That’s a drag. I have a good friend who’s feeling the same way; she’s in her first year of school and always seems to be left behind or forgotten by folks who are her friends.
I don’t have any great advice except as others have said, try to find folks who are stuck in the same situation as you.
Your friends probably aren’t being intentionally mean, and in fact probably aren’t thinking that it matters much to you at all. I could be wrong, but a lot of people in college are exploring freedom and ‘doing their own thing,’ so their friends tend to be the last thing on their minds when they’re off to do something fun.
Maybe mention this to someone in the group with whom you’re close. If there isn’t anyone with whom you’re close, then don’t stress about this too much, and try to find people who do care about abandoning you.
It’s not that I want to go out and get wasted all the time - it’s that I’d like to actually hang out with my friends, but they go places I can’t. And Columbia has tightened their underage laws and I’d rather not get an MIP. And while all the sorority girls find their ways into bars, I don’t know how they do it and I’m not gonna try. I’d rather not get turned down and have to go home looking like an ass. And the bar that they keep going to (same one every time) is s strict 21+.
I go to a huge school, and everyone already seems to have all the friends they want/need. I’m the not the get-involved type either. I don’t make friends easily and I’m not sure why - I am sort of shy but I am very friendly and most think I’m pretty funny.
And updike - I think you need new glasses but a whole fucking lot of threads in the pit are people bitching about things other than the administration of the board and other members. So go yell at them.
This was just a thread for me to bitch and feel bad about myself, and other people to possibly revisit times in their life when they felt the same - pissed off because their friends were leaving them out. I’m not bitching because I can’t go to bars and spend all my money to get wasted. That I can wait for.
I know it sounds like something your mom would say, but join a club! Check out campus bulletin boards, find something that sounds like fun, and show up for a meeting. You hate it, you never have to go back. You like it, maybe you meet some new people!
Now see? As soon as a Mod saw the thread… Viola!.. moved. I do want to point out that my post to Updike was made while this thing was still in the Pit.
I hate to say this, but are you sure they want to hang out with you? Ditching you 4 times in 2 weeks seems a little much. It sounds to me like you need to talk to these people about this, or make some new friends.
I feel for you. I was 17 when I started college, and at the time there were a bunch of 18+ bars. All the people in the dorm would go out to party, and I’d stay home by myself. It sucked. Same thing happened when I was 20. Everyone else was 21 (I am a December baby). Even my own boyfriend who is 11 months older than me, he would go off to the bars without me.
Why are you so much younger than your friends? Do you know any people your own age?
What they did was rude and insensitive. Did you say something to them about it?
Well, Bars make money off of alcohol sales. Theoretically, a person under 21 would not be drinking alcohol, and thus, not making the bar any money. Now, most Bars don’t give a shit if you are in fact under 21. They just make it 21+ and check I.D.s to avoid losing their liquor liscense, and get paying customers into the bar instead of free loaders. If you give them something that looks reasonably valid, and shows that you are over 21 (or 19 if thats the limit), they will let you in.
I say leave an anonymous tip with the cops that three 21-yr old girls are doing a heroin dropoff at such-and-such bar at midnight. Serve those bitches right for brushing you off.
I’ve been there too, and it sucks. But I found a group of friends that willingly set aside nights at clubs (even on New Years Eve!) for a movie night, or if they did go out, would call me every 5 minutes so it was like I was there, and we’d meet up at the afterparty.
You’re bound to feel left out and lonely…it’s a horrible feeling; I remember it well.
But everyone goes through it, and having understanding friends goes a long way to improving it.
Can I inquire as to why this was moved to MPSIMS?? This seems like a perfectly valid Pit thread to me…certainly along the same lines as many I’ve read, if not better.
Sure it sucks. But that’s what people do when they turn 21. Go to bars where everyone is 21+. That’s where you want to go when your 21 right?
So is it fair to ask your friends “Don’t go to any bars till your 23 when I can go.”
That would seriously suck. Turning 21 and not going to bars with your friends because one of you is 19. Your all supposed to wait around a couple years till everyone can make it in?
Give em some free reign. They’ve been waiting to turn 21 for their whole lives just like you.
Okay, you two, now that the thread’s in MPSIMS, it’s best that you ratchet it back. I’m not giving a warning because the thread was in the Pit and I want to make sure everyone knows where it is now; however, no more sniping at each other from here on. Unless you want to yell at each other in the Pit; then, yeah, that’s dandy.
I feel your pain. I was 20 and my BF was 24 (grad student). He didn’t have a problem, but his friends sure did. <sigh>
You need to broaden your horizons a bit–try the campus health club, join a club, talk to the person next you in lecture tomorrow. Meet someone to study with, talk to the guys down doing laundry–there are many ways to meet people in college.
It’s not that they go to bars. It’s that they say they are going somewhere else - bowling, the restaurant/bar I can go to, then at the very last minute, decide to go to the 21+ bar. They are breaking plans with me to go to the bar. And they go to this bar every friggin night. If they just went all the time and told me that they were going, I wouldnt care as much. But it’s the fact that they tell me “Oh yeah we’re going to Wednesday night bowling like always” then I get off work, get ready, show up and sit there by myself for half and hour waiting on them, then finally call one of them and they say “Oh yeah we decided to go to the bar tonight.” That’s just crappy.
I honestly think the only solution is finding new friends. Friends care about their friends. Friends don’t have to sacrifice all their fun, but they are considerate and don’t make plans only to blow off people who are depending on them.
