I didn’t drink at all until I was in my mid-20s, but I never got hassled about it.
Either your friends are all assholes (possible) or something about the way you’ve told them you don’t want to drink didn’t work. Did you say something like “Alcohol tastes like crap, it always tastes like crap, and anyone who says any different is lying”? Alcohol did taste nasty to me when I was younger, but I had a fairly major revision of tastes at a certain point. I could never again eat the amounts of sugar that tasted good to me back then, and now I also enjoy eating all kinds of other things I hated then, many of which have strong or bitter tastes, like asparagus or some kinds of cheese. Maybe your friends heard an implicit challenge in your refusals of alcohol. In which case you might settle them down by saying something unchallenging like “Look, I don’t like alcohol for personal reasons. Could we please leave it at that, as a favor to me?”
Exactly. Just like with any other taste preference, if you are offered something that you don’t particularly like, just say, “No, thank you.” That’s all. You don’t have to attack other people’s preference for it (it tastes like “crap”, “I just never got into the whole getting-drunk-off-your-ass-and-making-a-fool-of-yourself thing”). If someone offered you a tuna sandwich and you didn’t like fish, you’d say, “No, thanks.” You wouldn’t say it’s disgusting. That would be rude.
Your friends are being rude to push the issue, but you’re being rude, too, by implying that their preferences indicate some sort of lack of taste or character. I bet if you just said, “No, thanks” the issue would be dropped a lot more quickly.
Do you just find something non-alcoholic to drink when other people are drinking, or do you make a big deal out of how you don’t drink alcohol? You’ll probably get a better response with the former approach than the latter.
Do you often say how nasty you think alcohol is and how you can’t imagine how anyone would want to drink that? A simple, “no, thanks, I don’t drink” would suffice. If pressed on this, you could even say “I’d rather not talk about it”. It’s true, isn’t it- you’re probably sick of discussing your not drinking with everybody.
If you attack other people’s tastes and choices, you make them defensive. People on the defensive will try to justify their tastes.
It’s just more polite to say a simple “no, thanks” when offered something you don’t like, rather than to say how awful you think it is. I keep kosher. At parties, there’s often food I won’t eat. I just pass it by, or say “no, thank you” if I’m offered some. I don’t start a discussion of how gross pigs and pork are. I don’t run into a lot of people who push things on me.
I like the taste of bourbon and some other alcohols. I like a lot of the fruity foo-foo drinks. I like the taste of wine. I like some beers. There are even some yummy shooters.
OTOH, I drink only very occasionally, and generally have maybe one glass when I do.
I hang out with a lot of drinkers, some serious. I used to go to bars & clubs a lot. I can only remember one person that’s ever harassed me about drinking, and he was just an asshole in general.
Sounds to me like you’ve got a personal problem. Either you’re being obnoxious with your “I’m too good to drink and you’re a schmuck if you do” attitude, or you’re being apologetic IRL and overcompensating here. I’ve always found that a simple “no, thanks” works fine.
It also sounds like you hang out with jerks. You expect your friends to trick you into trying something they know you won’t like and don’t want? That doesn’t sound very friendly to me.
This could be it. I don’t drink either, but when offered, I just say, or “No, thanks” or “No, thanks, I don’t drink,” not “No, thanks, I’m an alcoholic” (which I am). Hardly anyone has ever taken this as a challenge. It’s no one’s business why you don’t drink, you don’t owe them an explanation. If you get the guy who just won’t leave you alone, the broken record technique usually works fine: Repeat “No, thanks” until the jerk goes away.
ETA: I just saw redtail23’s comment. What he/she said.
Yeah, this right here. If someone says “beer tastes like crap/wine tastes harsh/liquor is nasty stuff” I’ll assume they’ve been drinking some kind of cheap swill, and if they continue, I might assume they’re treating me like I’m some kind of drunken idiot. But I like the taste of many beers. Really. Not the crap I drank in college just to be “sociable,” but now that I have a budget to buy what beer I want, I’ve found stuff I love.
But then there are people who have genetic issues with the taste of some things, and if they’re one of those people who taste soap instead of cilantro, or have an unbelievably bitter taste from broccoli and its relatives, I’ll be sad over that but understanding.
I approve of the “no thanks”/“no thanks, I don’t drink” simple approach. If you absolutely must, tell them that you must have some kind of genetic thing, that your taste buds register all alcohol as unbelievably bitter and it’s a horrible experience for you. Jerks will plow on ahead regardless, but decent people will understand and not be offended in return.
It’s very rude to press food or drink on someone. A simple “No, thanks” should always suffice. Whether you’re recovery, on antibiotics, on a diet–or it’s against your religion or you’re just not in the mood that day–the reason doesn’t matter. And you needn’t offer one. Saying you don’t like the taste will leave you open to suggestions.
