I pit Mister Rogers!

I happened to spot him exiting a plane in Laguardia more than 20 years ago. Never have I seen an outpouring of such love and affection by so many toward one person. He handled it all magnificently, with responsiveness and decorum. I came away from the sight with one thought in mind: You do NOT take on Mister Rogers.

So, here I go:

Guys, would you have let him measure you for a pair of Bermuda shorts? (If the answer is an unequivocal “yes,” then report to the nearest locker room for a much-needed punchdown).

Gals, would you have let him alone with your kids?

Granted, the man passed a long career as a celebrity of sorts without even the faintest hint of scandal.

But as much ground as he covered (superficially) in his career, he never took on one topic: Masturbation.

You know he did it. He‘s now dead, but he was a human being, after all. He certainly plucked the magic twanger more than once. He polished his own helmet when his doughy-skinned and wholesomely unattractive wife wasn’t immediately available. We all know he did. So why did he never address this topic in his show?

People do it all the time! It’s important to them! Why would‘ve Mister Rogers, beloved of us all, decline on this most important subject?

Just wondering.

The man is dead. Leave him alone.

I don’t even want to answer you, but I simply must defend Mister Rogers. Don’t pick on him.

I certainly would not leave my kids with him, or any other celebrity. Not because I don’t trust them, but because I don’t know them! Don’t you want to at least know your babysitters first? But if the choice was Mister Rogers or nothing, yeah sure. I never got a skeezy feeling from him, and never felt he was icky towards kids in any way.

I am not going to insult you. But perhaps you do need something to do with your day, if you are sitting here pititng Mister Rogers of all people.

You are an idiot. There’s a lot more I could say…but you’re not worth the effort.

Haven’t you been banned yet?

I’ve met Mr. Rogers.

He’s a class act.

You could take a lesson.


Another drmark wankfest.
Don’t think so.