Poo issue - TMI and downright gross

In My Humble Opinion
1

Dear Dopers

I need some anonymous opinions because this isn’t something I want to bring up with friends.

My husband frequently leaves ‘residue’ in the toilet after he’s done a poo. I clean it up because I can’t stand it, and I certainly wouldn’t want to subject unsuspecting visitors to such a sight. Now, I’m always very conscientious about the state of the toilet once I’m finished, and I really don’t understand how anyone wouldn’t want to show similar consideration.

I’ve mentioned it before to my husband when he’s left a mess, and he invariably replies with something along the lines of ‘Oh, did I?’. So this morning, when I’m at my most delicate, there it was again, and so I said ‘Are you not aware when you’ve left shit in the toilet?’ (Okay, so maybe I was just a bit snarky, but I’ve pretty much had it up to here with this issue.) And he got really angry and said that yes, in fact, he was aware, but that he’d just assumed that it would ‘drop off’. Now, shit doesn’t ‘drop off’, it sticks. Maybe he thinks it drops off because I’ve always come along and scrubbed it off? And anyway, even if it did drop off, IT WOULD STILL BE THERE, FLOATING IN THE WATER!

Anyway he then left for work in a huff without even saying goodbye. So now I’m trying to decide if I’m being unreasonable and should just be prepared to continue cleaning his shit off the toilet. Or should he be responsible for his own shit and be more considerate of others? I’m leaning towards the latter, but then I would, wouldn’t I?

Oh, and it’s not as though I’m home all day, free to clean toilets at my leisure. I work full time too. And even if I was home all day, while I don’t mind cleaning, I really do think one’s own shit is one’s own responsibility.

Your opinions, please.

2

We have a very modern styled toilet in our rented house. It’s very badly designed which results in the same problem you’re experiencing. I do find, however, that it does start to come off with additional flushes, although rarely completely.

Personally, I clean it every couple of days. If we were going to have visitors around, I’d give it a quick clean beforehand. If visitors dropped by unexpectedly, I’d find the opportunity to pop to the bathroom and give it a quick clean.

It doesn’t really gross me out, to be honest. It’s just poo.

3

I’m not sure I understand the issue. While reading your OP, I envisioned a number of scenarios, all of which I have myself, shall we say, created at one time or another.

Is it:

A) A violent splash-up, which leaves shit on the bottom of the seat or rim?
B) A clinger, which latches itself to the part of the porcelain not submerged underwater?
C) A rogue turd which meanders around the pond?
D) Varying degrees of skidmarks/stains left along the bottom of the bowl?
E) Floating specks of roughage left scattered around the porcelain and floating in the drink?
F) At times, all (or several) of the above?
G) None of the above?
I would like to offer some help, but I’m afraid I need some more specific details. Would a photograph be out of the question? Maybe a nice charcoal or watercolor rendering?

Please advise.

4

Chill out and flush.

People have hwaaaay different bathroom taboos. Neither of you are wrong- or right. It’s just a difference. Just accept that, and move on.

5

[QUOTE=DrDeth]
Chill out and flush.

People have hwaaaay different bathroom taboos. Neither of you are wrong- or right. It’s just a difference. Just accept that, and move on.
[/QUOTE]

Well, I could do with a charcoal rendering, myself. Depends on the state of the toilet, and I could certainly argue that one of them is right.

If it’s a clinger, or a floater, don’t leave that for the next person. A bit of slightly muddied water, with no actual turds, not such a big deal (unless company’s over). It sounds like a turd stuck to the porcelain, which is, IMO, completely unacceptable.

The problem is, Lagavulin has asked her husband to clean up after himself, but he won’t. It’s a matter of consideration and respect for your spouse. I had a similar problem with an ex, where, through some strange method of wiping, he’d smear shit on the underside of the lid. And guess who invariably cleaned the toilet just so it would get done (correctly)? That’s right, me.

It’s shit, people, not a little sand tracked into the foyer, or a pile of dirty clothes on the bedroom floor- both irritating and unaccaptable, as well… but.. -this is shit we’re talking about. Clean it up.

[sub]Same goes for wayward urine you uncivilized bastards[/sub].

:wink:

6

[QUOTE=RedRosesForMe]
. It sounds like a turd stuck to the porcelain, which is, IMO, completely unacceptable.

