Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three rights make a left.
Or something.
::hairball::
Oh, so you are Mr Perfect, and never have contradictory thoughts? Should I bow to your superior nature?
Well, at least we both agree that you’re a douchebag. And here I thought we had nothing in common.
In nearly 2,000 posts - nearly 2,000 interactions with other rational intelligent members of this board, you are the first to call me a negative fucker.
I don’t think I’m the problem there snookems.
And while I am not here to make enemies, I dont’ need to be friends with everyone either. You can take your olive branch and shove it up your ass.
If I may, this would be an okay time for ivan to act like an adult and start letting some of this stuff slide. Otherwise, it’s just an endless cycle;
Poster#1: ivan’s a twit.
ivan: Well, fuck you very much.
Poster#2: I agree, ivan’s a fucking twit.
ivan: I bow to your obviously superior intellect, with my ass waving in the air. hyuck-hyuck-hyuck!
Poster#3: Twit city.
ivan: Oh, you GOT me! Twenty lashes with a wet noodle. ouch! ouch! ouch!.. ouch!
It’s too open-ended and self-reinforcing.
The ‘hand-shake’ was just for acceptance that we each have our own point of view, not as a gesture of friendship. I too don’t give a fuck about being your online chum, so we share something else in common. ( Let’s not mention music…I might even start respecting you!) . You may not have been negative before, but you are being negative about me, so what’s changed? Do you want to explain exactly why I’m a douchebag, and where this resentment comes from, or have you already wasted enough time on me? Again!
Wow! You have got me completely sussed out! You must be some kind of expert at this online character assassination…I mean analysis!
Look, I’m trying to act like an adult, but people keep coming out with sniping little remarks, and I’m not the type to humbly shut my mouth if someone is unfairly having a go at me.
Do I still need to grow up?
Emphasis added, contradiction noted.
Ivan: you are a fucking retard. If you had two brain cells to rub together for warmth you’d realise that all your behaviour so far (exemplified by this thread, which ironically you seem to think is some kind of evidence for leniency from others) has done is demonstrate that you’re a shining example of intellectual mediocrity in a forum populated by intelligent and balanced people. You don’t need to grow up so much as gain a few chromosomes and a ton of IQ points so that you can roughly resemble a member of the human species rather than the ankle-biting little Jack Russell you actually are.
No-one here thinks your behaviour is becoming, you have performed the cyber equivalent of breezing into a members only club drunk off your nut, vomiting on the carpet and proceeding to tell everyone to relax guy whilst playfully slapping one of the hosts in the face. If this is your way of entertaining yourself then please do us all a favour and go play Russian roulette with a single-shot gun.
And are you the teacher in this classroom? Pedantics aside, what’s your beef, Bryan? What law of netiquette have I breached to provoke your ire and attention?
And by rushing in and pouring fuel on a fire that was fizzling out, what does that make you?
Someone putting you on his ignore list.
You know what? That’s going to break my poor little heart. Bye!
It’s not a netiquette issue. If you wandered into a bar with a regular clientele (not quite a “members only club”, as Illuminatiprimus described, since there are no real barriers to membership here) and acted this way, you’d get a similar response. Some of the regulars might find you to be amusing and a breath of fresh air, others will find you boorish and rude and the vast majority won’t even notice.
There’s no “ire” here on my part. I never called you a fucking retard, for example, nor was I planning to. The advice I’ve given could as easily be given to any newcomer who decided to make a thread complaining about how he wasn’t fitting in around here. You’re free to ignore it, of course.
No, I’ll listen to you Bryan because you address me with reason, and without unnecessary insults. Can you tell me who I slapped in the face, so I can say sorry for waving my hand about carelessly?
By the way, feel free to enthusiastically thank me for generously deigning you permission to ignore my advice, in yet another display of what I assume you assume is biting sarcasm.
In all honesty, at this point it doesn’t matter in the least who specifically you might have offended and how to make amends. My original advice of just letting the entire issue go (with the additional advisory that you not drag it out again in future threads) stands. If in future someone disagrees with you, it’s not helpful to fall back on the “Oh, you’re so smart!” attempted sarcasm. It’s not clever or entertaining. There are other forms of sarcasm that are far better and more likely to get you noted as a wit, rather than a boor.
Anyway, this’ll be my last post to this thread, because there’s nothing more I can contribute without getting repetitive. You’re on your own.
Jack Russells are cool. None of mine will bite a human ankle, but they will run to ground and hold at bay formidable prey more than twice their size. Often a handler will have to dig the dog out from underground, as once on a target they rarely relent willingly.
They will, however, give your nose a quick kiss if it comes in range.
But if you thought I was a retard and a douchebag, you’d let me know, wouldn’t you Bryan? There’s nothing worse than ambiguity on a message board. 
Why you’re a douchebag? I can only speculate - you were born that way? Hard work and dedication?
The resentmet? You must be kidding. No one is really that dense. You insult me at least three times in the hunting thread. Is it not obvious by now that I am a hunter? Did you really think I wouldn’t take offense to your remarks?
Then, you start a thread to pit me. You started an entire thread to call me a smacked arse and you wonder what beef I have with you? To be honest, I have no idea what a smacked arse is, but I’m going to go ahead and take offense to it until I hear otherwise.
Here’s another little bit of advice for you: If you want people to talk to you instead of just being annoyed by you, you’d have better luck not telling them to fuck themselves.
Just wanted to wish you well on your flame-out, ivan. Your blatant condescension toward those proffering good advice about how to communicate here has done nothing but make your hole considerably deeper than it already was. The fact that you put yourself on an intellectual pedestal while simultaneously provoking others into accepting whatever you call this behavior makes you anything but an adult. You can be as eloquent as you want in constructing your points, but it is your clear lack of respect and decency for others which indicates to us that you are far from any level of mental maturity. Respecting points of view that conflict with your own is a big part of what will make you welcome here, but given every post I’ve read of yours, you don’t seem familiar with that concept. I hope you enjoy the remainder of what, at this rate, will be a brief stay here.
And illuminati, that was a fantastic post. 