I am fairly grown up about most things sartorial. I even own my own tuxedo (way, WAY better than renting), with two different shirts (wing collar and standard collar). Hell, I even have a pair of formal socks to wear with it.
But bow ties still stymie me.
Firstly, I have never learned how to tie one, so I have to rely on pre-tied ties. Fine, a lot of men do, but I want to move beyond that. I’ve looked at every online guide and how-to I can find, and I still don’t get it. Every time I go to a new men’s store or higher-end department store I ask around, and nobody knows how to do it - even the sixty-year-old looking guy at Jos. A. Bank. If anyone by chance knows someplace in the greater Orlando, FL area where I can get help, please let me know. Alternatively, if you’ve got some novel way to explain how to do it, such that I will not only be successful, but will feel stupid that I didn’t get it before, please share.
Secondly, let’s assume that I can overcome the hurdle I just mentioned. I cannot find the bow tie I really want. It’s narrower, with a smaller knot, than the standard butterfly. It brings to mind the late 50s or the 60s, and Rock Hudson. Rob Lowe would wear this style tie on The West Wing when there was a formal event (not that I look anything like Rob Lowe). I would guess that the ends of the tie are 1/2 - 2/3 the width of the standard bow tie, and is either longer than standard, or simply appears that way because the ends are narrow. The overall effect is more angular than the “roundedness” of the standard tie. I haven’t been able to find one in stores, and I can’t figure out how to sort through the myriad results a Google search gives me. So, does anyone know:
[ol]
[li]What I’m talking about,[/li][li]How I would describe such a tie (does it have a name?), or,[/li][li]Where I can find such a tie?[/li][/ol]
In case you couldn’t tell, Christmas Party season is arriving, and I’d like to be a little better prepared than last year. Thanks in advance for any assistance.
Here is page one. , and here is page two. , from Joseph A. Banks, by the way.
I learned (back in the 1970’s!) by taping the guide I got from my men’s store to the mirror and slowly copying the steps. I was a strange high school student.
The size of the knot is determined by the width of the tie, a narrow tie gets you a small, trim knot, a wider tie, a wider knot. I reccomend that you balance the width of your tie with the width of your lapels, you don’t want massive Steve McGarrett lapels with a tiny little James Bond Tie.
A good source for bow ties would be your local vintage clothing store, you have to keep your eyes open and shop around. Also, your local men’s clothing store that caters to the higher end will have tuxedo and tuxedo supply catalogues that they can order from. I recently made a connection with a friendly manager and spent not that much money by ordering my shirts and ties from those.
Silk ties are best, the older ones will wear out sooner. Acetate will look shiny and be cheaper but the older ones from the 50’s and 60’s will not last long, YMMV.
The difficult part for me was finding the hole that’s referenced in step #9 of the linked instructions above. I just couldn’t find it when I was trying to tie the tie on myself. My girlfriend stepped in, followed the directions tying it on me, and found the hole instantly. Once she pointed it out to me, it became very simple.
So, my suggestion is, try having someone follow the directions tying it on you so you can find the hole that one end of the tie must be pushed through. Once you know how to find it, it is really not that hard.
Don’t feel bad; it’s been at least fifteen years since I’ve worn any other kind of tie, and I find it maddening to try to describe how to tie a bow tie. But it’s fairly easy to demonstrate. Here’s a link to a streaming video, courtesy of Beau Ties, Ltd. of Vermont.
I’ve already jumped in with one irrelevant sexual comment, so let me add another, perhaps more relevant than its predecessor.
Not every bow tie wearer is sexy – see previous Gordon Gee reference (his signature is on my master’s degree diploma from WVU!).
Not every sexy man has the panache to wear a bow tie.
But that combination of sexy and bow tie? R-r-r-r-r-ow! It’s like I’ve been given this perfect little gift-wrapped package, and I can’t wait to untie the ribbon and see what’s inside.
Thanks for the help, everyone. SuperNelson, thanks especially for the links - Beau Ties makes all of their ties available in a super-slim width, which is what I was looking for. I think their video might have helped a little, too. I’m going to take another stab at it this weekend, and see if I make any progress. I’ll let you know.
I knew at some point I was going to have an “Ah-Ha!” moment, and it was this morning. I watched the video in the link SuperNelson provided, steeled my nerve, and tried again this morning. Got it on the first try! It was helpful to watch, in the video, relative lengths of each “half” of the tie. As far as “finding the hole,” I don’t know what I was doing wrong before, but it was pretty easy this morning. I wound up with a very respectable looking bow after one try.
Thanks everyone for the help. I like wearing a tuxedo, and this’ll just be that last bit of something I needed to complete the experience. It adds a little extra panache to the whole thing, I think.