The problem is, Lagavulin has asked her husband to clean up after himself, but he won’t. It’s a matter of consideration and respect for your spouse.

It’s shit, people, …
:wink:
[/QUOTE]

Yes, IMO. Everyone has different bathroom taboos.

And he has asked her to chill put and don’t worry about it, I’ll bet. So where is her consideration for his taboos?

Yes, it is shit, and it is in the toilet, where it belongs.

Bathroom taboos are learned and hardwired at an early age. They can not easily be changed. You have to just understand this and move on.

7

Are we talking about the turd-dragging trails that one gets when the toilet is flushed? That’s just poo. It doesn’t mean he loves you any less.

It’s not like it doesn’t happen to everyone, and at least he’s not at the zoo, flinging his fudge dragons back at the monkeys in the cage.

I’m very meh about it, but I can see how the female counterpart could complain about it. It’s about as silly as the entire “toilet seat? up or down?” or “toilet paper? facing in or out?” debates.

Next time, compliment his pattern or amount of streaks. I’m almost serious, just to see what he’d say. (Chances are, he’d see what alien replaced his wife, then he’d start laughing about it. After that, when the ive is broken, you can perhaps approach him about at least paying a little more attention to the matter.) The point it is that, for him, it’s not a big deal. The truth is, it’s not really a big deal. It’s a little hang-up at its worst, and certainly nothing to cause marital strife over.

8

[QUOTE=Lagavulin]
Dear Dopers

I need some anonymous opinions because this isn’t something I want to bring up with friends.

My husband frequently leaves ‘residue’ in the toilet after he’s done a poo. I clean it up because I can’t stand it, and I certainly wouldn’t want to subject unsuspecting visitors to such a sight. Now, I’m always very conscientious about the state of the toilet once I’m finished, and I really don’t understand how anyone wouldn’t want to show similar consideration.

I’ve mentioned it before to my husband when he’s left a mess, and he invariably replies with something along the lines of ‘Oh, did I?’. So this morning, when I’m at my most delicate, there it was again, and so I said ‘Are you not aware when you’ve left shit in the toilet?’ (Okay, so maybe I was just a bit snarky, but I’ve pretty much had it up to here with this issue.) And he got really angry and said that yes, in fact, he was aware, but that he’d just assumed that it would ‘drop off’. Now, shit doesn’t ‘drop off’, it sticks. Maybe he thinks it drops off because I’ve always come along and scrubbed it off? And anyway, even if it did drop off, IT WOULD STILL BE THERE, FLOATING IN THE WATER!

Anyway he then left for work in a huff without even saying goodbye. So now I’m trying to decide if I’m being unreasonable and should just be prepared to continue cleaning his shit off the toilet. Or should he be responsible for his own shit and be more considerate of others? I’m leaning towards the latter, but then I would, wouldn’t I?

Oh, and it’s not as though I’m home all day, free to clean toilets at my leisure. I work full time too. And even if I was home all day, while I don’t mind cleaning, I really do think one’s own shit is one’s own responsibility.

Your opinions, please.
[/QUOTE]
Our household is plagued by this brand of inconsiderate behavior, as well. The standard answer is, “Why would I look in the toilet afterwards? It’s shit!”

The thing is, a second (or possibly third) flush takes care of the problem. I know, because I won’t scrub the toilet for each individual infraction. I flush and it disappears. A half-hearted attempt at (pardon the pun) *giving a shit * would remedy the problem.

Filthy curs…that’s what they are.

9

[QUOTE=DrDeth]

Yes, it is shit, and it is in the toilet, where it belongs.

[/QUOTE]

Ewwwww!
:smiley:

10

I misread it as “on the toilet” (which I’ve seen in public bathrooms…insert pukey smiley here). “In the toilet” rates a “meh” from me, not “downright gross”.

11

I’ve pretty much adjusted to automatically giving the toilet an extra flush after he’s been in there. Not because I’m revolted by it or anything, I just figure if I don’t have to look at the extra poo I might as well not, and plus, what if the dog drinks out of it or something?
Amongst marital issues, this one’s a “meh” for me, too. But then, it’s primarily an E) on the Happy spectrum of poo residue. If I had to manually wipe poo off surfaces I might feel differently about it.

12

YAY a poo thread!

