In the 8 months since joining Facebook, at least 2 HS friends have lost their dads. Add to the fact both parents turn 60 on their next birthdays.
60 is still young. Unless your parents have pre-existing conditions, or a family history of dying young, or are engaged in risky behaviors, I think you have some time left with them yet. Heck, I’m not that far from 60 myself. I am aware that I could die at any time, but realistically, I doubt it’ll be in the next 20 years. Both of my parents are alive and on the far side of 75 now.
I just lost my mom last year and now I’m in complete denial about my father ever passing. I’m pretty sure he’s going to live to 120…
I’m adopted, so I can’t count on genetics, but both maternal gp lived into their 70’s (both deceased) my living paternal Grandmother is 90 something, and until the last few years, lived alone for 25 years or so.
Given the family history you just posted, I think you’re jumping the gun a bit. 60 isn’t old - my parents are both in their mid 70s, and have only recently started slowing down at all. I have another relative who just hit 80, and who is still living alone, working part time, and more or less has the same lifestyle as she’d had for the last 50 or 60 years of her life.
Thx Athena. You’re right, they look like they’ll live awhile. But I worry what happens to me when they’re gone.
60? Please, my dad turns 89 in October. Do your folks have some sort of terminal illness?
My parents are healthy. Full disclosure I just realized: I don’t know how old my friends’ dads were.
I don’t think it’s unreasonable. My mother had a stroke just a couple years ago (I was 28 and she was 64), and while she was in the hospital found out she had a brain aneurysm that would have gotten her if the stroke hadn’t. Fortunately, she recovered and had surgery to address the aneurysm, but I realized that it’s never too early to start thinking about that sort of thing and talking with your parents about how they would like their affairs handled. It’s not a pleasant conversation, but I think your friends’ experiences are a good way to bring up the topic.
My dad died at 57 and my mom died at 63. Lucky me. So, yeah, it is realistic to worry about it, but what can you do? Just enjoy the time you have with them. Try to be nice to them or make peace if you need to while you can. Then when their time comes you will be okay. It was devastating for me when my parents died, but I survived it.
If you’re depending on them in some way, it probably is best for you all to sit down and come up with a back up plan, because you never know. It’s also best for them, and everyone else to get all of their affairs in order, but other than that, I wouldn’t worry about it. There’s no sense counting down the time they possibly have left, and it’s not going to make it any easier to deal with when that day arrives.
I’m more worried about losing my one remaing grandma than my mom at this point. Grandma’s going to be 90 next month and while serious longevity runs in the family, she has some ongoing heart issues that have given us some scares. But she’s been doing better lately and is quite proud of hitting 90.
I can’t think about losing my mom. I’m already down one parent. But judging from her family on both sides I probably won’t have serious cause to worry about her for another fifteen or twenty years.
My mom is terribly overweight. She’s not diabetic, but metabolically she’s been playing footsie with it.
I nag her and tick her off about this. But I can’t either stop caring or stop her from overeating, and, well, I guess I choose not to keep my big mouth shut.
I don’t want her dead soon at all. I know it’s going to happen, eventually, but I also know I’ll feel like the whole world has dropped out from under me.
Stop nagging about being overweight. That just leads to more compulsive eating. Get her to go to a yoga class with you or water aerobics or just walking. Do it together. Go with her to Weight Watchers even if you are not overweight. Explore the idea of a gastric bypass.
I cried all day when my mother turned 50. (I was away in college.) I thought she was nearly dead. It didn’t bother her at all. She will be 98 in January.
Bruce Springsteen will turn 61 in a few days. He doesn’t have time to die. Mick Jagger was 67 in July. Sure there are exceptions and parents can and do die young. So do children. I’m all for getting business taken care of and appreciating each other more.
Call your grandmother.
My dad smokes. He doesn’t seem to have any personal reason to quit, even with his grandsons around now (though he always smokes outside, never in their presence). My sister and I have shook our heads over this for years, but without effort on his part, any pushing we do is doomed to failure.
He says he’s healthy otherwise, and I hope he’s right.
My Dad turns 89 in December. 1921 must have been a good year.
And I can’t wait until Klondike Geoff reads this thread given that he is 84. 
Underline mine: you can’t count on genetics for your own life expectancy estimates, but you can do it for your parents, unless they were adopted too. Now, I think it’s good to be aware that Shit Happens at any age, and take into consideration that it may, but barring car crashes it looks like you’ll have parental units for a couple decades yet.
It’s not unreasonable at all. My mother died this year of cancer - she was VERY healthy, never ate fat or oil or salt, skinny, exercised daily, etc. She was 66. The cancer just did her in.
It’s a real lesson to me - she suffered her whole life and rarely indulged in any joy, instead saving up coin after coin after coin. And now what? My dad can live in splendor while she’s gone, she certainly can’t use it.
My parents were both born in 1921 (and I wholeheartedly agree with the notion of theirs being “the greatest generation”). I consider them about my best friends and am grateful to still have them alive and living next door. They’re still pretty sharp for their age, with a few detours into the wacky world of dementia thrown in for amusement…
Dad took a couple of mental side trips just yesterday, in fact: 1) drank a big swig of orange-scented laundry detergent (“it had a picture of an orange on it, I thought it was orange juice”); 2) mistakenly dialed 911 when trying to call me (“your phone number and 911 share some common digits, you know”)—the responding police officer scared the bejesus out of my young daughter who answered the door.”
As for mom, I’ve given up correcting her when she calls me by their long deceased cat’s name (i.e. the real Tibby) or stopping her when she asks me the same exact question for the 5th or 6th time in a row (“no, mom, I didn’t win the Irish Sweepstakes this year…meow…”). Fortunately, neither has lost one iota of their considerable senses of humor and we all have a good laugh over their cognitive faux pas (“wait a few years, son, you’ll be drinking laundry detergent, too”).
People seem to have such odd attitudes towards death. Denial? Maybe I’m just the odd one - perhaps because I experienced and thought about death from such a young age. We’ll all be dead and gone one day, and very often there is no warning. Babies die, and young people with their whole lives ahead of them, as well as much-beloved old people. People who ‘do it all right’ can die young of horrible health conditions, and people who don’t make any effort to preserve their health can live to a hale old age.
I’m sorry to hear about your mom.
In light of recent research, stories like this aren’t such a surprise - people who try to follow common health advice such as eating low-fat diets (which can contribute to low total and HDL cholesterol), avoiding sun exposure (which leads to low blood serum levels of vitamin D - most people in the USA are highly deficient at this point), etc are being found to be at much higher risk of getting cancer, and dying from cancer.
Currently I’m eating a high-fat diet to get my naturally low cholesterol up (ideally at least 30 points) and practicing sensible sun exposure during the summer and D supplementation during the winter.