I apologize in advance if I’m rambling, but I just needed to get this out.
Back in elementary school, I fell hard for this one girl, P. I never once told her about it. Even throughout high school, I always had a thing for her, but was too scared to tell her or ask her out.
After we graduated, we would run into each other once in awhile and catch up, but I never told her about my crush on her. Besides, I was in college and was seriously dating someone and figured it wasn’t going to matter anyways.
So I got married and had a family, and essentially forgot about her. We’ve lived out separate lives.
Then 3 years ago we had our 20 year High School class reunion. As I was getting ready to go I distinctly remember telling Mrs. D about my old crush on her. She laughed and told me about some of the guys she had crushes on. So at the reunion, I decided to tell P about my crush on her. She was very flattered. I remember thinking that it was good to get it out.
Fast forward to yesterday. I found out through a mutual FB friend that P was in the hospital undergoing major brain surgery to have her infected shunt removed. There were some complications and she was in the NCU recovering and there was some talk about how the neurosurgeon wasn’t sure if she would be able to feel her right side again. Something inside me said I had to visit her. So I stopped by to say hi and wish her well. She was very happy to see me. We talked for about 10 minutes or so before I left.
It was at that moment that I realized that I never fully got over my crush on her. I’ve learned that you can’t change the past and to live life to the fullest and I’m very happy in my marriage, but there will always be a special place in my heart for P.
I’m also happily married, and would never leave my wife for anybody. EVER.
But I also know what it’s like to have a wee tiny little special place in your heart for somebody. I think it’s natural, and normal. Being in a committed relationship doesn’t mean that you have absolutely NO room in your heart for anyone else, ever. It just means that you’ve decided that all those little crushes here and there will never mean nearly as much as your SO does, and you’re OK with that.
Dragwyr, to me it sounds like you got over it. From your post, you are fond of her and consider her a friend, but what you describe doesn’t make it sound like you are romantically in love with her.
Not crush, but first girlfriend. I think about her all the time. I’ve had only 2 serious relationships in the 20 years since mostly because women like her are few and far between. And of those two: they just weren’t the same.
So…
Danielle M., thank you for giving me 3 wonderful years 1988-1991 in New Port Richey, FL. I’d wish you the best of luck in your life, but I know you don’t need luck to make your life a good one. --David S.
This. I have a special place in my heart for a lot of old crushes/interests. It’s okay. There are some great guys in the world, it makes me happy just knowing that.
But 9 years ago I dated this guy for two weeks. Two very passionate weeks. I hurt him pretty bad. I did everything I could to convince him of my sincere regret and persuade him to give me a second chance. It never worked and since then I have fantasized about an alternate lifetime where things were different. He’s the one that got away and I think I will always have a secret love story for him in my heart.
Also, we’re friends on Facebook… I love Facebook… I can photo stalk him and no one will ever know!
That was going to be a version of my answer too. I live about 2000 miles from where I grew up. Facebook changed this way of thinking in a big way for me. There is no need to wonder what happened to my girlfriends from junior high and high school, they are right there in chat windows about 12 hours a day and they write me. I have the small harem I always wanted and it isn’t nearly as good as I thought it would be.
I love the modern world but thank god for broken dreams and geographical distance.
You are correct, but that tiny little part of me still sometimes wonders what could have happened… Just seeing her in the hospital the other day brought it out a little more strongly than usual, I guess.
I had a huge crush on an Irish girl in high school. Never dated her, never even spoke to her all that often and she’s still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. No woman, before or since, has had that kind of effect on me.
I find I never completely get over any of my crushes. The one thing that does happen is that they change so much that I find I’m crushing on who they used to be. But I always have a place in my heart for anyone I’ve ever fallen for.
A cerebral shunt is a length of tubing, incorporating a valve, used to drain excess cerebrospinal fluid (i.e. ‘water on the brain’ or hydrocephalus). Bad things happen when they become infected.
