I understand that cultures are different, and thus some things that can be attributed to culture don’t bother me. For example, hocking up some big ass loogies and spitting them on the street or even in a restaurant is perfectly OK with me, whether it is done by an ancient grandfatherly-looking character or a cute little 8-year old girl. If the culture says it’s OK to spit in public, that’s cool.
What really gets me is rudeness that impinges upon others, that basically implies “I’m important, and you’re not, so fuck off”. The most common case is cutting in line. People do it all the time, and so blatantly, too. Nothing is safe, be it a well-defined line in the metro at the ticket-buying window, or even in a convenience store where there are only two other customers, and you were in line waiting for the other fellow to finish a full minute before the other guy finished getting stuff. The other guy will just throw his things on the counter from behind you, and the check-out lady will start to ring him up without a second thought. I’ve even been shouldered out of the way right before I get up to the counter. I mean, this doesn’t happen all the time, but several times a week is much too often. I often try to say something like “Pai Dui” (Get in line), but more often than not I’m just ignored. It’s maddenning.
On a related note, sometimes when I’m talking to a service person (in a restaurant, clothing store, etc.), another person will just come in and talk louder to that person, because clearly THEIR issue is just so much more important than mine. Or on the bus, some joker will be CHOOSING their cell phone ringing tones, trying out a dozen of the damn things at full volume. Or smoking in a non-smoking zone (those signs are pretty much a joke here, I guess). Or young adults ramming their way into the bus/subway car to steal the few seats available away from elderly folk (who ALMOST NEVER get offered seats-- I think I’ve seen non-me people do it 4 times total in almost a year).
Outside of Shanghai, I’ve been to Beijing, a number of places in Jiangsu and Zhejiang provinces, several towns and cities in Sichuan, and a few other places. This type of rudeness seems to be ubiquitous and heads and shoulders above anything I’ve ever experienced, and this is coming from a fellow who has lived in Los Angeles, Philadelphia, and New York. Don’t get me wrong; I’ve met some wonderful folks here, both in private and public settings, but man, sometimes this country just drives me nuts.