I pit my judgemental roommate and catholic upbringing

[Liberal]

@Slithy Tove

I had a roommate in college like that. I’d known him in high school when he was self-righteously gay after he’d moved in with some chicken-hawk twice his age. Then he got out of that relationship, went off to college and denied he ever was gay. But he then took up with a Fundie Christian woman and started to preach Jesus at us other 3 roomies. We’d be hanging out, talking and he’d come in and kill the conversation by pointing out our moral errors. At first it was funny, but not too funny for too long.

(There was also the incident when he hit a skunk of the way home, so he brought it into the basement and skinned it, salted the pelt, and let it sit down there stinking up the whole house. So I can claim that our ire was not simply anti-religious)

His fag-hag (or whatever you call women who seek no-sex relationships with guys who deny they’re gay) girlfriend’s landlord made her give up her cat, so he took it in, over the protest of one of the roommates who was allergic. Pretty soon the allergic roommate couldn’t go anywhere in the house besides his own room, so we demanded that Fundie-boy post a giveaway notice on the school kiosk.

Soon the phone rang, and it was someone wanting the cat, with the proviso that it was neutered. Fundie-boy was telling her that the cat was not, at which I picked up the cat, held its ass up and yelled so that the person calling could hear “hey, look: NO BALLS!” He then hung up on her.

I yelled to him I was sick of his bullshit and stormed off to my room. He followed me and kicked open my door, demanding an explanation.

I’ve noticed over the years that Irish-Americans don’t actually throw punches but rather grab their victims and slam their heads into things. I followed this procedure for a bit, until he crawled under the kitchen table to get away from me while I kicked him in the ass as he went.

Wow, the exact same thing happened to me!

[Slithy_Tove]

Oh, it happens to everyone, complete with the skunk pelt. I was just the first to post in.

[Contrapuntal]

@Liberal

Wow, the exact same thing happened to me!

Except when you tell the story, it starts out like this – "Dear Penthouse, … "

[corkboard]

You sound awfully defensive. Maybe you’d be happier if you started attending mass.

[Maus_Magill]

Maybe it has nothing to do with your roommate’s upbringing. Maybe he’s just an asshole.

[Tomcat]

@Captain_C

I swear if I have to put up with him telling me he is praying for my soul one more time, I am going to stick his beloved jesus figurine so far up his ass he’ll be coughing wine for weeks.

Thanks for the laugh!
-Tcat

[Thudlow_Boink]

@Captain_C

I say “Yeah, but I wish they wouldn’t make it. The first 3 were so good, it has nowhere to go but down.”

For that matter, the first 3 were so good, they should quit making movies altogether. Movies have nowhere to go but down.

Fuck you catholosism, for teaching an otherwise bright individual that he is better than everyone else, and that everyone should strive to be as good as he is.

Yeah, because if it weren’t for catholosism, no otherwise bright individuals would ever be arrogant or judgmental.

Or maybe they would, and you’d have to find something else to blame it on. Like their race or ethnic background, or their home town, or what cereal they eat for breakfast.

Wow, I see why people pit now, I feel much better.

Yeah, but then they sometimes get piled on. It’s all part of the fun.

[Captain_C]

Or maybe they would, and you’d have to find something else to blame it on. Like their race or ethnic background, or their home town, or what cereal they eat for breakfast.

My point exactly! That’s why I included it in my pit post. Aren’t OP’s in the pit supposed to be illogical and have the occasional grammer/spelling mistake? (So far most have been intentionel) Or are my pit skills not up to par yet?

[Faruiza]

@fetus

Seriously though, living with a judgmental roomie can be very irritating. I suspect my roommate has sexual identity issues (that is to say, he’s deep in the closet and feels insecure in his masculinity and male attractiveness) that inform the closed-minded things he says sometimes. He’s a decently tolerant guy in general, but when I put an Eddie Izzard special on the TV he looked down at the coffee table the whole time and said “He’s funny, but I can’t look at him–it’s just disturbing”. I think he feels a subconscious need to loudly state his opposition to male femininity in order to deflect attention from (what he perceives as) his own shortcomings in achieving traditional male success.

I’d like to take this opportunity to hijack this thread and point out that Eddie is one dead sexy beast, and your roomate is obviously out of his tiny little mind. He should be done away with.
Thank you. That is all.
Oh Eddie!!

[GusNSpot]

Oh piffle, this was a mild irritation and a mild reaction to that situation.

