You probably should. “People are discussing something! On a message board! And one of the people in the discussion might not be entirely serious about the matter!”
People aren’t “discussing things” on a message board. People are allowing themselves to be manipulated by a not particularly clever troll. If it makes them happy to dance like puppets, that’s up to them–or you I guess. I just can’t figure out why it would. It’s basically advertising “I am an easily manipulated person who isn’t very bright.” But, hey, if that’s what you want to be knock yourself out. Like I said, that’s apparently the fad around here, and I really should stop being so shocked by it. I just hope TPTB finally take that stupid “smartest people on the internet” off the site. Because, no.
OK, rant to one side, this is pretty funny.
This is the Pit, where people idle at ‘pissed-off’.
Whoosh…
Everyone knows disembowelled ferrets are a universal aphrodisiac.
And if you don’t care whether the person is a troll are not, but say what you think regardless, that is being manipulated? I don’t think so.
I feel dirty and wrong just for saying this - but I agree with kanicbird!
That’s okay, I don’t think anyone expects accuracy in any element of your posts, hon.
True, but I’ll also have to pit overly delayed ejaculation too.
It’s far more than 1 in 2! I posit that every single one of your relationships but the one you’re in right now has failed. And there’s no guarantee the one you’re in right now will succeed.
That’s the nature of dating.
This depends on how you define “failing”, of course.
Wide
Am I the only one that pictures the OP and Qin Shi Huang’di* growing up to be Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau?
*No offense, Qin - you’ve come a long way, but this dude totally reminds me of you during the first year-ish you were here.
You know, I seriously thought about creating a joke account on Yahoo Answers and linking something up there just to show you how stupid Yahoo Answers is.
But in my awesome powers of Google-Fu, I actually found something which I think could be of good benefit to you:
http://tech.mit.edu/V129/N49/survey.html
It’s literally a sex survey of the student population at MIT. Enjoy!
Here’s the full issue (put in spoilers because there’s a somewhat risque photo on the webpage that may be NSFW):
[spoiler]
http://tech.mit.edu/V129/N49/sexatmit_editorletter.html[/spoiler]
I sense a young boy who cannot win the approval of his peers and so has decided to win the approval of his Aunties and parents by fulling adhering to their centuries outdated norms. Taken on the ways of an elder while only 14yrs, for approval. Right down to the tsk, tsking at ‘kids today!’, and their newfangled thinking!
Maybe we should cut him some slack. It’s probably the only approval he gets, he probably sees them as his peer group. If he wants to walk and talk like an oldster, wasting the power and beauty that is youth in the process, let him.
How can MIT not be impressed with a teenaged old codger, who already knows everything, and feels no need for actual experience to be certain what’s right for everyone!
When the religious extremist gets something on sexuality more right than you, it’s time to quit, Anon.
DAMMIT! I wanted to make that joke!
Alright, so here is the clean-up post, replying to many posts made here and clearing up many misconceptions. I will first start out by saying that I’m not as obnoxious as I look at first. My OP is always very aggressive and it happened to be so because the only reason I started this Pit thread was because something I read. I read about how 75% of your chances of being with someone is how sexually compatible you are with them. That really put me off and got me angry/upset because I believe that is wrong. But I’m not going to be harsh about it anymore. That’s just MY opinion, and let’s start the clean up!
To be honest with you, this is not true. There are very few girls that I find attractive, but that’s all I keep it at. Like I said, I’m not interested in a serious relationship, or even light dating right now because for two reasons:
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I feel like I’m too young and it will be WAY out of my compliance with my parents (I will be discussing compliance majorly in some of my other replies).
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They probably don’t like me back. I don’t want to embarrass myself right now as I did in seventh grade and to be honest with you there’s a third reason… that there are not many choices to choose from. There are only a few hundred girls to pick from, and none of them really “capture” me.
Look, I want to find love; in fact the way I put myself to sleep is by imagining that I’m in love with a very nice girl and that I’m in a relationship with her, so that helps me relax and feel good which puts me to sleep. That tactic really helps me out especially with all the stress I have with grades, MIT/Harvard/Princeton/Yale applications, etc. The thing is that I’m resisting myself from intimate love until I go to college as this will not only comply with my parents’ rules, but it will also let me date privately. I don’t like it when my parents get involved in my love life. It makes me EXTREMELY uncomfortable and embarrassed because I’m always afraid that they will laugh at me or say, “She’s not good enough for you.”
Yes, they are pissed off about the immaturity I presented in other threads especially the “Getting into MIT (Massachusetts Institute of Technology)” one. I’ve gotten over a fair degree of it though, but still have more work to do. I am leaving for 2.5 to 3 weeks to India, so for any of you wondering, I’m holding off my idea of starting a program that involves playing the violin for charities, nursing homes, etc.
since I can’t really do anything right now about it since I have to leave in a few days (I’m leaving for my vacation the afternoon before Thanksgiving so my use of the Straight Dope Message Board will decrease significantly; I’m going there for a marriage one of my cousins is having).
