He’s also hanging around the same people if he thinks having a drink = getting-drunk-off-your-ass-and-making-a-fool-of-yourself. Has this guy ever been around normal people in his life? We just drink, then everyone goes home. No big deal.
That’s the spirit! I heartily endorse your contrubutions to this thread. I’d ordinarily suggest powder coke, but in this economy, one must be frugal.
Ya know, when my best gal pal in town stopped drinking and smoking (you know, being cool) I thought, “Sweet! Does this mean I’ll save money on cab fare?”
It’s not, in any way, a different situation, YogSogoth. Some happily married people wanted to drink a glass of champagne on their anniversary and were miffed that after they’d made reservations they were told they couldn’t drink. A simple phone call ended up solving the problem, but you took the whole thing to mean they were people with a serious substance abuse problem because alcohol was involved. Who has the issues, dude?
I guess I should say that it makes sense when the drinkers get defensive just because the non-drinker declines. If the non-drinker actually says “No thanks, I don’t like the taste” or “It tastes like crap” or something, then I agree it opens up that line of conversation and it’s reasonable for the drinker to pursue it. It’s when the drinker gets annoyed at the mere fact their friend won’t drink that there may be something deeper. Are you there to be social or to get buzzed?
No,no,no,no, I don’t drink it no more, I’m tired of wakin’ up on the floor. No thank you please, it only makes me feel queezy, and then it makes it hard to find the door.
Hoyt Axton.
I appreciate how annoying people forcing a drink on you must feel, and I know how annoying it is to be sober when everyone is stocious. It’s a legitimate gripe.
However, your participation in two threads (to my knowledge) where you hammer home your negativity regarding people who do drink, indicates that you might have a bit of an attitude that strays from objectivity.
Not really a different topic, when in that thread you said stuff like:[
I don’t drink any more either (my wild oats are good and sown, done with that), and it is never an issue. I haven’t drank in almost 10 years, and I am racking my brains to remember the last time someone even questioned me over it, and we used to go out for wings and out to the pub frequently. The waitress takes orders, mine is a water or a club soda, and that’s as big an issue as it is (my husband orders enough premium beers to make up for my waters ). Course, we’re all in our 40s now, not our 20s.
Truly, OP, it just isn’t anyone else’s business whether you do or don’t drink, and I’d stop defending it. By defending your choice, you are legitimizing their harassment - ignoring it is the better option.
I don’t like alcohol, coffee and chocolate. Top that, bitches!
Anything alcoholic tastes just nasty to me. I can always taste the alcohol in those “you can’t even taste the alcohol” drinks. Back when I was doing a lot of business travel, I would order one drink with dinner with clients or suppliers sometimes just to avoid the awkwardness. The two things that taste the least nasty to me, for whatever reason, are premium tequila and lager beer.
When I was dating, I had a whole speech ready for why I didn’t want wine with dinner. I had to explain that I was not a recovering alcohol addict and I had no moral or religious reasons for avoiding alcohol. I just couldn’t stand the taste.
Since I was one of the ones arguing in that thread, I second your Oh SNAP!
Only two choices I think are possible, OP:
your friends are assholes for pushing you to drink so much it upsets you enough to pit them
you are exaggerating and you’re the asshole with booze issues
As a blanket statement, yes. In our society (societies, really, when we’re talking about the SDMB community), the default is that most people consume alcoholic beverages to some degree. While it may not be polite to comment on the fact that or question why someone isn’t drinking, it certainly should be expected. I don’t drive, and I don’t get all fucking pissy when someone asks me why I don’t. I also don’t go all sanctimonious at people who do drive. Presumably, if my answer were something like, “I don’t drive because all cars are uncomfortable,” some people might try to convince me otherwise.
Exactly, because there’s nothing in that statement that attacks the drinker you’re speaking to, as opposed to, “I don’t drink because it’s disgusting, you retarded alcoholic.”
Shut the fuck up and get me a glass of wine.
You weren’t the only one. Scroll up and check my response.
I go for an “Aw, SNAP,” with the pull-back to initiate the high five starting somewhere during the “SNAP,” so that the actual hand-to-hand impact punctuates the end of it.
Exactly. I don’t care if someone doesn’t drink because they don’t like to drink. However, because there are many beers and wines I very much enjoy the taste of, as well as many that I think are absolute crap and wouldn’t touch if you paid me to, if someone tells me that they don’t drink because they don’t like the taste, I might try to suggest some beers or wines that they *might *actually like. Like some others in this thread have mentioned, I have actually known people who “didn’t like” beer or wine or coffee or some other distinctively flavored beverage simply because they’d always had shitty kinds of it.
