. One comment from my pop about “walking carpet” and --=Kabaam!!=–. Chewie would knock his ass through the floor. My dad doesn’t know that you let the Wookie win the game or he slaughters your ass. R2D2 did, but my dad does not. My pop would lose an arm for sure with Chewie around.

Tommy Jenkins
Star Wars is very popular. All the kids in school have seen it and we talk about it at recess. Yesterday at recess I bit Tommy Jenkins on the arm. He wasn’t expecting that. He said, “Let’s wrestle…” You know, he’s trying to be Hulk Hogan or something jumping off the ropes on me and then I bite him. That’ll teach that little turd. He didn’t know that I had the force, but I do.

There are many things that people don’t know about Star Wars. The landspeeder had wheels. But with all of the special 'fex going on, you feel really stupid, you have no idea. This guy Michael that lives next door thought he knew about the wheels. We bet on it and he wouldn’t give me his money so I bit the little smart ass. Then he gave me the money. This is the way it works in life. It is the power of the force. The force got me my dough from that jerk Michael.

The other night I was sitting on Ben’s swingset waiting for it to be dinner-time. We were looking up in the sky for any signs of Tie fighters. Ben thought he saw some bats flying past the clouds. No way though, it was too early, those were crows. He wouldn’t believe that they weren’t bats so I bit him. The power of the force works better on the weak minded. This was the case with the little fucker who lives next door, he gave in right away. No more talk about bats from you turd.

Grand Mouth
Tarkin
I don’t like Grand Mouth Tarkin. He would kill everyone if he had the chance. He does not believe in the force, he kicks ass in other ways. You can tell. He would kill your family and all of your friends and your dog too if you had him over for dinner. He would knock over the table and go Darth-Vader on your asses. Then he would go looking for your rebel base. He has ways of finding out where you live.

If I went into Mos Eye-sly I would not go into the bar. There are guys there who would kick your ass. I would stay outside in the landspeeder and bullseye Womp-rats. That would be funner. Womp-rats are about 2 meters tall and they melt and roll around in agony when you pour salt on them. But unlike Sand People, they don’t travel in a straight line. This makes them harder to bullseye from a landspeeder. Landspeeders do not have wheels.
Easier than
Womp-rats
Sand People are easy targets. Obi Wan said they ride single file. He knows, because he used to bullseye Sand People when he got bored. What else are you gonna do in the middle of a desert?

Scaring Sand People is fun. You just start screaming and they run away like little kids. But then you have to haul ass because they always come back in greater numbers. This gets old after awhile so I recommend bullseying them instead.

Obi Wan was always smiling. Like the geezer knew something that you didn’t. That’s what the force is all about. The force means you are smarter than everyone else and you can sit back and think, “I am one smart motherfucker, I have the force.” You can know things that other idiots don’t and when someone tries to bother you or won’t do what you want - you just smile and you kick their ass with the force. This is the way that things work in life.

This was all taken from the following page: http://www.myboot.com/starwars.html

HEehehehe.

HUGS!
Sqrl

SqrlCub’s Arizona Adventure

15

OK, since no one else is stepping up, I’ll volunteer. I will write a 5-7 pages term paper on the evils of plagiarism, quoting your case as an example, with multiple references. I’ll only charge $50.00. Please e-mail me for contact information.

16

Why not just copy something out of the encyclopedia. I seem to remember that worked for me in Fourth grade.

17

Ummm… Spiritus, did you check out Nurlman’s link? Pretty funny, actually. It got me thinking of posting a new topic “Bionic Man versus Incredible Hulk - whose kicking whose green ass?”

Personally, I didn’t take the OP seriously, but don’t have the balls to call anyone a troll just yet (I’m still working on the definition). Ursa’s the only I see who seemed to give the OP the benefit of the doubt, and responses like that keep me coming back to these boards for information and add to the respectability of the board. My hat is off to you Ursa. You too Nurlman and the rest of the TM that make these boards informative and entertaining.
And my money is on the Hulk :slight_smile:

Thanks for listening,

Rhythmdlv

Once in a while you can get shown the light
in the strangest of places
if you look at it right…

18

Nurlman, Sqrlcub, Thank you for the best laugh I’ve had in a long time! At first I though Nurlman was posting a site that had “real” term papers, but after reading the results of Sqrlcub’s research, I had to go check out the site.

Here’s a portion of the Abraham Lincoln Essay.

19

Fillet :

Thank you for the suggestions. We don’t have any topic restraints, but we do have to prove something. Make a statement and stand behind it kind of thing, and then site references. So it would have to be something like, “Boy Bands Rule,” I guess, and a few issues of Teen Beat as references, supporting my statment…

haha! Hey, I should do that… :evil grin:

What exactly qualifies as a “reference” anyway? Is there some criteria?

:slight_smile:
A girl

20

Sad…your in school to learn something, so do it! Learn how to write a thesis. If you have trouble writing 5-7 pages on ANYTHING you don’t need to explain why your in a community college. I have plenty more to say buddiwon’t.