I nominate “Captain Starship Christmas” by Keith Emerson. Yeesh!
I love “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas”!
“All I Want For Christmas is My Two Front Teeth”
Bob Rivers. There’s a long list of other Christmas parodies he’s done at that link.
THEY’RE NOT BLINKING!
“Christmas at Ground Zero” by “Weird Al” Yankovic
“Six White Boomers” by Rolf Harris (it’s not actually a bad song - I quite like it. It’s definitely not your typical Christmas song, though.)
Doing a little googling, it seems that there is a “Star Wars” Christmas album - the link is complete with music. C3P0 singing “Christmas With The Stars” (R2D2 beeping back-up). Oh my god. We have a winner!
(My favourite Christmas carol is “Walking 'Round in Women’s Underwear.” It’s such a classic. 
)
I HATE HER! SHE’S A WITCH!
all of the christmas music stations locally play “hava a holly jolly christmas” “jingle bell rock” and “rocking around the christmas tree” at least three times an hour
I think The Chipmunk Song can safely be put on the list of bad Christmas songs.
(The original version, by The Chipmunks, is the definitive verson, but there’s a version by The Lost Dogs that is, in some ways, far worse, that can be heard at their myspace page.)
Some one posted this one the other day on Shirley Ujest’s thread. Prepare for the horror: I’m gonna spend my Christmas with a Dalek.
Any CD of bad Christmas songs would be incomplete without “I farted on Santa’s lap.” A true Christmas classic!
Now I have to go listen to some of these songs.
Clean or dirty? I was compiling a Christmas CD last year for a friend and there is a lot of pretty off color Christmas tunes. You’d be amazed. Or disgusted. Funny either way.
“Frosty the pervert”
“Suck on my cock” (the the tune of “Jingle Bell Rock”) actually pretty well done.
Of course for the clean, any Bing Crosby, Gene Autry, any of the classics.
I can’t believe that no one has mentioned “A John Waters Christmas” yet.
He talks about the album, and Christmas in general, here.
There’s a great parody of the Chipmunks: Holy Shit, It’s Christmas by Red Peters.
Christmas Time For My Penis by The Vandals is both funny *and *poorly done.
For some of the crappiest Christmas glurge you can ever wrap an ear around, try The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot by Nat King Cole and Dean Martin.
Look for stuff by Kevin Bloody Wilson, too.
They got sued for that able. Apparently, the copyright holder of Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas didn’t care.
That should read “album” instead of “able,” of course.
This would be the same Bob Rivers & Twisted Radio also attributed to “Walkin’ ‘Round in Womens’ Underwear” above, on the same album even, entitled “I Am Santa Claus”. That album also has a rendition of “These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things” done Bon-Scott-era-AC/DC style.
I don’t know if it’s so much ‘bad’ as … well, okay, it’s bad - but sort of in a good way.
If you can get your hands on Bucko and Champs you can get a bundle of songs about Christmas in Australia, including things like driving in a Holden ute (instead of riding in a one-horse open sleigh), or Santa’s sleigh being pulled by white kangaroos, etc.
It’s silly stuff, but the target audience - kids - love it.
Jingle Cats, Meowy Christmas. Audio clips available.
I’ve got them all beat. This song is so godawful, so utterly wrong-headed, you won’t know whether to laugh or just stare at the stereo in horror.
Tiny Tim’s “Santa Claus Has Got the AIDS This Year.”
I don’t think it was meant as a joke… or if it is, it’s a joke by a guy who has no idea what AIDS entails (the lyrics make it sound like AIDS is just a bad cold- so don’t worry kiddies, Sanat will be good as new next year).
Warning: if you have your sounds on, this is NSFW.
But it uses no crude words or dirty pics.
http://www.samtsai.com/p28/the-twelve-days-of-christmas-12-days-of-xmas-ecard/
It was a uk website about condom usage and the diseases/infections one can get if they aren’t used.
Hearing “Chlaaaaamidiaaaaa” to the tune of “Five Golden Rings” is a hoot.
Merry XXXmas 