That was one thing that I said and I agree it was slightly out of context (sorry I messed up). I mentioned it because someone earlier thought I was lecturing other kids.
The differences between the villages and cities in India are true! I am from India so I would know! This is what my dad told me, and he lived in India for 25-30 years. We would know. Don’t try to question this. It’s true that a lot of the unfair and extremely traditional beliefs are only evident in the villages. This is the one thing you have to believe me on because I would know as I’m Indian, and my parents grew up in India. We are US citizens by the way.
And as a side note, you may want to reread my clean-up more carefully because I actually explain how this is one of the very few topics that I’m not using much reasoning in.
I don’t think you are a troll like other people accused you of being. I believe you are real because you sound like a really young version of many of my Indian coworkers. There is nothing wrong with being proud of your cultural heritage but you are American now and yet don’t seem to understand American culture all that well in many ways.
You aren’t the first bright young person that showed up here confused about a lot of things. Some of them that did are adults now and have done quite well. It is expected for someone your age. People, including me, are being hard on you but it certainly nothing personal. I was confused at your age too.
Listen, you have a lot of potential but many of your ideas about the way things work are way off. Stick around for a while and you will get good guidance from unbiased sources here. You may catch some flack for it too but it is all in good fun. Everyone only reply to your threads because they are interested.
Maybe those who are chastising AU need to start their own pit thread? AU came here so he could vent some of his pent up… frustration. The last thing he needs is to feel the pressure coming in from all directions. He probably can barely contain himself at this point. Just let him blow his top so he can finally have a peaceful night’s rest, guys.
Thank you were not accusing me of trolling because you’re right. I’m not. I like the Straight Dope Message Board so I’m staying obviously. Like I said, I stumbled upon this as I was searching for a solution to the candy jar problem. I noticed how everyone here is about 100 times smarter than Yahoo! Answers so that’s why I like using this more when I actually have questions. I still use Yahoo! Answers but not much for serious questions anymore. Mainly, just to answer when I feel like it sometimes.
It’s unfortunately all too serious. What’s more, 88.726% of some people believe that meaningless generalizations sound more impressive if there is a statistic, no matter how stupid or irrelevant.
OTOH, had the OP stated that 100% of whether a boy wants to be with you is based on SEX, I’d only be quibbling on the decimal point.
OK…here’s something else you may as well learn sooner rather than later:
Your parents don’t know everything. That’s not a knock on your parents, NOBODY’s parents know everything. They’re human. Their experience is limited, just like everyone else’s.
Perhaps in your father’s experiences of whichever cities and villages he spent time in, the differences are true, but there are over 1.2 billion people in India. You could spend a lifetime (not just your first 25 years) in a country that big and diverse and not be able to fully understand the variety and breadth of moralities and values that different localities hold. To describe one set of values (that you were told about, rather than experienced firsthand, no less) and say “this is what it’s like in India, don’t try to question that!” is frankly naive. Look at the much smaller America, and the variety of lifestyles and cultures here; would you study L.A. and then assume that you know how life is led in Philadelphia? If you did, you’d be hilariously wrong…why should we believe India is less diverse?
Yes, and there are two diversions in India: Cities (30%), Villages (70%). What I’m trying to tell you guys is that a lot of the statistics you are referring to mostly only occur in the villages. When I’m citing India, I’m usually talking about the cities.
Doesn’t have to be that he can’t win approval of his peers or whatever. Even when I was 16 (only 6 years ago, but still), there was a huge amount of “oh man I act like such an old guy listening to the Beatles instead of this mainstream shit lololol.” Hell, in Twilight, Bella frequently comments on how “on the inside she’s 40” or how she “acts like a 40 year old” and stuff like that. Trying (and often hilariously failing) to act like your parents generation isn’t exactly an uncommon thing even for popular kids.
Of course, I think adopting your parent’s values on sex and morality is a relatively rare one, but I think it’s just a general extension of the same phenomenon.
I deflowered my 16-year-old girlfriend two weeks ago. She was ready. When I was 16, I had sex for the first time. I was really ready. I know people who have gone even younger; they were ready. I’d say 14 is probably too young for most people, but there’s this thing about making rules like this: people mature differently. Like, essentially nobody is ready at 12… Except that there are always exceptions to the rules (although usually the precocious 12-year-olds are boys). People aren’t all like you, or like the people you know. People are ready at different times.
…That made me sound like a pedophile, doesn’t it?
Due to experiences with a certain girl in the USA, whenever I see a chastity ring, what I immediately think is, “Huh, she needs to wear a piece of jewelry to remind herself not to have sex with random dudes”. With the corollary of "This is gonna be easy ".
Amen. In fact, basically this whole post is completely correct.
And yet still wrong. But why be surprised by someone bragging about ‘not using reasoning’. “Don’t try question this.” That’s hilarious!
Are you telling us you’re second generation Indian, American educated, 15 yrs old and these are your English skills? Because, if so, this is where you should be trying to keep up to your peers. Or give up any dream of MIT till you get that mastered.
Wait. you’re telling me there are multiple posters on this board of Indian descent? And that AU is not the de facto authority on what goes on in India and that we shouldn’t just take his word for it because his dad lived in India for 25-30 years? My world is rocked. I would have thought for sure that the sheltered 15 year old who joined a month ago was going to be our unquestionable font of Indian knowledge.
BPC, your limited experience in this field while um…interesting may not have adequately prepared you to advise another randy youngster on matters of the heart. Don’t make me roll up a newspaper. G’wan! GIT!!
First off, thank you for your long reply. We get so many drive-by newbies here that it gets kind of tedious - they start a thread, we respond, they’re long gone, never to be heard from again.
Secondly, I’m curious about how you feel about people not of your religion. Your religion has specific rules regarding sex and marriage; how do you feel about other people who are not of your religion doing things differently?
Thirdly, I’m sorry to hear about you feeling very guilty for not always doing things exactly as your religion and your parents tell you to. In my opinion, religion should be used as a helpful guideline, not a straitjacket that constricts you to keep you from fully living your life.
I think that it’s fine if people do things that don’t comply with my religion. Everyone has their own beliefs, so I really don’t have a say in what other people do especially due to the fact that I’m only almost 15.
However, I do want my future partner to hold off on sex until marriage.
