I pit people who fart at will in restrooms

[Alice_The_Goon]

@Punoqllads

Tell him that’s not the rose, that’s the fertilizer.

But I want him to grow up and tell people that his mother’s farts smelled like roses. Telling him the truth would ruin that for me.

[Q.E.D]

A fart by any other name…

[Marley23]

Seriously, Two and a Half- are you even trying? 'Cause you don’t have to feel obligated to start these threads.

[Cat_Whisperer]

@Scarlett67

Here I sit, brokenhearted
Tried to shit
But only farted

Alternate version:
Here I sit, broken-hearted,
Paid my dime
And only farted
Next time I think I’ll take a chance
Save my dime and shit my pants.

A little blast from the past for kids who may never have seen pay toilets.

[Hockey_Monkey]

@Marley23

Seriously, Two and a Half- are you even trying? 'Cause you don’t have to feel obligated to start these threads.

But it’s the best laugh I’ve had all day!

The guys I work with…well, will walk up to one another and fart in each other’s faces. :rolleyes:

I just do it in my office and hope no one walks in. If they do, it’s their own fault, not mine.

[danceswithcats]

Guys named Will, and the people who fart at him.
Next on Maury.

[Q.E.D]

“We shall go on to the end, we shall fart in France, we shall fart on the seas and oceans, we shall fart with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fart on the beaches, we shall fart on the landing grounds, we shall fart in the fields and in the streets, we shall fart in the hills; we shall never surrender…”

• Winston “Rip” Churchill.

[Merhouse]

@Two and a Half Inches of Fun

If they have to fart in public, it should be done as quietly as possible.

You think they smell NOW? Just wait till they take your advice and go Silent But Deadly.

[FoieGrasIsEvil]

@Two and a Half Inches of Fun

Outside (and away from others); or in a private restroom; or their homes.

If they have to fart in public, it should be done as quietly as possible.

Yes, exactly! Especially in crowded elevators!

[Duckster]

“I don’t wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”

– Monty Python and the Holy Grail

[Rhubarb]

@Scarlett67

Here I sit, brokenhearted
Tried to shit
But only farted

Then it happened,
Just by chance.
Tried to fart
And shit my pants.

[Who_me_1]

Hey, if I fart in a public restroom and there’s no one there to hear it…

Does it still have an odor?

[tnetennba]

So deaf people can enjoy them too!

Wait, wrong question.

[glee]

@Who_me?

Hey, if I fart in a public restroom and there’s no one there to hear it…

Does it still have an odor?

If a nearby tree falls, you can assume there was. :eek:

[chowder]

2½"…You do realise that if you’re in a public restroom (aka bog) and there is an overpowering stench of rotting stuff, namely shit, if you take a deep breath it will vanish.

You are then leaving the place nice and odour free for the next patron.

Just remember to nip back now and again to check if further inhalations are required.

It has to be said I never expected to see you again, ah well, ces’t la vie

[Dung_Beetle]

@brownie55

Where do I find me one of these public farting women. I’d be so less likely to get the looks I do now if I was with one of you.

Oh yes you would. BRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrT! hewww

[Muffin]

2.5 – the SDMB’s very own lingering fart who just wafted back onto the boards.

[Skywatcher]

@Marley23

I’ve heard of going out with a bang, but this isn’t it. :smack:

Yeah, more like a Bronx cheer.

[Really_Not_All_That_Bright]

@jtgain

So, while sitting on a public restroom toilet, it is okay to expel fecal matter out of your rectum, but flatulence shows poor etiquette?

You should have learned to sort them by now prior to expulsion.

[Zsofia]

@Santo Rugger

Hell, I fart at my desk.

I farted at my desk right now, in honor of this thread.

Best that the new girl gets an idea of what she’s getting into.