13

I’m with Lagavulin – while I realize people have different bathroom habits, the baseline in a shared living situation should be that you leave the toilet free of any visible signs of use. That is the line between right and wrong.

I agree that in my toilet-cleaning experience, frequently the poo trail can be corrected after two or three additional flushings, especially if one lets it sit for a brief while (perhaps while you are doing other bathroom tasks) between flushes. This might not be true if Mr. Lagavulin has particularly sticky poop, but in the name of science the OP could do a little experiment to see if that works.

If so, you could put it to Mr. Lagavulin that 1. yes, he is correct in his belief that it will eventually come away without direct intervention after 2 - 3 flushings, and 2. THEREFORE, it is Mr. Lagavulin’s responsibility to check back in with the toilet 2 - 3 times during his morning routine. So it could be like: 1. Poo. 2. Flush. 3. Shower. 4. Flush. 5. Shave. 6. Flush.

14

I’m a little confused by the description as well. Is dude leaving bomb fragments in the can, or is it a case of “skid marks” left behind a particularly lengthy discharge? (I can’t believe I just wrote that.)

I drop one of those blue 2000 Flushes bricks in the tank and it actually keeps the lavvy fairly clean. Maybe that would help. If it’s “fragments,” then that’s just gross. You flush until it all goes down! I wouldn’t endorse this for aesthetic purposes, though. It doesn’t seem like a wise use of water to flush to get rid of a stain.

I have no idea why the industry standard is brilliant white for commodes. Seems that we’d all be a lot happier if they weren’t.

15

[QUOTE=RedRosesForMe]

The problem is, Lagavulin has asked her husband to clean up after himself, but he won’t.
[/QUOTE]

Has she? I didn’t see that in the OP. What I saw in the OP was that she’s “mentioned it before to my husband when he’s left a mess,” and this morning nastily asked him “Are you not aware when you’ve left shit in the toilet?”

Now, this might sound nitpicky, but my husband pulls this crap (no pun intended) all the time, and it gets my hackles up like no one’s business. And I get very, very literal about it in retaliation. If you want me to clean something, then ask, nicely, that I clean something. Otherwise, I’ll answer exactly what you asked: “Are you not aware when you’ve left shit in the toilet?” “Why, yes, yes I am aware.” Childish? Sure. But it’s a button installed early on in my programming, and no one knows how to push it like my husband.

Know what works a lot better? Telling me, when I have time to listen and we’re not groggy and sniping at each other, exactly what it is you need from me. Don’t list my faults or make me out to be a bad guy, but say, “This isn’t working for me, I need you to remove all the shit from the toilet bowl before I get up. I’ve found that two flushes and a quick swipe with the toilet brush get rid of it. Would you be willing to do that each time you have a bowel movement?” And then LISTEN TO THE ANSWER.

Who knows, maybe his mother beat him with a toilet brush, or he has a hair trigger gag reflex, or he’s got some other reason he can’t bring himself to do it. More likely, though, he just thinks she’s being a bitch. Being calm and asking him to do a specific thing makes it more apparent that this is an actual legitimate need she has, not one more damned thing she’s complaining about because she’s not happy unless she’s bitching.

16

Just out of curiosity… does his car have racing stripes?

17

[QUOTE=lieu]
Just out of curiosity… does his car have racing stripes?
[/QUOTE]

We missed you, darlin’…what took you so long?

18

This should be addressed and he should clean up after himself. You are doing the right thing by bringing it up now. Not bringing it up will consign you to a lifetime of cleaning up his yucky mess and being mad about it.

19

Dude. You are responsible, at all times, for your own poo. Maybe you embarrassed him this morning or something - sometimes I get defensive like that if I feel “ambushed” in the morning or a bit embarrassed or something. But if he won’t clean his own poop up, yeah, I’d be a little mad.

Unless it’s just, you know, a little skid or a flake or two that comes back up - that’s not as big a deal. But if we’re talking actual nuggets, bust his ass.

20

Toilets are not prohibitively expensive or difficult to replace. There is a toilet with a design that will solve this problem for you. It’s shape of bowl, force of water swirl, sort of issue. Go to a shop, maybe when it’s slow in the afternoon, find a friendly face, make your apologies and confess your problem with the husbands results. I promise they will not be shocked or appalled. And they will be able to solve your specific problem. A plumber will be able to make the switch in less than a hour most likely.

Marital bliss will return to your abode.