"I never call myself, HA HA HA!!" Shut up Shut up SHUT UP!

Oh look, another job rant from me! Part of my job is activating gift cards and part of the activation process is having cardholders verify their cell phone numbers.

Dear customers:

I asked you for your area code. You just verified your ZIP code. Why the bloody FUCK would you think I’d ask you to verify your ZIP code twice in a row?

I asked you for your cell phone number. You’re getting this card because you bought a new cell phone. The card has the name of your cell phone carrier printed on it. The letter the card was attached to does too, and when you called the greeting gave the cell phone company name. So don’t give me your fucking home phone number!

I asked you for the cell phone number that ends in a particular digit. So why the motherfucking hell would you give me a number that doesn’t end with that digit?

If you can’t remember your cell phone number, then you’re a fucking moron. And the dumbest fucking thing you could say about why you’re too stupid to remember your cell phone number is “I never call myself.” Of course you don’t call yourself, dumbass. But other people do, and how do they get your number if you don’t give it to them? And if no one ever calls you, why in the name of Fuckity T Fuck do you have a cell phone? And when you do say something as stupid as “I never call myself,” don’t laugh at it afterward. It’s not fucking funny. Every other moron says the same fucking thing, and when they say it it’s still not fucking funny.

“But by that logic, you apparently mail yourself letters all the time?”

(wonder how they’d respond to that? Probably… “Huh?”)

My dad wasn’t the smartest guy in the room a lot of times, but he was no dummy, either. He would have to think about it for a minute before he could recite his home number. He could rattle off his business phone number to you like it was written on your forehead, though.

Maybe that stupid joke isn’t funny to you anymore, having heard it in retail umpteen times a day. But to the person saying it to you, as they nervously buy themselves some time to try and remember something as apparently simple as their own home phone number, it might still be mildly funny and an attempt to lighten up an embarassing situation.

Get over yourself. And how about that heat?

Occasionally, I can’t remember my own cell phone number, and I’m comfortably certain I’m not a fucking moron. Everyone who needs the number has it, and I don’t give it out regularly. I’m sorry if that my discomfiture with being unable to remember the number on demand causes me to make a stupid joke that you’ve heard several times already that day. I’m embarassed at my own absentmindedness and trying to make light of the situation, because I know there is probably some underpaid, short-tempered phone worker on the other end of the line who is fed up with me and my kind.

Seriously, Otto, have you considered finding another line of work?

Well I do have to find where I live nightly. My neighbors are great, but their patience runs thin when I wander into their bedroom multiple times a week.

If a small bit of humor to cover what is clearly an awkward moment for the customer is going to make your blood boil to to the point you need to write a rather venomous thread about it, you ought to consider a job with minimal contact with the general public. At this rate, you’re going to have a heart attack by the time you’re my age.

Half the time I can’t remember my own cell phone number, but by Og, I know how to find it on my phone…

(It’s a new number, BTW, so it hasn’t sunk in yet)

I had to write my number on the back of my phone; it just has a lousy mnemonic rhythm.

Yes, you may have heard that line a zillion time, but no customer has said it more than a couple of times. They really can’t know what jokes/lines you have heard or not, eh?

I third the “another line of work”. :frowning:

My cell phone is for me to call people, not for people to call me. Half a dozen people have my number. I don’t remember it that easily, since I don’t give it out that often.

How to deal with telemarketers and home telefolk.


Well, I had been under the impression I wasn’t a fucking moron. Thank god Otto has shown me the light and proven I am in fact, a fucking moron.

I use my cell phone maybe 4-5 times a month, and receive calls on it less than that often. Most of the time I don’t even turn the damn thing on. I only use it for emergencies cause I hate talking on the phone.

My cell phone number has not only a different area code than my home phone, but a different exchange code (that’s what the first three numbers after the area code are, right? Those are the ones I mean).

As a result, I fairly often, when prompted to give my cell phone number, have to think about it. I often say in such situations, “haha, sorry, I never call myself!”

:frowning: I was perfectly aware it’s not all that original, but it does fill an uncomfortable gap when I’m standing there trying to remember it. Sorry if it pisses you off.

Oh wait. I’m not sorry at all.

Believe it or not, not everyone in this world treats their cell phone as some sort of life line they need perpetually attached to their ear in order to survive. Some of us would rather not have the damn things at all, but do so for cases of emergency since pay phones are both inconvenient and uncommon to find all over the place anymore. As a result, some of us may in fact, NOT be able to rattle off the number as rapidly as we could our name, blood type, or what we had for lunch today.

As others have said, perhaps working in customer service is a line of work that isn’t for you?

Bite your tongue. In my experience, the Peter Principle usually promotes irascible, opinionated employees with no people skills into the Human Resources department.

The only thing I can think of is that it’s like cashiers having to hear someone chortle, “It must be free then!” when something doesn’t scan. If I had a dime for every time I heard that old joke…
Still, I wasn’t that hostile.

Me too! I’ve finally remembered it, but I know Mr. K would never in a million years remember it, so it’s there.

OK, I will modify my Pitting slightly and partially retract the “fucking moron” for those who can’t remember their cell phne numbers. I don’t understand how one goes through life without having things like phone numbers, addresses, Social Security numbers and the like memorized, but I suppose it’s possible that being unable to remember these things does not, in and of itself, make one a moron.

The joke, however, is not, never was, and never will be funny.

And I’d love to get out of customer service, but every time I turn in my application for “Lord God King of the Universe” I never get called for an interview.

My cell phone is my emergency-only, never turned on, signalling device. I have its number written down in my wallet in case I ever have to give it to anyone because I have no clue what it is. And yes, I use the "I never call myself " line because, well, I never call myself.

Yeah, I’d say get another job.

Are you sure the phone number on the application is correct?

OK, you need to join up, pronto!

Believe it or not, it’s been only recently that you really needed to remember your social security number. Before I used on-line banking, I rarely used it except when getting a job, so taxes could be properly credited. And, of course, that was the original purpose.

In addition, some of us have difficulty remembering random meaningless numbers. Doesn’t mean were especially deficient.

Another vote for learning to calm down over insignificant things and/or getting into a job where you don’t have to deal with the general public. Of course, unless you do the former, you will continue to have problems, because there are insignificant things to be annoyed at all over the place. Learn some perspective.