I pit stupid metaphors!

The BBQ Pit
1

I think I actually became stupider when I read this:

I know that very few people have the gift of extemporaneous speaking, but GOD! I hope to hell that Reid realized how dumb it sounded as soon as it left his mouth, and was thinking about it the rest of the day.

“‘Less teeth than a toothless tiger’? What the fuck was I thinking? Good going, Harry.”

This is the kind of metaphor that burns skin like… that’s like a rabbit that… has fewer brain cells than… I can’t even DELIBERATELY think of a metaphor that dumb! And I’m trying!

2

Metaphors? Aren’t these similes?

3

This is the kind of dumb metaphor that gives dumb metaphors a really bad name. :eek:

This proposal has less teeth than the Tooth Fairy. :smack:

4

Kimstu

No. A simile has this type of construction: “as quiet as a mouse”.

And if nothing else, shouldn’t Senator Reid have said that the proposal has “fewer teeth , etc”?

5

The practice mentioned in this thread is as annoying as a really annoying thread, like the thread that stitches the dickhole shut on a crappy pair of shorts.

That metaphor is like a simile

6

A simile is a metaphor introduced by either the word “like” or the word “as.”

7

This thread has become the pimpled television of my November evening.

8

Would you perhaps be satisfied with “fewer teeth than a toothless tiger”?

That is to say, exactly what wolf meister proposed several posts back?

The shame burns with the fire of a thousand toothless tigers.

9

[QUOTE=wolf_meister]
Kimstu

No. A simile has this type of construction: “as quiet as a mouse”.

And if nothing else, shouldn’t Senator Reid have said that the proposal has “fewer teeth , etc”?
[/QUOTE]
You mean like the supermarket isle that says, “Ten items or less.” Well, it doesn’t really bother me much; then I saw sign that said: “No more than 10 items.” That seems like a good way to say it. But is this really about stupid metaphors?

10

A bad metaphor is like fitting wheels to a tomato.

11

[QUOTE=Leaper]
“‘Less teeth than a toothless tiger’? What the fuck was I thinking? Good going, Harry.”

This is the kind of metaphor that burns skin like… that’s like a rabbit that… has fewer brain cells than… I can’t even DELIBERATELY think of a metaphor that dumb! And I’m trying!
[/QUOTE]
Number 1. His error had nothing to do with metaphor.
2. It was about count vs. non-count nouns.
3. Before you pit, learn your grammar.
4. If the brain cells of rabbits concern you so much, then get out of rhetoric and go into zoology.

12

[QUOTE=Leaper]
hope to hell that Reid realized how dumb it sounded as soon as it left his mouth…
[/QUOTE]
I’d like to have a tape recorder on YOUR mouth 24-hours a day…

13

[QUOTE=Mangetout]
A bad metaphor is like fitting wheels to a tomato.
[/QUOTE]
Anything about eating makes sense to you,** Mange**. And the tomatoes in my back yard are glorious. It’s gazpacho every day.

But a bad metaphor is not about grammar: it’s about bad collocations:

      " Gophers are the ruin of the steel industry."
14

“The proposal has less teeth than a toothless tiger” is indeed a metaphor; while literally true, it glosses over the fact that proposals do not literally have teeth in any case, and instead speaks of proposals as though they ought to have teeth.

“This metaphor is as lame as a very lame thing on crutches with a stone in its shoe”, on the other hand, is a simile.

15

What’s a metaphor? Grazing cows.

16

[QUOTE=Khadaji]
What’s a metaphor? Grazing cows.
[/QUOTE]

You know, that really doesn’t work in English pronunciation. :smiley:

17

[QUOTE=Malacandra]
You know, that really doesn’t work in English pronunciation. :smiley:
[/QUOTE]

Hmm. How about- What’s a metaphor? Conducting symphonies!

I know, it doesn’t work either, but it’s got more class than a very classy cow wearing high heels.

18

[QUOTE=Malacandra]
“The proposal has less teeth than a toothless tiger” is indeed a metaphor; while literally true, it glosses over the fact that proposals do not literally have teeth in any case, and instead speaks of proposals as though they ought to have teeth.

“This metaphor is as lame as a very lame thing on crutches with a stone in its shoe”, on the other hand, is a simile.
[/QUOTE]

It also glosses over the tautology. Less teeth than a toothless goldfish would be equally accurate. If he had said the proposal was “a toothless tiger” that would be a perfectly good metaphor, but as it is it’s just as awkward as a fart in church.

19

I didn’t say it was a good metaphor, I just said it was a metaphor. Don’t you have a metaphor to mow unreasonably quickly, or something?

20

Stupid metaphors are like boxes of chocolate . . .