I wish I had the necessary creativity and flair with obscenity to make this into a killer Pit thread, but even when I’m ticked off I’m pretty Mundane and Pointless.
Okay, so I don’t drink. I’m not saying I don’t drink a lot, or that I don’t usually drink, but that I don’t drink at all. This is not because I don’t know how to drink. It’s not because I can’t open a bottle by myself. It’s not because I have never had the opportunity to imbibe alcohol. It’s not because no one ever asked me to. It’s because, for reasons of my own, I have made a rational and conscious decision not to do it.
I don’t think this makes me better than people who drink, at least not those who drink responsibly. I don’t make a big deal about being a non-drinker. I just say “No thanks” or “No, I don’t drink” when alcohol is offered to me. But for reasons I cannot fathom, some people cannot process such refusal. Lest anyone look at my location and think this is a cultural misunderstanding, let me say that I have not had this trouble with the Japanese. So far they’ve all been able to accept that “no means no”. It’s only ever been other Americans who pester me with “Don’t you want to have a drink? You should have something to drink. Why don’t you try this one?” Some of them have been downright rude about trying to force alcoholic refreshment on me after I’ve said no repeatedly.
I can appreciate a considerate host/ess who offers guests a variety of beverages. I can understand making the offer of alcohol twice just to be sure that people aren’t refusing out of politeness because they know it’s expensive, or recommending a favorite drink to a friend. But if someone continues to say “no”, or explains that they don’t drink, why press the issue? There are many possible reasons why someone would not, should not, or could not consume alcohol. Most of these reasons aren’t ones that they’d want to discuss casually. So please people, if you’re with someone who says they don’t drink, let them not drink in peace. It’s the nice thing to do. It also means more for you anyway, and if you think alcohol is so great you should appreciate that.
It’s because people are assholes. And stupid. People are stupid assholes.
I’ve seen recovering addicts being “harassed” by others because they aren’t using. “Well, why’d you even come then?!” like they have no business being around it if they aren’t going to imbibe. Like I said, stupid assholes.
Been in that boat a few times. My peeve is people handing you a glass and getting offended when you ask “What’s in this?”
Insecure people are easily distraught by people that are different from them. People who drink more than they should (and are at least semi-aware of that) are easily bothered by people who don’t drink at all. Your existence makes them very uncomfortable. (Note that such insecure people are also the most adamant about not being insecure. People who are secure with their personal drinking policies don’t care about others.)
Y’know, I haven’t had a drink in 9 1/2 years, and this has only happened to me one time. Everyone I hang around with knows that I don’t drink anymore, so it’s not a problem.
The one time it did happen, it was one guy who didn’t know I’m an alcoholic.
“C’mon, have a drink.”
“No thanks, I don’t drink.”
“C’mon, have a drink with the rest of us.”
“Did you make a bet with someone that you could get a recovering alcoholic to fall off the wagon tonight?”
“What?”
“This isn’t a debate. Move past it.”
At which point one of my friends pulled him aside and explained things. Normally, I wouldn’t tee off on someone for that, but this guy was seriously obnoxious, and I figured he could use a little reality check.
Oh, and yes, I had rehearsed that line in my head numerous times on the off chance that I’d get to use it.
Try doing what we told our kids to do when their grandmother kept bugging them to eat food they didn’t like. Say “No, thank you.” When the offer is repeated, say it again, exactly the same way. Lather, rinse, repeat. Refuse to be drawn into a discussion. Change the subject. After 3, 4, or 5 bland repetitions of “No, thank you,” most people give up.
People being annoyed because someone asks what’s in a food or beverage is just ignorant. Most everybody has something they despise the taste of or cannot consume for religious or medical reasons.
I know how you feel. I don’t drink, either. While I haven’t had any altercations about it, there is a change in the atmosphere when some people find out you don’t drink. It’s as if they don’t trust you anymore. One guy, while I believe he had the best of intentions, still kinda flabbergasted me by asking why I don’t drink. “Like, is there a reason?” I replied, “Yeah, it makes me throw up. And I hate to throw up.” I think he was expecting me to tell him some sordid tale of alcoholism, or something.
Don’t sweat it. It’s perfectly OK not to drink. I second ftg’s idea that insecure people get bugged about anybody who is different from them. People who are that shallow don’t deserve any of your time or attention.
Heh. When I was in college I suffered for some time from medical problems that had me throwing up as often as after every meal. I tried to be as discreet as possible, but everyone knew I had trouble keeping my lunch down. At one party when I was being nagged to have a beer or two or ten, and one guest was actually boasting about how she was going to drink 'til she puked, I eventually said “No, I really don’t need to. I can throw up without it.”
I kinda just turn it around. Since I don’t mind being around it, I usually volunteer my services as a babysitter/designated driver. This way, my friends know there will be someone sober who can look after them if it comes to that. They appreciate that.
I drink practically nothing. What is especially irritating is the tone I get from people around me on the occasions when I do decide to have a glass of something. “Oh, good girl!” like I am a 4 year old who did a clever trick…
First of all, of course, don’t let people who bug you about drinking get to you. As many others have already stated, they’ll either get it, or they won’t. Either way, no diff to you.
