I’ve become unbelievably frustrated with myself over the past few months. This is my first semester of college (and I should be studying for my Calc II final right now, but that’s neither here nor there), and living with a roommate is new to me. It’s a lot of fun, seeing as we’ve been friends since middle school, and sometimes we get pissed off at each other, but I seem to have one real problem: my language.
You see, I picked up on the habit of calling things “retarded” in middle school. I was stupid back then. I’ll readily admit to that. I listened to Eminem, thought rap was the greatest thing since sliced bread, etc. I acquired this mannerism of calling people “retarded.”
I know how hurtful it is to people who actually have disabilities, and since I realized this I’ve tried cutting down on using it, and for the most part, I’ve been good about it. But when I moved in to my dorm this semester, I realized how much it hurt my roommate every time I used the word. You see, his baby brother has PDD. So every time I use the word, I hurt him, I degrade his family, and I deride his little brother. So I try to stop. And yet every now and then, I slip.
I’m pitting myself now for not having the foresight to catch myself before I say it, and stamping it out of my vocabulary.
It’s hard to cut something you’re so used to completely out of your vocabulary. It’s also all to easy to pick up stuff like that from being around people who use it in school. I applaud your effort to fix it.
You might want to sit down the roommate and be like, “Look, I know this is offensive to you. I really, honestly do respect you and your family, and I’m sorry that I use language that is so offensive. I’m trying really hard to fix it.” If he knows you’re trying to make an effort, it’s better than him thinking you’re being offensive and not caring. You, of course, should continue your effort to not use that sort of adjective. 
Congratulations on the end of your first college semester, by the way!
Right on, monica.
And I assure you, the habit will die.
One thing I’ve heard you can do, if you really want to break a language habit, is to give a non-trivial amount of money to a group you loathe (for a pro-choice liberal like me, it might be a group like Operation Rescue or Focus on the Family) every time you say the thing you don’t want to say.
Or you could make a donation to a group that helps the people who your words insult- a charity that works with mentally disabled people in your case. If you were trying to break yourself of saying “that’s gay” to mean “that’s bad”, you might donate to a gay-rights group.
Everytime you say ‘retarded’, put a penny in a jar. Soon, the jar will be heavy with pennies, and your room-mate can hit you with it. You will soon learn to stop after the first few hittings.
I find your technique interesting and would like to subscribe to an illustrated magazine version of your world view.
Good for you for being more sensitive about your word usage. That sort of language is totally gay.
You need to come up with a different word that means the same thing to you, and replace “retarded” with that word. Try to say it enough to make it catch on!
My brother lived in a house full of guys where one of the guys had a mentally retarded brother. Their exchange word for “retarded” was “new” as in:
“What are you, retarded?” --> “What are you, new?”
It’s funny if you if you then put it where other instances of retarded should be:
“That is so retarded” --> “That is so new.”
Try it! It’s fun!
Wow, you are evil. That is one hell of a punishment.
Rubber band. Wrist. SNAP!
Changing your speaking, grammar, and word-choice habits in your native language is much, much easier than learning a foreign language.
Just ask Eliza Doolittle.
Totally. And don’t listen to the people in this thread who tell you to put pennies in a jar or some shit like that. They’re just trying to jew you.
I have a habit of saying “Good God!” as an expletive. I say it a lot. I didn’t realize how much I said it until I started going to church again. I see a lot of people wincing.
It’s really cool that you are trying to change your habit. Your efforts are worthwhile.
Just do what the Black-Eyes Peas did and call people “it started” instead. It makes no sense without “let’s get” in front of it, but who cares?