I Pit My Nasty Vile Harebrained Husband

The BBQ Pit
1

About a week ago, my husband went to the store, and purchased (among other things) a couple of gallons of milk. One had a defective handle and exploded all over the downstairs rug. He called me at work to ask what to do. I told him to soak it up with a towel and to call a rug professional for advice. He did.

For a week now, I have been smelling something most vile in our upstairs hall. My husband insisted, INSISTED, it was the downstairs rug where the milk had spilled. I argued that the rug would smell bad, and it did not. He claimed the odor “wafted”. Then he blamed the diper pail. Then he blamed the cat.

He & the baby are currently away for a few days visiting my in-laws. The diaper pail is empty.

THE SMELL REMAINS.

IT IS NOT THE CAT.

GUESS WHAT I JUST DISCOVERED HIDDEN AWAY AT THE BOTTOM OF A LAUNDRY BAG? ONE OF MY BRAND NEW TOWELS. COVERED.IN.MOLD. MOLD FROM MILK.

My husband is hereby a harebrained foul beast of a man for using a BRAND NEW NEVER USED towel to clean it up, instead of one of the ones we recently replaced, which are not even fit for using on dogs or mother-in-laws, and LEAVING IT TO ROT HIDDEN AWAY FOR A WEEK.

YOU STUPID VILE DUMBASS.

YOU MORONIC PLAGUE-BRINGER.

YOU ARE THE DEVIL.

I am very tempted to slip the remains of the towel into his pillowcase. I am also willing to give him away to anyone who wants him. I will even pay for shipping. No tag-backs, though.

:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

2

put it in the trunk of his car.

3

We share a car. And it is currently with him. But I like the way you think.

He punished himself though by leaving his favorite shirt in the bag with the towel. Guess what suffered a smelly moldy death as well?

4

Hey, at least he took Tinkleberry off, leaving you a few days of peace. That’s got to be worth something, right?

not that much, though, right?

5

Its a fucking towel for crying out loud. Relax.

6

I wouldn’t mind a few days alone with my kid.

7

And a shirt.
And our savings (twice).
And car payments.
And a chair.
And multiple college tuitions.
And 5 or 6 jobs.

There’s bipolar, and then there’s just jackass.

8

All of that ruined by one defective milk jug?

9

Unfortunately, no. That would likely be funny.

10

Wait…

You lived with the stench of rotting milk for a week w/o getting to the bottom of it and determining the source? You prefered to (knowingly?) live with a lie for a week than finding out what was causing the stench?

A week?

It never occurred to ask “what did dipshit do with the towel?”

An entire week???

11

I don’t see how. Sure would be one awesome gallon of milk, though.

12

…and then there’s excoriating your husband on a public forum that you both belong to and frequently participate in.

Sam

13

Dipshit maintained he did not use a towel at all, just the powder absorber the rug people had suggested. Hence, I did not ask where he put the towel.

2 days later came the diper pail bleaching.

Followed by the cat pan bleaching.

Followed by the rug chemical-cleaning.

Followed by a lot of yelling by me to find the fucking stench.

Followed by insistence by dipshit that I had a hypersensitive nose due to pregnancy. Promptly followed by me calling him a liar, and insisting he find the fucking smell. And rent a steam cleaner.

Followed by a 12 hour day at work today.

Followed by me opening the laundry bag of doom. Followed by me coming to the conclusion that dipshit had lied about using a towel, and that he didn’t have the sense god gave geese.

Followed by sweet sweet relief after removal of nasty shit.

You have to realize that the house is wide open during the day, and only at night are the windows closed. So when I come home, the smell appears to be gone. I assume dipshit has fixed the problem. By morning it is back. I leave for work, insisting he clean the damn rug, and that odors do not waft up stairs yet not smell at the source. I come home, house better. I give kid dinner, a bath, kid goes to bed. 2 hours later, windows get closed and we go to sleep. In the morning, smell appears, but is a whiff I catch going down the stairs. Every day I’d leave it to him to fix. Every night I would come home, and it would appear it was. Then it would return. Rinse, lather, repeat.

Today was different though. Today, the windows were closed because no one was home. This allowed for concentration of the odor, enough so that it wasn’t the errant whiff, and enough to be distinctly tracked to the source.

14

Ah, bipolar, I know it well.

Once when my sister lived with me, I observed her putting dirty clothes in the washer. I nonchanlantly checked with her, “Hey … did you happen to put my wet clothes in the dryer?” … "Sure … they’re almost thru " … I look. Two towels. TWO TOWELS. I swear upon my mother’s grave, I DO not waste water and electricity to wash and dry TWO TOWELS. So. I prod Sis again. “Um… are you sure? There’s not some wet clothes in here?” Sis huffily stuffs her things in the washer. “Of course I"m sure! I"m not stupid !!” “Um … mind if I look? …”

Sure enuf, my entire wet load was UNDER her dirty stuff. I honestly think she didn’t see it.

My hat’s off to ya Inkleberry, for being able to live with it. My sis now has a hubby who timidly called the other day “90 … uh… have y’all got a plumber’s snake?” “what now?!” “Um… I think your sister stopped up the toilet…”

:wink:

15

Is it a pretty towel?

16

[kittyberry]So now I get bleached because he wouldn’t let me lick up the spilled milk. Stupid human logic.[/kittyberry]

17

I’m with you. Seriously, WTF?

Do you not know how to use a phone, inkleberry?

18

Sorry, but that line just strikes me as incredibly funny.

Husband: “Hi. Yeah. Look, I spilled milk on the rug. What the hell do I do?”

Rug Professional: “You called the right man. I did my thesis on dairy spills at Carpet State. Based on my knowledge and experience, I can confidently say that the best thing to do in such a situation would be to clean the rug.”

Husband: “Look, I’m not a damned scientist! You need to break your ivory-tower technobabble down into something normal people can understand!”

RP: “Just clean the carpet.”

Husband: “With what?”

RP: “Carpet cleaner.”

Husband: “Oh.”

19

I’m not defending your husband but why did you buy new towels that can’t be washed?

Let me guess,. he bought them.

:smiley:

20

He threw them in the hamper where mold ensued. Had he washed them, there wouldn’t be a problem. He’s a dweeb alright.