I Pit Dumbasses in SUVs who don't know how to drive

The BBQ Pit
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Hey, you! Yeah, you “Oh, wow, crappy weather at night. This sucks… I better put on my high beams!” guy, and you, "Shit, threre’s ice on the road, freezing rain falling from the sky, and many cars around me. But it’s okay, I can go fifty-five in this thirty-five zone, because I’m in SUV and therefore invinsible!"guy. Fuck you. Learn to drive in the winter or get the fuck off the road. You’re in Goddamn Rochester, NY. Shitty winter weather is what happens here, so learn how to drive in it, or go to hell. At least there you won’t kill anyone because you’re to fucking stupid to learn how to drive in the winter.

Have a crappy day, hope your house burns down.

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Thanks for being the first!

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I’ve been meaning to start this thread for years. Regallag, I’m in North Dakota, it’s a college town, and I know damn well what you mean. May I add my biggest peave? Not neccessarily SUV, but germaine.
4-wheel drive does not make you stop any faster! You stupid cunt. I realize when dad bought you the Subaru because you were going to have to “rough it” up here he tought he was doing you a favor.
Nope.
What he did for you was try to overcompensate for your tiny silver balls in giving you what he thought was a safe car.

I realize you’re from Atlanta and by default so much better than us small town idjits. We’ve managed to build the best flight school in the country, if not the world. (If any of you are pilots or know anyone that is a pilot ask them about UND.) And we even passed a law last year requiring everone in the city to have indoor plumbing! And it was all for you. Because you’re so special.

We’ve actually built the University to a major research center and are gaining national recognition for advancement in medicine and environmental studies. (Ask Dorgan and Conrad, I’m not searhing for cites in this rant.)

So you’d think there were reasonably intelligent people flooding the city every year, right? Yeah, so would I. We’re both wrong.

Dear Asshole coming here to get a degree while disdaining the locals,

Ice is slippery. When you hit the brakes, the tires sometimes will, oh I don’t know, NOT GAIN TRACTION!

When you’re on ice, 4X4 will sometimes give you an advantage, but more often it will cause more power to be sent to one or two wheels, causing the car/truck to “pull” to one side. That side being sometimes occupied by another car.

“Oh, but I have the traction-control option!” Fine asshole, now level off the lane so you don’t move forward while sliding into my quarterpanel. You may be able to gun the engine and move forward, but every now and then gravity gets it’s claws on you. And you move forward and sideways at the same time.

I realize it’s a law of physics and us dullards don’t understand your superior intellect, but we do understand that a ton of steel on ice doesn’t handle the same as it does on a dry Interstate. Call us old-fashioned.

And for fuck’s sake. Can we get a national campaign on this one?

If you’re approaching an intersection with snow on the road, DO NOT aim for that shiny, narrow, two divot area on the road that is shiny? Snow gives more traction than ice. You can start and stop more easily that way. And maybe not hit me in the process.
That felt kind of good. I’ll enjoy it till I have to go somewhere tomorrow anywhere near those buildings with all them smart people.

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Just to clarify on reading it, that’s in no way directed to Regallag. Just inspired by his OP.

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And I pit dumbasses in economy cars that don’t know how to drive.

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Sure, there are SUV operators who need to buy a clue.

At the same time, there are sphincter pilots who will cruise along the PA turnpike while it’s raining but because the forecast called for possibility of freezing weather will irregularly flash their taillights, sending the Morse code message: “My father should have pulled out in time.”

Drive well or park. Others can STFU.

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This town is full of little old ladies who only drive between Thanksgiving and Christmas. They are out in full force. Stop signs do not apply to them. Driving above 25 mph is simply not an option. Most of them observe the road from the small slice of windscreen between the dash and the steering wheel.

Unfortunately, I can’t just stay home until the 26th.

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I think it’s safe to say that the percentage of people who are “poor to stupid” drivers’ is largely independant of the “type” of vehilce they/re driving.

