What the fuck, Subway? Really, what the FREAKING FUCK were you thinking? Even if your ad agency does employ bonobos with learning disabilities to write your ad campaigns, why in the name of Jesus Christ the everlasting Son of the Father would you actually APPROVE of it and let it RUN on NATIONAL TELEVISION???
You were already losing me when you decided that your cheese list would basically be stacked towards “mild American and its variants,” but this, I think, just cements my disgust.
Is it true that, unlike basically every fast food place ever, Subway won’t give you a cup of water if you ask for one, and instead makes you buy their overpriced bottled water? I heard this from someone recently, and if that’s the case, I’m never going to buy another goddamn sub from those greedy, environment-hating bastards again.
“Deli?” You dare to use the word “deli” to describe Subway and its ilk? That’s a greater crime than “yum rocket” if you ask me.
Shit, you can barely call what these chains make “sandwiches.” If I didn’t know any better, they’re probably calling them yum rockets because of some looming threat from the FDA to reclassify all their menu items as objects capable of surviving an uncontrolled atmospheric re-entry.