I agree with that. What I disagree with is 16-17 year-olds having sex. I think that that is too premature. Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “You need reasoning, and you have absolutely zero experience so who are you to be saying what’s right?” Well honestly, I would give reasoning. The problem is that the last two topics we’ve been discussing don’t allow me to use my reasoning skills. Honestly, because I don’t know MUCH. I’m too naive. I’m basing it all off of what I think I know, simple logic, and what my parents and religion say. I am too afraid to reason otherwise because I will feel guilty for not complying with my parents and religion.
I will try to use my very limited logic and try to reason why I think 16-17 year-olds should not have sex in another reply.
I am on a slightly different topic right now. While dating is a part of this topic, it’s more aimed at sex.
Well being true to your religion is very important. I don’t want to break any rules; I have broke minor rules and feel guilty for it. Trust me, I would “listen” in other debates, but like I said, this is one of the very few topics that I can’t take other people’s viewpoints on simply due to the fact that I have to comply with my religion and my parents. I have no other choice but to argue what I am arguing. I HAVE to defend my family’s beliefs. I’m not saying I would think otherwise; I would still probably think similarly, but I would have been more open to other people’s points if compliance wasn’t a critical part of this. And trust me, there will be other topics that I will actually use more reasoning and be more open to other people’s opinions, but I can’t really do that on this topic.
First, let me say that I will claim otherwise politely. I am not interested or pre-occupied with sex. In fact, that’s not something I am worrying about at least I am until in my mid-twenties (I’m only having sex after marriage because that’s religion’s rules). So why should I be worried about sex when I could be more than a decade away from it?
Remember, this was mainly a pit on how some (not all or even many) Americans care so much about sex with the intention of deciding whether or not their partner is right for them, or I should say, how a few people decided to say that 75% of their decision of whether or not they will be with someone is sexual compatibility. And as a side note, I was wondering about how someone is supposed to know if they’re sexually compatible if they are restricted from having sex until marriage. I’m asking that because I need to know what would one do if after marriage they found out that they weren’t compatible.
As with India, I’m usually not referring to the villages. The villages is 70% of India where a lot of old beliefs that you describe of DO exist. I’m from the cities and my relatives are from the cities, which is 30% of India. The cities part of India is a lot more civilized. They marry when they’re in love (they don’t do arranged marriages in the cities). In fact, much of what they do in the cities is similar to America in terms of love, marriages, partners, etc. The critical difference is the age and when they have sex. Most people in the cities (and I know this; I’m from India and my dad told me about a lot of this), will wait a long time before dating, and won’t have sex until marriage, and sex is not an open topic. It’s not joked about, and extremely rarely discussed.
So a lot of the facts you’re hitting me with refer to the villages part of India.
See my last reply to the other guy about India.
This is the low side for what people believe is the divorce rate:
"According to enrichment journal on the divorce rate in America:
The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%
The divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60%
The divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73%"
41% is still very high. In fact, I don’t think anything above 20% can be considered good.
See one of my earlier posts; they discuss why I can’t really base it off of facts too much. Like I said, I would in other topics, but this is one of the few that I really can’t.
Here’s my stance right now, and it’s okay for you to disagree with me.
I will break it down in to three parts. One is what I will most likely do. Two is what I think other people should do. Three is the adjustment of what I think other people should do so that they are more compliant with people’s needs and wants, also known as the “absolute minimum” or it can also mean the age that only some with exception apply to.
For dating:
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I am waiting until college freshman year to date.
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I think the minimum age for dating should be 18 for the vast majority.
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The absolute minimum age for dating should be 16. Some people are mature enough to date at 16 like the ones who live by themselves, have a job, are earning money, etc. However, for the typical I would say the minimum should be 18, and honestly I don’t have the time right now the reason why. This is already a very long post, and I’ll save that for later. And it’s okay to disagree with me. I can’t control anyone. This is just what I think.
For sex:
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I am waiting until marriage.
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I think the minimum age should be 21 for the vast majority.
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The absolute minimum age for sex should be 18. Like you said, some 18 year-olds are ready. Same as above, I can’t really reason this one at all (unlike with the dating one where I will some time in the future, reason) because I’m inexperienced. This is more on just what I believe as of now is morally right. I don’t think 16-17 year-olds are old enough. I think that one should at least wait until 18, that way when they earn it when they get their independence and are free to make their own choices.
You don’t have to agree with me here. This is just what I believe as of now.
:dubious: No… this is naughty talk?
I do use reasoning and have a good ability to use it. See my earlier replies in this post and you will know why this is one of the very few topics where I can’t reason much in.
Well, I hope this post is helping you understand better.
I never said attraction shouldn’t be there. I think attraction is very important actually. I said sexual compatibility is not as important as people make it out to be. Now you’re right, actually. I really don’t have a say in this. I am too young; I’m only almost 15 (I’m turning 15 in less than two months). I understand what you’re saying. It’s just that… never mind. Let’s not bother with this right now. What I will say is that I think it’s wrong to just leave someone because they are not sexually compatible after a very long time they’ve been with and love each other. I think that’s wrong. That you have this 5 year long relationship going on, and all of a sudden, because of sex, you break up. But I’m too inexperienced to talk about this anyways…
See above reply.