Although, to be fair, the larger a vehicle is, the greatest it’s potential for damage - hence, there is some merit in asking SUV driver’s to be extra careful/

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Also, four-wheel drive allows stupidass drivers to get themselves into deeper trouble before they realize they’re past the point of no return. Now, four-wheel drive isn’t unique to SUVs, but the combination of 4WD and high ground clearance allows you to perform all sorts of feats of idiocy in a way that, say, my mom-in-law’s itty bitty 4WD Subaru with the shopping cart wheels would not. (The point of putting 4WD on a car that, should it break down, will not be towed into the shop but carried there by three burly guys named Jonny, Reidar, and Jonny-Reidar, escapes your humble correspondant, but we can rant about this another day.)

A couple weeks ago, observing a frightened attempt to pull into a parking space when there was some fresh snow but no ice on the ground, I muttered: “If that car is too big for you to handle, drive something smaller, ya moron.” My 11 year old son, who overheard me, asked what I would advise the similarly perplexed driver in the next row of the lot to try instead of his dinky Ford Ka. “A bus pass?” was all I could think of.

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Is there some correlation between driving ability and SUV ownership? Honest question.

I tend to notice the stupidity of SUV drivers much, much more frequently than people driving regular cars. Now, I’ve always attributed this fact to two things: if a person is driving an SUV, they may feel invincible and that perhaps they are driving an SUV because they have a bad driving record and believe the SUV to be safer.

Then again, maybe I’m just hyper-aware of the SUVs. All I’m saying is that it is a relationship that I have certainly noticed.

I should actually note, it isn’t just SUV drivers: it’s anyone in a really big truck thing- whether an F250, 350, etc or an SUV.

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Amen. I hear a lot of hate toward SUV drivers on here, but very little toward people who drive Toyota Corollas with one misaimed headlight and bald tires and putter along in the fast lane ten miles an hour below the limit the first time a flake hits the road and then get all screechy with SUV drivers.

Here’s a bit of info: 4x4 DOES help you drive better in the snow. 4 channel ABS DOES allow you to stop faster and better on slippery or mixed surfaces. FWD econoboxes DO have horrendous understeer that is IMHO very dangerous. AWD IS easier to drive in slippery conditions because it can seriously save your ass if you get out of shape. My theory: Those SUV drivers going 50 mph in the snow are safer and more in control than you are in your Corolla at 35 mph.

Of course, if I had it my way, very few of you would be out on the road. You don’t know how to threshold brake, you don’t know that oversteer is safer than understeer, your first reaction to any hazard is to slam on the brakes and, frankly, you scare the crap out of me.

Sincerely, Necros
Rally driver

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Diosa, I’d say no, there is no correlation. Bad drivers drive everything - I think the general traits of bad drivers are inattention and selffishness. Too many drivers don’t realize that driving should take your complete attention. A moving vehicle is not a good place to multitask. Poor driving conditions just exacerbate the two issues.

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Hey, Necros,while we’re on the subject of crappy Japanese vehicles;allow me to trash the Nissan Godzilla and Godzilla SUV–a.k.a. the Titan and the Armada.

Ever travel alongside either of these monstrosities in sloppy weather? The wheelwell designer either used to work for or should work for Toro. I honestly don’t notice the spume from other tall vehicles the way I notice it from those two. 20’ wakes on either side, minimum.

If I see one approaching, I immediately kick the wiper speed up a notch because I know that the deluge is coming.

One bit of good news is that these two are fast becoming Tokyo’s Edsels. My local Nissan dealer is renting the parking lot of an abandoned discount store to put all of his allotment into. He must have at least 100, and they never seem to move.

Last week, I saw an Armada with dealer plates in a turn lane not far from the dealership with its hood up, its hazard flashers barely blinking, and a clearly pissed-off prospect and
hapless salesman peering at the disabled engine.

The dealership has had so many of these things for so long that the batteries are all dying.

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Yes! I was so there yesterday.

590 was filled with idiots who didn’t realize that there was ice everywhere and Ridge Rd was a zoo that had everywhere doing stop and go right up to the bumper of the person in front of them.

I’m not proud of some of the driving I did yesterday but between avoding the maniacs and the selfish bastards it was not fun.