Now, if that was a group of all Catholic young men, then you would have seen a violent reaction and he would have been read to out of the book, chained to a tree in the woods over night with ‘creatures’ circling just out of sight, and then the fun would really start when they had his attention.

Guys like that know better than to pull that shit in their own nests. You only run into the exceptionally dunderheaded ‘so called catholics’ out like that.

YMMV

[Liberal]

@Captain_C

My point exactly! That’s why I included it in my pit post. Aren’t OP’s in the pit supposed to be illogical and have the occasional grammer/spelling mistake? (So far most have been intentionel) Or are my pit skills not up to par yet?

Did you say that you have a post-graduate degree? I ask for clarification on that because someone in the Pit once said that my autodidacticism puts me at a severe academic disadvantage. I cannot, it seems, grasp the finer points of the things I’ve studied without having your sort of traditional education. Given that at this stage of my life, completion of a degree is next to impossible, is there any sort of advice or encouragement you could give me as I aspire to reach your level?

[Hostile_Dialect]

@JohnT

I’m sure his Catholic upbringing also taught him better spelling and grammar.

No, no! Catholosist upbringing! Tentacle monster god, remember?

Seriously, though…

@Thudlow Boink

Yeah, because if it weren’t for catholosism, no otherwise bright individuals would ever be arrogant or judgmental.

Don’t you think there’s any room for uber-religious upbringing to affect someone’s worldview? Psychologists have generally acknowledged since at least Freud’s time that childhood events have a major impact on the adult’s personality later.

[Sean_Factotum]

@Faruiza

I’d like to take this opportunity to hijack this thread and point out that Eddie is one dead sexy beast, and your roomate is obviously out of his tiny little mind. He should be done away with.
Thank you. That is all.
Oh Eddie!!

And I’ll see your hijack and raise you. I saw Velvet Goldmine and was amazed that Eddie Izzard was the straightest guy in the whole damn thing!

I must have noticed it because I was raised Catholic. Even was an altar boy too.

[Nancarrow]

@Liberal

And don’t even get me started on Black Jewish Lesbian Republicans who’ve had LASIK eye surgery. Apparently, they don’t know that people can see them roll their eyes now.

@JeffB

There’s more than one?

There’s one?

@Fetus

No, no! Catholosist upbringing! Tentacle monster god, remember?

Uh uh. The roommate is a CATHOLIC - he’s addicted to cathole. They deserve sympathy. Once you start snorting cathole, it’s an inevitable downward spiral. The cat gets mad, for a start.

@GusNSpot

Oh piffle, this was a mild irritation and a mild reaction to that situation.

Now, if that was a group of all Catholic young men…

Finally someone on a messageboard posts the words ‘piffle’ and ‘Catholic’ in the same post (well I’m sure it’s happened before), so I can wheel out my interesting trivioid. Here it is: I am related to this guy. Hey, it’s interesting to me
[/self-satisfied Cthulhuic]

[krisolov]

@Slithy Tove

I’ve noticed over the years that Irish-Americans don’t actually throw punches but rather grab their victims and slam their heads into things. I followed this procedure for a bit, until he crawled under the kitchen table to get away from me while I kicked him in the ass as he went.

I’d just like to pause a moment to acknowledge this beautiful bit of prose. Well done, sir. Bravo.

[Nancarrow]

Where’d that full stop go?

[gigi]

@Nancarrow

Finally someone on a messageboard posts the words ‘piffle’ and ‘Catholic’ in the same post (well I’m sure it’s happened before), so I can wheel out my interesting trivioid.

My Mom is devout Catholic and often says “piffle”. She is judgmental but not in front of other people, and not with non-Catholics.

My question is, didn’t you know this guy before agreeing to move in together??

[Anne_Neville]

@gigi

My question is, didn’t you know this guy before agreeing to move in together??

If they’re in a college dorm (and in some graduate student housing), he may have been assigned a roommate that he may not have even known and not had much of a choice. Colleges tend not to think much of your request to be reassigned if the reason you say you want a new roommate is because of your roommate’s religion, either (public colleges are very much into “no discrimination on the basis of religion”).

[Bryan_Ekers]

@Captain_C

I swear if I have to put up with him telling me he is praying for my soul one more time, I am going to stick his beloved jesus figurine so far up his ass he’ll be coughing wine for weeks.

It would have been funnier to say “stick his jesus figurine so far up his ass he’ll be coughing up thorns” but that’s okay, you’ll know for next time.

[Liberal]

No, wine is funnier really, given the amount of water retained by the human body.