Big-city train station - almost everyone enters through one of two revolving doors. At rush hour, a line forms to go through the door. Door’s going full-tilt.
So what kind of dork comes out of the door and immediately STOPS TO LOOK AROUND?! Here I am behind said dork, blasting out the door with nowhere to go but directly into dork. People, you must step away from the revolving door so the people behind you have somewhere to go!
This rule also applies to escalators. See the line of people in front of you? Turn your head and you will see a similar line behind you. The escalator disgorges people at a predictable pace. The laws of physics suggest that two people not not occupy the same physical space at the same time. Ergo, DON"T JUST STAND THERE AT THE TOP OF THE ESCALATOR. MORON!!
Back to revolving doors. People use them in two directions simultaneously. The chamber that person A is exiting to enter the building is thereupon occupied by Person X leaving the building, followed by Person B entering and so on.
Using the laws of physics noted above, Person X can not use the chamber until the moment Person A has exited. The door is in constant motion in a counter-clockwide direction with a short window of time for A to exit and X to enter the chamber. This challenge is compounded whenever X’s trajectory for entry crosses the path of A’s point of exit or vice versa. Therefore, everyone exiting the revolving door in either direction must KEEP RIGHT rather than slanting across to the left, and everyone entering the door must KEEP LEFT.
If this is too challenging to remember, a simple tip to help imight be to HANG UP THE CELLPHONE, ASSHOLE, although in truth, a significant percentage of Revolving Dorks are phone-free and apparently just oblivious to the hundreds of people scurrying around trying desperately not to plow into them and dislodge the last remaining brain cell enabling them to walk upright.
Also, it’s helpful, when you get on the subway, not to just stop right at the doorway and block everyone else trying to get on, but to actually make your way inside.
Amen. And please do not enter the revolving doors after someone else and, in cases where the door is not heavy, PUSH IT WAY FASTER THAN THAT PERSON WAS GOING, YOU FECKING IDIOT!!! First of all, the increased speed is unexpected and may cause that person to trip forward in general, but secondly they may moving at that speed becuase they have cumbersome packages in that slice of the door with them.
This also applies for getting on and off the bus. Don’t get off the bus and stand there looking for your connecting bus, unlike you’d like to be curbstomped by angry people ACTUALLY TRYING TO GO SOMEWHERE. And also, do not get ON the bus and just stand there fiddling around looking for your bus pass, blocking the door so nobody else can get on behind you. Clear a path. It’s not that hard.
And, by the way, do not stop in the exit door of the grocery store, search for your umbrella, ask your niece to help you find your umbrella, say, “OH, I know, it’s over here!”, grope for your umbrella, ask your niece to hand you your umbrella, fumble with your umbrella, ask your niece to open your umbrella, and then carefully move out of the doorframe when there is about 20 feet of overhang after you have moved out of the door where you could have played that out, AND, it’s not even fucking raining.
Not only do some of us need to get back to work, but - frankly, no - I am “not a very nice man.”
My Whitehouse Cox briefcase weighs about the same as an anvil and has very stiff edges. People stopping at the top of the escalator are briefcase fodder.
Does this logic apply to people in cars who make lefthand turns into parking lots, then stop stranding the others behind him, also making left turns, in oncoming traffic?
I was trying to leave a grocery store once and the person ahead of me stopped in the middle of the doorway. Note that this was a double-wide sliding doorway about ten feet wide and she still managed to stop her cart in such a way that I could not get around her. Even more annoying, this was an inner door that opened into an airlock-type area which had plenty of room for her to move to one side while she did whatever she was doing before actually leaving the building.
People who stop at the top of escalators, after exiting doorways etc. are stone cold morons. The inability to understand that you are one component of a larger process like getting people into train stations up escalators is a sign of deep stupidity.
Sort of, except that whenever you make a turn across oncoming traffic, you should already have made sure that the area you’re turning into (whether it’s a street, a parking lot, whatever) has enough space for you to enter without blocking the oncoming lane.
Just as you shouldn’t enter an intersection if there’s no room for you to make it all the way across to the other side, you shouldn’t turn across traffic unless you can clear the oncoming lane completely.
If someone’s stupidity gives me no choice but to slam into them, I always make sure it’s a grand slam! A little extra shove can get the message across.
My fiancee does this almost every time she enters a shop.
I’ll be following just behind her, and all of a sudden, as if in awe of all the pretty things she could buy, she stops dead.
I’m getting better at not bumping into her, but I still feel daft standing right in the entrance blocking the way for anyone else.
Heh…I’m hypersensitive to the possibility of inconveniencing other people (whether through blocking the right-of-way or whatever). My partner…not so much. Sometimes outings in public end up with me trying to push/pull/cajole him into moving out of the lane of traffic, and him getting irritated with me for doing so. It’s not that he’s rude (any Dope who’s met him can tell you he’s not)…he just has a very subjective sense of how long he’s standing in the way.