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I find this very interesting. One of my pet peeves about American pickup trucks and SUVs is that mudflaps seem to be an optional, as opposed to standard accessory. Um, HELLO?! I mean, I have to have mudflaps insteadded on my freaking Celica per ally America rules. If you have a pickup truck, without flaps you are spraying all sorts of good behind you and all over the cars behind you, not to mention rocks, ice bits, etc. All of the Japanese tracks I see seem to have mudflaps installed already. Interesting to hear that the Titan/Armada are ofenders in this category. Seems like Japanese companies are following the bad American designs along with the good in the category of trucks. Too bad. :frowning:

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And by insteadded, I mean installed. I think I installed my fingers incorrectly this morning. :rolleyes:

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Oh. I thought you meant you got them instead of the standard thing that goes there.

Having driven through Wisconsin in the aftermath of an ice storm and seeing over fifty cars off the side of the road in a ten-mile stretch of I-94, I’d just like to say that the laws of physics and stupidity seem to apply to all sizes, shapes, and makes of vehicles.

There were probably more than fifty, but it was dark out and I was desperately trying not to join them, so that’s just how many I could count when I was on straight, clear pavement…

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Quite frankly, for the majority of drivers on the road, the bolded statement is crap.

Sure, oversteer might be safer than understeer for drivers who know how to deal with both situations. But a huge percetage of drivers probably don’t even know what those words mean, let alone how to deal with them properly. And for those people, understeer is a much safer option

In most modern cars, understeer makes itself felt quite gradually, and is relatively easily corrected by simply easing back on the gas. Cutting back on the power will usually cause the front end to come back into line, and the car to proceed around the turn in an orderly fashion.

Oversteer, on the other, often makes itself felt much more dramatically, and is also much more likely to freak out inexperienced drivers and cause over-reaction. Then you get people slamming on the brakes, or making dramatic over-corrections, and problems result. This sort of thing is much less likely in the case of understeer.

While oversteer might be the preferred default for experienced rally drivers like you, i think that mild understeer is much safer for most of the driving population, as it is less likely to get them into big trouble unless they ignore all the warning sighns of impending doom.

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Hooray other New Yorkers. I’m near Buffalo, we know a thing or two about driving in snow. Except for the dumb asses who develop amnesia in July and August the only two months when we don’t have snow. :wink:

The 219 south of the city goes toward ski country. It has the neat habit of getting dumped on by bands of lake effect snow. When the weather systems move in from the west they pick up all this moisture from the yet unfrozen Lake Erie and dump it on the first land it comes across. You can have a town or two get a foot of snow and a little North or South it’s dry. THIS HAPPENS ALL THE TIME, remember last week? A few days before? Maybe every single year of your damn lives before and since you’ve started driving? No need to change driving habits under different conditions.

Learn to deal with it. My rules of driving for you dumb asses:
-When the back end of the car starts to slide back and forth it’s called a fishtail. Put the gas pedal to the floor and power forward. Be sure to hold the steering wheel in a death grip and jerk it to one side or the other.
-If the whole car starts to slide to one side, it’s a skid. Slam on the brakes as hard as you can. It will stop the car in a gentle controlled manner.
-No need to waste your time clearing snow off the roof, lights, mirrors and back window. Hey you never use any of those features anyway. Just a 1 foot circle in front of your face should be enough.
-The speed limit is to be maintained at all times. So what if there is ice or snow on the pavement. You must stay at full speed all the time.

*Love, Mr. Goob who really thinks a tow truck business could be lucrative. *

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That word- I dinna think i’ means wha you think i’ means.

That said, just fuck bad drivers. I think that if you take two equally shitty drivers, put one in a Prius, and one in an Escalade, the Escalade will ultimately be more of a problem, but yeah, shitty drivers is shitty drivers.

But, so I can still have the fun of bashing SUVs, let me say “Hey fucknut. You see how your left wheels are in my lane? That means you’re either a shitty driver and you shouldn’t be there, or your vehicle is too big, and you shouldn’t be there. Rest assured, that when I am inevitably faced with getting hit by oncoming traffic or plowing into your behemoth, it’ll be you I smash in to. I might even accelerate a little more than necessary; I have a 93 Corolla, what have I got to lose?”

I still regret never getting a picture of that Hummer that routinely parking across the handicapped curb ramp at 22nd & Vicksburg all those times.

Oh yeah, speaking of which, fuck Hummers and their drivers. No qualifications.