To make this as summarized as possible, I have an unfulfilling job which pays well. This means I am bored at work and have a surpluss of money. I also have a weak will. All this combined means I am fueling a drinking habit.
I feel I’d be better off with a less-well-paid job in which I am active. Like the one I had previously. I have half a mind to demote myself to such a job, but my stupid psychologically inevitable fear of disappointing my successful parents and grandparents who are/were much more organised and motivated than me stops me from accepting this choice. Bugger arse bollock sausage poo foob. I wish life were easier.
I reckon, either you take charge of what you want out of life, or you may end up in worse straits due to the drinking at least if you don’t.
That feeling that you have to live your life because of what others expect, Lobsang – it ain’t healthy.
Ahhh… you have my empathy my friend. The demon drink is a cuddly companion to be sure, but ultimately a debillitating one too.
The trick in life, it seems to me, is to find a form of pleasure which inspires you to get up really early in the morning. Perhaps a sport. Perhaps a social gathering of some sort. Whatever, when you’re in that zone, you tend to switch off the desire to hit the plonk at night because you’re looking forward to getting up early and hanging out with your new friends instead. And by extension, you give up drinking. The mind switches from looking forward “to tonight” to “tomorrow morning” instead.
What job would be fulfilling to a completely sane person?
I can’t fathom a job that will completely fulfill me. I see all that shit as a means to an end. Obviously that’s a subjective opinion.
Would it help if you planned out an early retirement scheme that required you to invest too much money to allow you to drink?
On the other hand, you have free time - what would your ideal job be? What would you almost pay to be able to do?
IANAD, yet it sounds as though you have a handful of individual issues which taken together are feeling overwhelming. Been there-as have many others.
My 2 cents of wisdom is to take advantage of the income from your nonfullfilling position, and invest in yourself via time with a qualified professional to discuss your relationship with John Barleycorn, and with your family.
Sort these out first, and then deal with all of the other stuff. Good luck, Sir.
I don’t know, Lobsang. If you are really drinking more than you intend, and you drink when you don’t even sound like you want to be drinking, I don’t think a change in jobs alone will help you with the problem. Today, you drink because your job is unfulfilling. You get another job that pays less, and you could end up drinking because people aren’t treating you with respect because you have a pissant, poor paying job. It sounds to me like you are saying, “If I only didn’t have the money for the booze, I wouldn’t get drunk.” It doesn’t really work that way. There will always be something in your life that you can use as an excuse to tilt back the bottle.
The only way you are going to stop drinking is if you stop drinking. The only way you will stop drinking is if you don’t drink when you feel like it. It sounds really simplistic because it is. However, the execution is the bitch. That’s why there are support groups for this sort of thing, and it might be worth you looking into it.
Just a thought.
I am in a position that has much responsibility and little authority. It sucks at times but gives me ample time to do things like read the Straight Dope. I work 5 weeks in a row in a compound in the middle of the desert. It can’t get much suckier than that. Everytime I think I can’t take anymore shit, I think of a quote from my father. He was an expat high up in the Hong Kong government who was demoted in title after the transition to China. “You can give me a mop and bucket and then call me the Janitor as long as you keep paying me the same”.
Keep it in perspective, “You work to live, not live to work”. If your job sucks then either fix it, or realize that it pays the bills for things that you actually want to do when you are at home.
I’ve discovered an effective solution to the problem of having so much extra money that you have the financial resources to support a drinking problem.
Send the extra money to me.
When you find something else to do with the extra money (other thatn buy liquor), stop sending it to me.
Meanwhile, here’s my address . . .
What Uzi said.
You live with your folks don’t you, Lobsang?
If so, the number one way you can reduce the amount of money you spend on beer is to move out into your own place.
After paying your rent/morgage, council tax, water bill, gas bill and leccy bill - not forgetting the cost of decorating, furnishing and moving in to the place - you won’t have any beer money left.
