Not the pizza delivery stuff so much, just the general weirdness and interaction with weirdos and bizarre questions and situations. I’m always feeling like I will end up in some bizarre media story where I accidentally get mistaken for a international terrorist or accidentally deported to Albania or something.
I sometimes stop myself from posting something because I feel like everyone will assume I am nuts.
grude, please accept this tinfoil hat. I made it myself 
As did I for eight years or so, in various areas from upscale suburbs to sketchy ghettos to the heart of downtown, from gated country clubs to apartments to hospitals to skyscrapers, and it doesn’t sound familiar to me either. Then again I tended not to “pull over for some reason,” nor would I have been inclined to stop for random people in a neighborhood “flagging me down.” I took the deliveries to whoever ordered them, and the only other people to deal with might’ve been a security guard or receptionist. Comments from others tended to be “mmm, that smells good!” and “got any extra for me? Heh heh heh!”
Glad to hear the OP’s employed, though. Are you working directly for a pizza restaurant, or just taking pizzas you happen to find in other people’s cars and reselling them?
“For the last time lady, we didn’t order any pizza, and anyways that’s a bowling pin in your hand.”
I believe the word is “butchticity.”
Weird things do happen on pizza delivery though. I did it (well, general food delivery actually) what must have been under three months as a summer job and was threatened on two occasions, and another time someone tried to take pizza by fraudulantly representing themselves as the deliveree.
I can easily imagine that in a small minded little town to someone who looks as nuts as Diamonds probably does (I’m kind of imagining Elaine Davidson) this sort of strange thing happening. I do agree with grude’s point there are some people here who are overly skpetical due, I think, to only having lived life one way.
I believe she’s mentioned she lives in Kansas City.
[QUOTE=Diamonds02]
But yeah, I’m shocked that a lot of stuff that I post are somehow things that a lot of dopers have never experienced or observed.
[/QUOTE]
That’s because most of what you post is exagerrated bullshit, and you end up dialing back your claims once called on it.
Nothing of the sort was going around. You described yourself as such unprompted.
You are a troll. And a fairly successful one, I have to admit. Well done with all the trolling.
Have I told you lately that I love you?
Doodly noted.
snrrrrrrrrrrk bwahahahahahahahaha! The stealing flowers from wakes to resell thing must have dried up.
Pizza delivery business permits must be one of those job-killing regulations dreamed up by Obama’s czars.
Or “butchitude”.
Tell 'em you’re Papa John.
Or Little Caesar. That should work. Seriously, that is what I would do.
Shit!
So… Maybe she exaggerated the KC part to sound cool?
A long shot (really long), but I’ll take it.
Net 'tards, unite!
Ah, the small town of Kansas City, such a pastoral little burg where the po’ sit on their front porches and harass passing pizza drivers, there are free funeral bouquets for everyone, and fish fall from the sky to be sold at the local farmer’s market.
Why do you get all the good lines?
I used to deliver pizzas for a while. I had a real job until I asked my boss if he’d rather I continue doing a poor job or if he would lower my responsibilities and pay. He lowered my responsibilities and pay completely! I couldn’t find anything else, I guess I’m a victim of my own education. Someone said I would make a good used car salesman but I took it as an insult/backhanded compliment and never pursued it. I needed some fast money so I asked myself, “what can I easily get in large quantities that sells well legally?” Pizza!
The job turned out okay. I really liked delivering to yuppies because they sit in their backyards and mind their own business. Po folks sit in front and stare at you when you’re delivering a pizza like you’re on stage or something, they have a very street level mentality. I would just get so frustrated I’d honk at them and yell “shouldn’t you be inside cooking breakfast or something!” I could never try something like that in the yuppie neighborhood, those white pexople are so sensitive to loud noises. But it all sorted itself out in the winter. The po folks all went inside, because African Americans have a well known aversion to cold temperatures. I had to laugh, I just think it’s funny when people act according to racial stereotypes!
One night i came across a real crazy bitch. I read a poll somewhere that said crazy women are better in bed. I offered her double sausage with free extra cheese and winked. I got to cross quite a few things off my sexual to-do list that night! She was such a freak I was really looking forward to future hookups, but in the morning she apologized and said she had been off her meds. She had mistakenly thought I was a big black butch 300lb lesbian. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt on that one, even though I’m clearly a big white soft 200lb hetero male with an overactive imagination.
Things went okay after that until one night I was looking for an address and someone called the cops on me for shining a bright flashlight in their window. I mean, there’s not a law against it or anything, but my boss found out about it. He said customers had been complaining about me packing a pistol in their neighborhoods and that so much crazy stuff seemed to happen to me that he didn’t even believe I was a real person. He canned my ass and I probably could have sued but I don’t have access to a lawyer.
To be fair, if a pizza delivery girl were trying to dig up my flowers to sell back to me, I’d probably ask her full name too.
Emtar KronJonDerSohn that was beautiful!