I need a volunteer to be Greg House's roommate.

Obviously the spiritual sequel to this thread.

It will surprise no one that Rhymer Enterprises employees – particularly the field agents – not infrequently need medical attention, what with basically being a band of thieves and murderers who, paradoxically, are under standing orders to shoot rapists and child molesters in the face on sight. Being Dylanesque-brand criminals, we naturally avoid doctors who don’t work for us. Our long-time chief doctor has just retired, so I’ve hired Greg House to take his place. Dude needs a job, and he’s ethically flexible, and of course the exotic ailments that sometimes afflict RhE employees leave him happy

But there’s a problem. House’s longtime “friend,” James Wilson, has shuffled off this mortal coil. Without someone to hang out with, House tends to lose focus. I need someone to be his roommate, make sure he doesn’t OD on Vicodin, and occasionally engage in prank wars. Same deal as living with Sheldon Cooper: luxurious living quarters, access to hookerbots, holosuites, and the Universal Library, stipend to be negotiated. You’ll have to go to monster truck rallies and potato-gun contests with him as needed, and you’ll be given an office next to his in the RhE infirmary building to do – hell, I don’t care what you do, actually. You just have to hang out there during working hours in case House wants/needs to has things out.

Any takers? What’s your price? For that matter, what’re your qualifications?

Nowhere near the same problem as Sheldon Cooper. I’d do it in a heartbeat, since I wouldn’t be his subordinate so he couldn’t make me do any of the things that would actually suck.

My qualifications? I’m apparently the only one who saw this thread.

Oh, yeah, I’m totally up for it. Do I get to have sex with him, too? :smiley:

Qualifications? Um…I have boobs. And I’m used to nagging people to take care of their health. And since Dr. House and his MD minions do all the nursing work in their universe anyhow, I’d be delighted to just kick back and enjoy bugging the hell out of him.

Sorry, too much drama. He’s an amoral, drug addict with little to no regard for the welfare of himself or anyone around him. I could never trust him and would be in fear for my life since one never knows when he might drive through a wall or something.

  1. Do I have to have him as my personal physician? He never gets the diagnosis right the first two or three times.
  2. If not, what insurance company will take me, knowing who my housemate is?

Works for me - I like playing pranks and have a decent sense of humor.

On the plus side for House - I would love a good diagnostic workup, and have a few quirky medical conditions.

Hm, an office to myself? I need a decent sized plasma tv, with a comfy double recliner couch, a desk with an excellent state of the art gaming computer though the title on my door would be ‘research assistant to dr greg house’ I would mainly hang out, watch tv and play MMORPGs. I also need a wicked good espresso/coffee machine, and a compact kitchen disguised as a wardrobe.

The apartment he has is nice, though I don’t remember if he has a good kitchen or not, but we need maid service. I also need a safe in my bedroom so I can keep a few things that he will NOT be able to mess with. It needs to be somehow locked in a manner that I am the only person that can open it. I need a good wardrobe allowance, all my internet accounts locked so that he can not hack them, and a hackproof smart phone and tablet. Salary beyond that will be 1 million US$ taxfree [or after tax amount]

Easy. Just make all your passwords and combinations “LUPUS”. :smiley:

If I can have sex with him, you don’t even have to pay me. In fact, I’ll pay you. Or him.

I think this is already my job.

It seems like the only downside to bunking with Hous is that you won’t be allowed to have any friendships or relationships with anyone other than House. On top of that, even if you do volunteer, chances are that House will find you unacceptable.

This is the kicker. Is House going to consider me an acceptable “friend,” or is he going to do his best to make me miserable until I flee from the contract?

I could handle him in the former case, but no way in hell would I put up with the latter.

Roommate? Hell, I’d be his bedmate in a heartbeat!