Move out, change jobs, go back to uni…
do anything but start up pit threads every time you break a nail and you may notice your quality of life improve.
I solve that problem by working in a bar. That way I can drink at work, and have zero desire to drink when I’m not at work. 
“This is the worst problem I’ve ever had! Just the worst!” — Marsha Brady
i can definately relate. i’ve been working the same job for 4 years now, hoping for a promotion (which i have received in title only, same work). the hours are horrendeous, but it pays well, and since i am the only one in the household with a regular, dependable job, i can’t afford to take a lesser paying job.
but, going home at night sucks. so i try to avoid it. i am full of resentment that i have to work this job and come home to a mess. then i get berated for not coming straight home. which makes me want to leave. its a cycle. a self destructive cycle that i really don’t see changing since what needs to be changed is not in my control, and i am the only one that sees the need for change. i mean, i pay all the bills, so why should he have to do anything? never mind that my doc threatened to put me on disability if i don’t find a job with more normal hours.
i could continue, but i have alienated myself from most people i know when i do this. guess i’ll have to stick with drowning my sorrows.
Lobsang, based on what I remember of your other posts, I don’t think you are on your way to perdition, arm-in-arm with Demon Rum. Rather, you are simply suffering from the ennui of being exiled on a remote isle. Blessed though it might be with tail-less cats whose back legs are too long, it is regrettably short on the amenities which you hold dear, notably pickup football games.
I can’t think of anything better for you than to be rescued from the Isle; that is, rescue yourself and get back to England (or wherever). How feasible would that be? How difficult is it to find a suitable job for yourself? My guess is that it’s not so much the kind of work you do as the fact that you’re stuck in Man. One good thing about living with the parents is that you can save up a bankroll to move away on.
Meanwhile, how to moderate your drinking? I’m not going to agree with those who automatically say you should seek counselling, join AA, or whatever. How and where do you do your drinking? It helps if the pub is a moderate walking distance away; you have less time to drink and the walk helps burn off some of the alcohol. Not to mention avoiding driving a car under the influence.
Let’s let the tale begin here, the tale that will describe your epic flight from the Land Where The Cats Walk Funny to more congenial regions.
Liberal, you can be a funny dude, a real funny dude. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel the sting of your lash but if I do I hope I remember your sense of humor. I like it.
Poor thing. You know, some of us are stuck in boring, unfulfilling jobs that don’t pay well. If you really think you’re developing a drinking problem, get help. Otherwise, take steps to change your life if it’s unbearably boring, and be thankful that that’s the worst problem you have.
Yeah. I’ve heard a lot of folks bitch about having tons of money and still being unhappy. And then I thinks to myself, “Well then, hook me up so I’m not in the red every month and we’ll both be good to go.”
Just a guess: it doesn’t work that way. I know folks who are broke & happy and I know people who are solvent and happy. Suggests to me that money isn’t any more relevant to the equation than the relative shade of that light portion of your fingernails. Root of the problem seems to be in one’s ability to find meaning in one’s continued respiration. Drinking kills time while time kills you. No different from driving furiously because you’re bored.
**Lobsang ** sounds horribly bored to me, that’s all. Me? I get pretty damned excited when the utility bill comes in because I get to go through some mental gymnastics to figure out how to pay the damned thing. No such challenge for our man on the island of misshapen cats. If I knew him from Adam I’d suggest he grab some cash and go on walkabout (off island, of course) and figure out first of all “Who Lobsang is” and then “What Lobsang wants.” Assuming he can reconcile any other responsibilities he might have. What situation would fit your personality? Dude, you get one pass at life. If you don’t need to be unhappy, then don’t be.
And as for jujuju You sound liek me…except I think you’re one of those “V” people. I finally chose to quit whining & wining and address lifestyle issues head on; making attitudinal, behavioral & logistacal changes as appropriate. “If there’s someone you can live without, then do so.”
From one of the great thinkers of the 20th century:
"Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it. "
-David Lee Roth