I thought the drinking traditionally interfered with the oat-sowing…
Miss Manners got a letter once asking how to handle unwanted invitations to drink, smoke pot, have a slice of pie, have sex, or, well, anything you didn’t want to partake of. She said, “say, no, thank you. Repeat as needed, as often as needed. Do not argue, do not get into deep philosophical debates, do not defend your beliefs. Keep saying “no, thanks” “none for me, thanks”, and eventually those offering things you don’t want will get bored and go out in the yard to get high”. Easier said than done, and your situation seems a bit beyond her advice now, but that’s what Miss Manners advised.
Let’s be sure we keep a heavy emphasis on that “everyone,” because on a case-by-case basis, there are legitimate reasons for both.
I would like some people to drink more because I enjoy spreading the enjoyment of things I enjoy (enjoy enjoy enjoy, enjoy enjoy). I’ll try to get you to try a pint of Turbodog in the same way I’ll try to get you to at least read a short story by Haruki Murakami.
I would like some people to drink less because it’s clearly affecting their lives in negative ways.
I think part of it is that you’re (relatively) young, not that I’m much older.
I’ve known several people who were sanctimonious non-drinkers in their early to mid 20s. They said all beer was crap, or wondered why you need to get drunk to have fun, or whatever- they were obnoxious as shit about it. Eventually, they lightened up, and they all drink now. Actually, the only person I know who didn’t drink in his 20s and still doesn’t drink was actually not an asshole about not drinking.
Now, I have no problem with people who don’t imbibe (as others said, it’s a ready made driver), but I think “sanctimonious non-drinker” is a phase for some people that they later grow out of. I still don’t think it’s right to push alcohol on someone, but I do kind of understand why someone might.
Also, it’s incredibly rude to disparage something others are enjoying, so they’re going to try to defend it, if that’s actually what you’re doing. (What Manda Jo said.)
I mean, seriously, if you think every drinker is trying to push alcohol on you, then you should really take a long hard look at yourself or your friends.
I don’t drink, either, and I find the taste of booze repulsive as well. And I occasionally get someone who tries to convince that I need to start drinking.
Try this for a response: “No, thanks. Alcohol affects me in a strange manner and the last time I drank, I killed three people.”
Then sit back and wait for the deer in the headlights look. I love doing this.
If someone tells me they don’t like X, I stop offering X. If they tell me they don’t like X because of the taste, I stop offering X. If they tell me they sometimes like X but don’t want X right now, I stop offering X right now.
I don’t know why so many people simply can’t grasp these ideas.
I think the most sanctimonious thing I do is call my mom a lush. And even then it’s only teasing. She’s actually the sole person who tries to get me to have a drink, funnily enough.
I want to like alcohol, even if only because, like Guns says, it’s pretty much the default. It would make it easier to relax and not feel awkward when I order soda or water at a bar. But every beer I’ve tasted is unpleasant to me (and I’ve done samples at a microbrewery, went right down the line from a blonde to a stout), and although I didn’t mind vodka mixed with soda I stayed awake all that night in a cold sweat. Since I’ve never tried a lot, I don’t know what my tolerance is, so whenever I meet friends at a bar I don’t dare drink something even sweetened up. I may break down and have a glass or two of wine when I go to visit my mother for Christmas, though.
To go back to the OP, dude, while I’m with you, I’m not with you. This isn’t really about Mr. Booze, but about being cool with your friends. If your friends aren’t respecting your preferences, then you need new friends, or at least you need to lay everything out for them and ask them to lay off. And if you’re not respecting their preferences, they need a new friend. I learned a long time ago that when you don’t like something your friends like, if you don’t want to come off as an asshole you need to say “I don’t like X,” not “X is crap.” “The taste doesn’t really agree with me, sorry,” not “This tastes like shit!” The former makes clear that it’s just your preference you’re talking about, while the latter is downing on something your friends like and by implication downing on them. It’s not cool.
As to drinking, the next time one of your so called friends tries to push a drink on you, put on your war face, grab him by the throat with one hand and by his belt with the other; lift up on the belt to raise him to his toes and then run him back first into the nearest wall. Fix him with your most maniacal glare and scream “God Damn it, how many god dam times do I have to tell you I don’t fucking drink? Leave me the fuck alone about it. The next god damn time you shove a drink in my face, I’ll make you eat the fucking glass.”
That’s what I used to do and by the time the other guy was finished kicking my ass he didn’t give a damn if I drank or not.
). Course, we’re all in our 40s now, not our 20s.
