[QUOTE=Punoqllads]
Tell him that’s not the rose, that’s the fertilizer.
[/QUOTE]
But I want him to grow up and tell people that his mother’s farts smelled like roses. Telling him the truth would ruin that for me.
A fart by any other name…
Seriously, Two and a Half- are you even trying? 'Cause you don’t have to feel obligated to start these threads.
[QUOTE=Scarlett67]
Here I sit, brokenhearted
Tried to shit
But only farted
[/QUOTE]
Alternate version:
Here I sit, broken-hearted,
Paid my dime
And only farted
Next time I think I’ll take a chance
Save my dime and shit my pants.
A little blast from the past for kids who may never have seen pay toilets. 
[QUOTE=Marley23]
Seriously, Two and a Half- are you even trying? 'Cause you don’t have to feel obligated to start these threads.
[/QUOTE]
But it’s the best laugh I’ve had all day!
The guys I work with…well, will walk up to one another and fart in each other’s faces. :rolleyes:
I just do it in my office and hope no one walks in. If they do, it’s their own fault, not mine.
Guys named Will, and the people who fart at him.
Next on Maury.
- Winston “Rip” Churchill.
[QUOTE=Two and a Half Inches of Fun]
If they have to fart in public, it should be done as quietly as possible.
[/QUOTE]
You think they smell NOW? Just wait till they take your advice and go Silent But Deadly.
[QUOTE=Two and a Half Inches of Fun]
Outside (and away from others); or in a private restroom; or their homes.
If they have to fart in public, it should be done as quietly as possible.
[/QUOTE]
Yes, exactly! Especially in crowded elevators!
– Monty Python and the Holy Grail
[QUOTE=Scarlett67]
Here I sit, brokenhearted
Tried to shit
But only farted
[/QUOTE]
Then it happened,
Just by chance.
Tried to fart
And shit my pants.
Hey, if I fart in a public restroom and there’s no one there to hear it…
Does it still have an odor?
So deaf people can enjoy them too!
Wait, wrong question.
[QUOTE=Who_me?]
Hey, if I fart in a public restroom and there’s no one there to hear it…
Does it still have an odor?
[/QUOTE]
If a nearby tree falls, you can assume there was. :eek:
2½"…You do realise that if you’re in a public restroom (aka bog) and there is an overpowering stench of rotting stuff, namely shit, if you take a deep breath it will vanish.
You are then leaving the place nice and odour free for the next patron.
Just remember to nip back now and again to check if further inhalations are required.
It has to be said I never expected to see you again, ah well, ces’t la vie
[QUOTE=brownie55]
Where do I find me one of these public farting women. I’d be so less likely to get the looks I do now if I was with one of you.
[/QUOTE]
Oh yes you would. BRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrT! hewww
2.5 – the SDMB’s very own lingering fart who just wafted back onto the boards.
[QUOTE=Marley23]
I’ve heard of going out with a bang, but this isn’t it. :smack:
[/QUOTE]
Yeah, more like a Bronx cheer.
[QUOTE=jtgain]
So, while sitting on a public restroom toilet, it is okay to expel fecal matter out of your rectum, but flatulence shows poor etiquette?
[/QUOTE]
You should have learned to sort them by now prior to expulsion.
[QUOTE=Santo Rugger]
Hell, I fart at my desk.
[/QUOTE]
I farted at my desk right now, in honor of this thread.
Best that the new girl gets an idea of what she’s getting into.