Hey parents: make up your fucking minds!! I open this thread so we can all bitch about those great humans who raised us. Of course they mean well, and in the process create so much stress as to drive us up the fucking wall. Here’s my rant:
Ok, so my car, a 1992 Bonneville in debatable condition, has been overheating. It has been determined to be a cracked head gasket. It runs fine for about half an hour, but any car trip longer than that and the whole thing heats up to about 300 degrees and starts pumping boiling antifreeze about 3 feet in the air.
I am not a car person, but according to my father this is bad. The car could blow up into a thousand flaming pieces at any moment, killing all people inside and probably all nearby school children. At least twice a day for the past week he has called me. “Did you get another car yet?” “Your car is no good, get another car!” “Why haven’t you gotten another car yet? It isn’t safe to be driving your current one.”
Now my car, the Jiggaboo Canoe as I like to call it (not quite cool enough for a pimp-mobile, not quite big enough for a full boat), has a special place in my heart. It was my first car after all. Yes, me and the JC have been together for over 7 amazing years. It has left me stranded on the side of the road no less than 5 times, has had just about everything replaced only to break again, and gets about 18 miles to the gallon. Hey, I didn’t say it was a GOOD special place in my heart. Fuck you car.
Anyway, on with my rant. I’ve been looking to buy a different car for weeks within my price range. I look through the newspaper, ebay… Here’s a 2003 Monte Carlo for $11,000, there’s a 1999 Taurus for $4,000. Cars are expensive! My budget, as much as I hate to say, is approximately as close to $0 as I can get. If I were to cash in all my CD’s and bank accounts, I’d probably have about $3,500 to my name. I’m poor and know it, let’s move on.
Lo and behold! One of my co-workers, hearing of my plight, offers me his 1997 Cavalier for only $1000. Sure, it has 198,000 miles on it, but he has kept this thing in great condition. All major parts have been replaced within the last 3 years, it has had oil changes on the mark every time, it even has working air conditioning (something my current car does not). Oh, and it handles wonderfully! After driving a vehicle with a hood the size of most parking spaces, I feel amazingly small and nimble in this thing. It even gets 33 mpg, up from my current 18mpg.
Did I mention I know a guy who wants to buy my current car? Yes, apparently there are people out there who restore Pontiac Bonnevilles to working condition, and he wants mine for parts. He is offering about $700.
So, this is an amazing deal then right? I am getting a car that handles better, is in better condition, has better mpg, and isn’t going to blow up. All for a net cost of approximately $300 plus title fees etc.
I excitedly call my parents. “Wow,” I think, “He is going to be pleased! I have finally found a car that I can afford that should get me by for another year or two.” Well, let’s just say my father’s response wasn’t warm. He thinks it is a terrible idea, in fact. In his opinion, the Cavalier has too many miles on it! It could break down at any time! It is too small! $1000 is too much! (even though the Blue Book value on it is about $1800)
He wants me to go to some dealership and get a Taurus (ugh) or a truck (fuck no) for about $4,000. Where I am supposed to get that kind of money has not yet been explained to me. Basically, he just wants me to do it his way because obviously he knows best.
Fuck! Parents can be frustrating. They nag and nag for you to fix whatever it is about your life they are concerned about, and when you make a move to fix it, apparently that isn’t good enough because it wasn’t exactly the way they wanted it done.
This would be alot easier if I didn’t love them so much. Then I could stay pissed.
