Recently, I’ve been seeing “retarded” pop up (both here and IRL) more often than usual as a way to describe doing something stupid. I’ve always thought (and still do think) that this is a fairly offensive (or at least thoughtless use of the word.) Am I just too sensitive? I grew up fairly close to a retarded boy and would never have dreamed of using that word in that context around him or his family. I guess that’s why I feel this way. What do you guys think?
Thanks!
There were several retarded children in my hometown. We called them, ourselves, and everyone else who did something stupid “retarded”. “That’s retarded”, “You’re retarded”, “I’m a retard”. Nobody ever had a problem with it, not even the retarded kids or their brothers and sisters. Ricky the Retard (one of the retarded kids in town) actually answered to that name. It’s just a word, and he didn’t let it get him down. We included him in everything we did, so he knew we liked him. I don’t see why people get so up in arms about words these days.
Now, we never called John the wheelchair kid anything but John, but that was because he could kick our asses. Well, he couldn’t literally kick our asses because he couldn’t move his legs, but he could beat up anyone in town.
I used to use this term quite liberally (not around the mentally handicapped, of course) until it became controversial. The fact that it is seen as offensive annoys me to no end, because it’s a great word for communicating a specific sense of irritation and irreverence. Like many words that people get all huffy about, it has transcended its original meaning to imply something totally unrelated to mentally handicapped people. I lived with someone who got all offended about it because she has a mentally handicapped aunt. Yeah okay, and I have a schizophrenic uncle, but I don’t freak out every time someone makes fun of crazy people, or have a shit-fit every time a comic jokes about something I don’t find particularly funny due to my own experience with it. Whenever I hear someone use the word I just feel a little resentful that I can’t do it myself without feeling guilty.
In my personal opinion people need to lighten the fuck up. Words are beautiful, colorful creatures with so much potential and power. There’s a time and a place for everything, the trick is figuring out when and where.
I see the term here more often now. I do not like it and avoid it.
I must admit I use it quite a bit. But then again, I would never call a mentally disabled person ‘retarded’ (and I’ve known quite a few).
Doing that is totally gay. 
Question for people who think retard/retarded is offensive- do you feel the same about moron and idiot? Because there are specific IQ based definitions for both of these as well, and there are people in the world who are literally morons and idiots, so when you use these, you are doing the exact same thing you do with retard.
This is an excellent point, and I’m going to try and answer it from my perspective - actually, I don’t think it’s the exact same thing. While technically I suppose it is, it doesn’t “feel” the same - calling someone a retard seems far more offensive to me - and no, I can’t explain why.
I had always thought the the use of the terms Moron and Idiot as technical terms related to “measurable” criteria had been discontinued in favor of other more impressive-sounding terms.
When I was a kid, my Mom was a volunteer for a group called FARR - “Friends and Relatives of the Retarded.” And even back then, to call them “retards” was offensive. It seems as though the word retarded is no longer an “official designator” for the condition. Anyway, I don’t use it casually.
Maybe in a generation it’ll be as innocuous and only generally-offensive as “moron” and “idiot”.
I think part of the offense comes from uses which equate “retarded” to “stupid.”
My older brother volunteered frequently with a Retarded Citizens group when he was in high school. When a friend of mine was tossing around the word “retard” in his hearing, my brother said gently, “I work with them; they’re a lot smarter than most people think.”
Yeah, they are a bit archaic, so maybe there needs to be a new clinical term for retarded, then it won’t be an issue any longer 
In what situations would you feel the need to call someone a retard, a moron, or an idiot? The use of any of these in any situation - apart from conversation with a very trusted accomplice like your SO or good friend - is going to make you seem like the retard, the idiot, or the moron.
Would I use these words at work? No.
Would I use these words in a public setting? No.
Would I use these words speaking privately at home or under the cone of silence? Maybe. But not in front of the kids.
[Gil Grissom]
The word retard means to slow down or inhibit.
Your life is about to get seriously retarded.
[/GG]
[Michael Scott] You don’t call retarded people “retards”. That would be in bad taste. You call your friends “retards” when they’re acting retarded. [/Michael Scott]
I work with MR people too and I still use the word to refer to non-MR people sometimes. I just think there’s something satisfying about that word that no other word quite has. I also use “gay” to mean “lame” from time to time.
I use it all the time. Just today in fact, talking with a co-worker. It’s very common in Massachusetts where I grew up, so that could be why. I’ve used it here in Florida though, and haven’t come across any negative reactions.
I take it you’ve never played Mario Kart with friends.
Retarded is a descriptive word and you can’t stop using words because people think it impolite to point out a person fits that description. It is very impolite to mock a person with descriptive words like retard retard retard, but that is an immature person being childish.
I’m pretty free with my language, but “retard” is a word that really makes me cringe, for whatever reason, and I do my best to avoid it.
Me, too.
I had it temporarily filed as “un-PC” as a young adult, until I had a (hillarious and awesome) boss who had a 32 year old son with Down’s Syndrome who used the word as liberally as in the paragraph above, including to and about her son, yet was the most amazing mom to him, even as an adult. She didn’t act like he was unfortunate, or a burden or nuisance or that his condition was sad or to be pitied. I figure, if I don’t mean any offense by it, and they don’t mean any offense, or take any, then I’m not going to be all het up about it.
I started a thread about the word a while back.