Many people do enjoy the taste of alcoholic drinks. And many of us manage to imbibe in moderation. Don’t preach.
I strongly disagree with lying about it, but that’s my personal preference. If you do lie, go with what stpauler suggested, and go over the top with it. Make it funny.
But in the end, saying that you don’t enjoy drinking, period, with authority is IMO the best way to diffuse the situation.
I would like to see a full treatment of the “herding endangered pandas over the rickety bridge over lava while my eyelids sag” story, with storyboards, on my desk ASAP.
That is all.
My friends are great. They have their faults individually, like anybody, but drinking seems to be the one collective thing they all band together and tease me about. Though it may not sound like it from my post (this is the Pit afterall), I’m fairly nice about my not drinking. I always try to say simply “No thanks, I don’t drink”.
That’s when the shock and horror comes out. They ask for an explanation, and I feel obligated not to lie to them. So I tell them I don’t like the taste, and that unleashes a waterfall of shit on how I’m just not trying the right kind of drinks. In fact, knowing that people will react that way usually makes me reticent about even admitting it.
In groups where I don’t know everybody, I’ll usually just refuse a drink. I stick to coke or water mainly. But inevitably someone points out that I’m not drinking (like at a recent wedding, when everyone toasted with champagne and I had my large glass of coke). Then the questions start and I get annoyed.
My coworkers, who are generally nice people, try to get me to drink during birthdays or celebrations. My friends do the same thing. I could always swear they were coordinating efforts with each other. If its a celebration, I always get “Try a sip, you’ll like it”. They joke about it when we’re not celebrating, like “Hey the next time we go out we gotta get Yog drunk!” as if its so funny to see someone stumbling around dizzy and slurring their words.
Its been almost 10 years since I can drink, and probably 15 since I’ve been expected to secretly drink, but they still just will not drop it. I’m going to a Christmas party with friends in a few weeks and I bet someone will push a drink up to my face and ask me to try it. I’m thinking about bringing along a jar of piss as a come back.
With close friends just explain that you don’t drink. At holiday parties or work functions where people are trying to push something on you go to the bar, get half a glass of wine and carry it around with you all night. No one will notice you aren’t drinking it and since you already have a drink in hand people won’t push alcohol on you all night. That is what I do at group functions and it works fabulously.
If not for the knowledge of anime and the apparent interest in tits, I would accuse the OP of being a sock, because he is me. I have plenty of good reasons why I don’t drink*, but I don’t need to tell them to strangers. “No, thank you” is a perfectly acceptable answer, and no explanation is necessary. People who try to force alcohol on others, especially their guests, are jerks.
*My father was an alcoholic. So were his sister, her husband, two of their children, and my sister, who died of alcoholism. Me, I decided long ago not to go there – and so I get the “oh, are you in recovery?” like ShelliBean’s boyfriend does. That, at least, can be answered with “I beg your pardon?” and a thousand-yard stare.
As I recall, you’re the one who made an ass of himself and called the honeymooners alcoholics in the thread about taking champagne to a bed and breakfast. So frankly, I don’t quite trust your reporting on this issue.
There is a way to not give an explanation without lying to anybody. Just say “I’d rather not talk about it”. That’s not a lie- you would prefer not to talk about it again, right? It’s not the whole truth, but you’re not under oath, so you have no obligation to tell the whole truth.
Be sure you don’t respond in a way that anyone could find amusing when someone does try to push alcohol on you. You want to go for totally bland and boring here. If it’s fun to push alcohol on you and see how you react, some (jerkish) people are going to keep doing it. If you just say a simple “no, thank you” in an even and polite tone, the jerks will eventually get bored with that game and find something else to do. If you try the drink and make faces or say it tastes like crap, somebody’s going to find that reaction amusing. It’s probably fun to try to push alcohol on you if you say something really imaginative like:
I still wouldn’t push alcohol on you, because I was brought up better than to do a rude thing like that. But I can understand why someone might want to. Stop rewarding that kind of behavior.
Good, I’m not the only one who thought of this. You should also not do anything to imply that anyone who does drink is an alcoholic, or that you think you are better than other people because you don’t drink. Very few people like talking to someone who thinks he’s better than you. It’s much easier and more fun for most people to be a jerk to someone who is being a jerk back to you than it is to be a jerk to someone who isn’t being obnoxious or sanctimonious.
Pre-recovery. That’s where you don’t drink because you don’t want to go through recovery.
I drink. Sometimes I don’t drink. No thank you seems to work well. Sometimes people assume I’m in recovery or religious. I don’t feel an overwhelming need to correct them.
BTW, I turn down drinks with coworkers with “no thank you, I never drink with the people I work with…I become a horrible flirt.”