I’m not quite in the same boat but … see I do occasionally drink, but rarely. So I actually have quite a bit of alcohol about my house. Various wines, hard liquors, etc. I go through about one bottle of wine a year. The other bottles I bought when I first bought the house (in order to stock my bar) and have never been replaced in over ten years. When I tell that to people who do drink I get really odd looks …
And because I rarely drink I’m often in your situation. People will offer me a drink and I’ll often say, “No thanks, don’t feel like it”. But you know, any more, at my age people don’t think twice about it and just accept it. Thank goodness I’ve finally reached the point where my peers no longer consider drinking a competitive sport!
I’m also a non-drinker, for two simple reasons: 1, I dislike the taste of alcohol - there’s an underlying bitter, chemical taste to it that I do not find at all enjoyable; and 2, on the rare occasions I have drunk alcohol (mainly when I was trying to be a rowdy teenager) I’ve gone from straight to sick in 1.5 drinks.
I have said many times that drinking is the only “vice” that, if you don’t have it, people want to know why. People are FOREVER trying to get me to drink, which I think is just plain weird - people who I wouldn’t normally think would be bothered by my non-drinking get completely pushy! “Oh, you just haven’t found the RIGHT drink! Here, try this Kahlua and Cream, tastes just like a milkshake!” Hello, I tended bar for 15 years. There is no brand or variety of booze I haven’t tasted.
I have no huge moral issues about drinking, save that I prefer not to get into arguments with people who have had too much to drink or that I won’t ride in a car with someone who’s been drinking. I simply prefer not to, and for some reason, this makes people crazy.
Another non-drinker here. I’m not an alcoholic, but I’ve been surrounded by them my whole life, and that was enough to turn me off the hooch. And aside from that, I think it tastes like poo.
I think it’s a riot how most people react when they find out you don’t drink, especially when they find out you don’t have “a problem” you just choose not to imbibe. Stunned disbelief. And like LifeOnWry…“Well, you’ve never tried this drink/that drink/blah blah blah.”
It doesn’t really bother me though. I just sip my Pepsi, and thank god I spend the bulk of my time around other non-drinkers.
A long time ago, in an SDMB thread far, far away, I came up with some statistics showing that about 25% of American adults don’t drink at all. IIRC, people fought bitterly over the statistics (“well, they must all be alcoholics who are in recovery,” etc.)
I do think that the amount of flack I get is decreasing as I get older, but there are still some people who are real jerks about it. I work with a bunch of macho guys, who have been known to joke about how one of these days they’re going to take me out and get me drunk. People often make snide remarks of that type (“Ha, ha, I can’t wait to see SpoilerVirgin drunk – that ought to really loosen her up.”)
My favorite incident comes from high school, though. I was at a party where alcohol was being served. A friend of mine came up to me with a glass in her hand, and then made an elaborate point of pouring the contents into a convenient plant and saying conspiratorially to me, “Oh, I don’t really drink, I was just holding that for show.” Since I knew that she drank anyway, I just thought she was being silly and hypocritical. But I think that gets to the heart of the matter – people feel that by not drinking, you are somehow passing judgment on them. So they have to find some way to get the upper hand, either by forcing you to drink or by making it seem like you the non-drinker are the foolish one.
As for holding a drink for show, I admit I do this when I am really in no mood to be hassled for my non-drinking. I don’t dump drinks into plants, though, that’s just silly.
Virgin Marys are pretty yummy, actually. Coke or club soda with a lime wedge looks like a “real” drink, too. On New Year’s Eve, I have champagne for my guests, but I also keep a bottle of carbonated grape juice for me and the kiddies.
Shit, I get that ALL THE TIME … pretty much every friend I’ve ever had was going to be the one who got me drunk one time. Only one has ever done it and after he did it, he left me alone, so it was all good.
I went out recently with the rest of the office and had nothing but cold oolong tea in a big glass. (That was the only non-alcoholic beverage available.) Pretty tasty, and as the evening wore on I think some people probably forgot that it wasn’t beer in my glass too.
Unfortunately, I think I rather overdid it – the caffeine kept me up until 6 am! :eek:
I don’t drink much, either (I can’t call myself a non-drinker, since I still sip from my husband’s beer), and I haven’t had any hassles about it at all. Like Ponder said, I think it’s just a thing that gets better with age - we’re all in our mid-thirties, and if you go around the room, you’ll get a different reason not to drink from just about every person. It just became a non-issue somewhere around 27, once people started settling down, having kids, getting serious about careers, etc. So, you young teetotallers, you have that to look forward to. Your peers should catch up to you in awhile.
Frank: What’s your poison?
Me: Coke please.
Frank: No, your poison.
Me: Coke’s poisonous.
Frank: You don’t drink?
Me: No, I don’t like the taste.
Frank: Aw. I was looking forward to getting you drunk for your birthday.
Me: You don’t have to get me drunk, honey.
