One of my uncles died today, and one of my aunts has limited time left. Y’know, I long ago came to terms with the fact that I will die someday. Apparently I have not come to terms with the fact that people I’ve known all my life, who I have loved and who have loved me, who dropped me down the stairs when I was a baby and who drove 50 miles in a snowstorm at two in the morning to get me safe will also die someday.
Fuck.
I am sorry for your loss. It just sucks.
I know how you feel. My dad has seven siblings, ranging in age from 60 to 77, and all but one still has a living spouse. The first one died last year-- the third oldest. I think it was a real wake-up call for all of us that the Lendervedders aren’t immortal.
My dad told me I can probably expect to be at a funeral a year for several years to come. Fortunately, 2007 has nearly passed without another one.
Sorry for your loss.
Although I’m in my early 30’s, I have not had a grandparent since the early 90’s. It sucks to know you are a member of a shortlived clan.
I guess it is time to make yourself memorable to all of your younger relatives so that they too may know the melancholy sweetness of doddering old relatives.
Don’t I know it. My dad is the youngest of five and he just turned 80 this year.
His three brothers have been dead for years, and his sister (next youngest to him) has stage 4 lung cancer that’s metastasizing. She’s managed to outlive the doctor’s predictions, though; she was diagnosed almost a year and a half ago. My mom’s not in the best of health, either.
I still remember the shock I felt the first time I realized that my parents are getting old. They’re not supposed to! They’re supposed to be there for always! I tell you, the 6-year-old inside of me is not at all happy.
Morgyn, neither is my inner six-year-old. My mom’ll be 60 and my dad 66 this year. Fortunately, we come of a fairly long-lived clan, but still…I’ve had to deal with my mom’s impending mortality when she had breast cancer about 12 years ago, and my dad’s when he had a heart catheterization this year. They CAN’T leave me, ever. I won’t allow it. ::stamps foot::
It happens. And, all too often, at about the same time. There have been quite a few deaths among our parent’s generation between Pepper Mill’s family and my own since 2000, when there were four deaths. Most of them were about the same age, so it’s not entirely surprising, when you look at it objectively. Of course, it’s hard to do that. It just seems as if a huge part of family structure and tradition is crumbling away at once.
Remember what they did and who they were. Collect it in photo albums or storage, and write down what you recall.
I’m in the middle of the thinning of the elders. My dad and all his sibs have died, and only my mom and one uncle by marriage remains. My husband has lost 3 uncles recently, plus a 4th who died 2 days ago, and the surviving members of that side of the family range from mid-60s to 80s, some in rather poor health. I foresee a lot of funerals over the next few years, likely even my inlaws.
Nothing like a smack of mortality right upside the head to alter your frame of reference…
My grammy’s youngest sister (10th of 10) died last March at age 65. It was the first time I’d seen a lot of my extended family since the late 90s, and I was shocked by how much older everyone looked. Vynce, cousin Joey and I are the only grandkids our grandparents had, and their siblings’ grandkids are all quite a bit older than us - about 40 at the very youngest - and it just struck me then that in the coming years there will be a lot more funerals as the older members of our family pass away. It’s still a depressing thought.
Sorry, it is always difficult to lose a relative or any loved one.
The good thing about being as old as I (80) is that, well, I’m still here.
The really depressing part is I have lost almost all of my contemporary friends, too many of my younger ones and of course, all my older relatives.
Just remember what George Burns said when asked late in life if he was dating anyone his age.
“There are no dates my age.”
I’m the oldest in my circle of friends. It’s a small comfort, but it is a comfort, knowing that I probably won’t be attending any of their funerals.
I’m sorry for your loss, Frank.
Hey Frank, my dad died in 2005. One of his sisters died a few weeks ago.
As my older brother commented: you go through the wedding and kids phase, and then you go through the death and funeral phase.
I never even thought that funerals would be a “phase.” But thinking of it, just about all my parents’ friends and siblings are in that age group. It’s going to be a cruel next decade or so.
Bon chance, mon ami. C’est la vie.
All but one of my dad’s siblings and their respective spouses are gone. The last is his sister in law who lives in Texas. I don’t know how old she is, but I’m pretty sure she’s at least 90.
The worse thing is, my own siblings are going, too. All but one of my half-brothers and their wives, who are/were old enough to be my parents, are gone. It’s starting to sink in for the rest of us that we’re the older generation now. It used to be accidents and such that I worried about for my siblings, but now it’s beginning to be health related things. So far, thank goodness, they’re all fine, but we’re all getting to the age when it becomes a consideration.
I have only one paternal uncle left- plus my father who is the oldest at 86. It happens.
That’s the thing about generations, especially familial ones. They tend to live an approximately similar length of time.
My father and his side of the family have all long since gone. My mother’s side tend to be longer lived, so I am anticipating her to be around for another decade or two.
But death’s an unpredictable bugger. It creeps up behind you and gives you a short sharp shock.
Out of 13 in my parents’ generation, only 2 are still alive. And I’ve already lost a couple cousins, and one in the next generation.
Hi KlondikeGeoff , Do you have any recipe for long life? hopefully, maybe, one that involves good single malts and gardening?
Just the old standby: choose your parents carefully for longevity! Actually, my mother died at 58, but my dad lived to 88 and most of my uncles on his side went into their late 80s.
Also, don’t eat anything that ain’t fried.
Yeah, single-malt scotch has to be good for roter-rooting out the arteries. Gardening? Meh.
Happy outlook on life? Sure. One of my uncles lost his mind, but he never missed it.
Carry on.
Sorry for your loss, Frank. Out of curiosity, how old are you? I’m 36. I’ve lost my mother and an uncle this year, and four friends of mine have each lost a parent as well. It seems like it’s all begun pretty suddenly.
Christmas is going to suck this year.