I’m looking for some help on mixed metaphors you have heard. My favorite that my father always says is: That’s a horse of a different feather that has lost his color.
I used to work with a woman who once said, “That’ll stick out like a red herring.”
Don’t know if this counts, but I once said “I’m running around like a head with my chicken cut off.”
– Sylence
“The problem with reality is the lack of background music.” – Anon
This is stolen from Win Ben Stein’s Money
“Don’t look a whore’s gift in the mouth”
and my personal favorite:
“We were like two ships sinking in the night.”
I use to work with a woman who was from Yugoslavia and spoke excellent english. She would occasionally mix her metaphors. The best one was
“I’m a nervous basket”
When she meant to say, " I’m a basket case."
These are GREAT! Keep them coming folks!
I have a coworker who uses
“Well, that’s water under the dam.”
I guess that’s a mix between water OVER the dam and water UNDER the bridge.
My favorite, albeit a bit off of this topic, is the Ted Kennedy response (probably made-up but great any way) to some future event:
“We’ll drive off of that bridge when we get to it.” he he he!!
“The intellectuals’ chief cause of anguish are one another’s works.”
Jacques Barzun
Cheers! CAL
[ul][li]We’ll burn that bridge when we cross it.[/li][li]Up s**t creek without a paddle.[/li][li]Close the barn door after you’ve led the horse to water.[/li][li]There’s more that one way to skin the cat out of the bag.[/li][li]Don’t count all your eggs in one basket.[/li][li]He who hesitates hasn’t leapt first.[/li][li]Early to bed and late to rise, and your girl goes out with other guys.[/li][/ul]
Take that to the bank and smoke it.
Or, Put that in your Pope and smoke it.
People tell me one thing one day and out the other.
Does the Pope shit in the woods?
Run it up the flag pole and see what sticks.
Well, that’s more metaphors than you can walk softly and shake a big stick at. In this board there are too many chiefs who are drunk as ten Indians. No racism intended; that would be the pot calling another kettle of fish. Speaking of which, you can give a man one and he eats for a day, but those who can’t fish, teach. You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think. Don’t carry all your tunes in one bucket. It is better to light a candle than to curse how many it takes to screw in a lightbulb. Fuck you AND the horse’s mouth. It’s my way or the highway, buster, and I’m living life in the turn lane. Thank you for your time and temperature.
War is hell on wheels. Love is a thorn.
The squeaky wheel gets the elbow grease; oil and water flock together. A rose by any other name smells after 3 days; stop to consider the lillies; seize the daisies. If the shoe fits, it is on the other foot. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single foot in the mouth. Glass houses make good neighbors. You’ll be laughing out of the other side of next week. One man’s mate is another man’s bison. You can’t tell a book by its feathers. A bird in the hand is the Devil’s workshop; it is the goose that laid the bad apple. If wishes were horses, beggars would eat like French kings. If a tree falls on a mime, does it make a sound? The cat is out of the wet paper bag. There is honey and vinegar in the fly ointment. The ox is slow, but the sword is a plowshare. Guns or butterflies are free to fly into the flame. If you hang around a barbershop long enough, sooner or later you will get fleas. Misery loves strange bedfellows.
Man, you guys are good! I knew this would be the place to ask this question! Thank you and more MORE!
The moon looks on many flowers, the flowers on but one moon.
In a book titled * How to Avoid Matrimony, *author Herald Froy makes an interesting comment about the broadcast media coaxing men into marriage:
Änd even when television has its octopus feelers in the pie."
Not as funny as the rest, but one of my favorites:
“We’re just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year, running over the same of ground, and have we found the same old fears, wish you were here”
Pink Floyd, lyrics by Roger Waters
A bird in the hand is better than a gift horse in the mouth.
Why buy the cow when the gift horse is free?
It’s always darkest before the storm. Still waters and oil don’t mix. Don’t count your chickens before the well runs dry. Every thorn has a silver lining. She’s the apple of a pig’s eye. He who laughs last has the best medicine. Don’t bite off more than a bitter pill to swallow. Wake up and spill the beans. Too many cooks peed on your wienies.
TennHippie I just have to ask: Too many cooks peed on your weenies?
I love it! But is it a combo of “too many cooks spoil the broth” and … well, what? I don’t know any that have weenies in them! Oh boy, I can see that sentence getting me in trouble! Let me know some more on this one!
And a big hug here, folks, I asked this same question in other boards and got a big zip in response. Thanks to all who have shared. Even the non-sequitur Pink Floyd thing (were you looking for the thread, Breathe, Breathe in the air?) Or am I not getting it? That thread is hysterical! I keep hearing, Heave, heave at the fair every time I hear that song on the radio now!
The moon looks on many flowers, the flowers on but one moon.
All the world’s a stage and everybody plays the fool. No man is an island port in the storm. When it rains, make lemonade. I don’t mean to burst your parade. Let them eat cake and have it, too. Don’t bite the hand that knows what the left hand is doing. Blood is thicker than turnip juice. Small acorns don’t fall far from the tree. Don’t cut off your nose to bury the hatchet. To make an omelette, you gotta break a leg. Sink or swim against the current. There’s plenty of fish in the sea to fry. You made your bed, now lay with dogs. A watched pot is half empty; a jug of wine is half full. The pin is tidier than the sword. There’s a fox in the cathouse. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel of monkeys.
Hey Byz: The Reverend moons many flower children; the followers on one Rev. Moon.
TennHippie you keep this up and I’m gonna fall in love!