Maybe I don’t have a clue. I will say this much that what I think I would value more is the romanticism. Those moments where you’re on the beach in the sunset with your partner, watching the stars, etc. are what I value more than sex. I think. But I will maybe change. It’s too early to say what I want, but this is just “as of now”.
Oh, in your 30’s is definitely fine. And I’m not “jealous” of anyone. As much as it may SEEM like it, I’m not. I’m purposely depriving myself of love until the first year of college. I think that it’s great that there are couples are having a great sex life, but I am objecting to the ones that are too young, like the ones that are under 18 years old. Now, you’re right, I don’t have enough experience. This is just what I believe. I’m not “jealous” of anyone. In fact, very rarely do I get jealous.
I’m really not a troll. I like the Straight Dope Message Board, and will continue to use it. I stumbled upon it when I was searching for solutions on solving candy jar problems. I saw this forum and thought, “Wow, people are really smart here. I will join too because people are actually sensible and 100 times smarter than Yahoo! Answers!” I was happy to finally find a forum that is actually still running actively. So many forums are outdated on the internet.
I do wish I was agreed with more, but maybe this topic is not one to put my wishes into. And you’ll see, that as I post more, that I’m not a troll. I’m not trying to piss people off; that’s not my intent. I actually want you to be happy. But sadly, whenever I post something like this, people accuse me of trolling.
See above post.
I don’t lecture other kids actually. I only talk about this stuff to a couple of my friends who actually agree with me. But other than that, I’m pretty chill in school, and a lot of the upperclassmen like me (as a person). With all the activities I’m involved in, I’m seeing a lot of people that I’m making friends with.
I don’t debate this stuff in school because why bother? I won’t have any effect on 99% of the people anyways. And like you said, kids would really get pissed off.
And why keep bringing up MIT? What does MIT have to do with this?
Alright, I hope this post helps clear up some things. If you still object to things that I said in the post, let me know, and I’ll try to improve on anything you think I need work on.
TL;DR
By the way, it’s pretty much a given that anybody willing to put in this kind of work denying sex if important to them is delusional. You just spent an inordinate amount of time responding to a bunch of people on the very topic of why you aren’t pre-occupied with sex, which is self-contradictory.
Put that brain to SOME use and figure out why and how that same urge to control/repress OTHER people’s sexual urges while denying/hiding their one is one of the unique aspects of social conservatives in the US.
This is one of the worst Pittings I’ve ever seen. You might as well have put this in IMHO or GD. At least you’d avoid the inevitable insults. Look West, Young Man, while masturbating.
I am neither of your culture nor religion, why should your rules apply to me or anyone else? It is fine to accept them for you own but you really have to stop judging the choices of others who hold different world views.
Hopefully nobody will ever force you to have sex you don’t want but that doesn’t mean the rest of us shouldn’t be able to consensually root like rabbits.
They shouldn’t. That’s what I said in my clean-up post. I said that that was what I BELIEVE. I don’t think they should apply to anyone. And I think you’re right about the fact that I need to stop judging others’ choices. I agree, and I will work on this.
Thank you.
I got a 14k gold chastity ring I wore on a chain around my neck. It read: LOVE CAN WAIT. I asked for it as a Christmas gift from my parents.
Did I mention I brought my Bible to school with me? I was really fun in junior high.
Now, if I can attempt a halfway serious answer for our OP… ‘‘sexual compatibility’’ means more than just intercourse. It’s about chemistry - kissing, holding on to one another, inhaling their scent, all that stuff. And that stuff is damned important in a romantic relationship. That’s what makes a romantic relationship different than just friendship.
That said, sex was never that high up on my list of priorities in a relationship. I actually underestimated its importance for a long time. When you really love someone, sex can be an amazing and pure expression of that love - it becomes an almost spiritual experience. It does matter. You think you can compartmentalize sex from the rest of a relationship, but you really can’t. It affects all the other areas. This is something I learned relatively late in life… I’ve been married 6 years.
Not everybody is, or has to be, sex-obsessed, and it is perfectly normal to value sexuality in a relationship. But some people don’t, and that’s okay too. Try to be less judgmental of others and what they do, but do your own thing. Eventually you’ll find someone who values the same things you do.
I understand now what you mean about sexually compatible - it includes kissing and other stuff. Now I know what you mean and now I think there’s more importance. At first I just thought it was intercourse and I was unclear on what that actually meant.
Sorry and thank you for explaining this, and yes I agree with you.
You see, this is why people keep telling you that your reasoning and debating skills are so lacking.
This was your response to my post. Yet I neither said nor implied any such thing.
And your nonsense about the differences between the villages and cities in India, is laughable. But then you don’t rely on any actual evidence. This ‘it’s only in the villages’ response is getting old, and is extremely lame, mostly because it’s demonstrably untrue.
Come back when can think, how be?