My method for keeping the stress down when dealing with a voice-response system is just to pretend that I’m talking to an especially dim human, particularly when I know the answer I’m looking for isn’t in their system. So, when it asks me which of the following I want to do, I just talk to it. After a few “I’m sorry; I didn’t get that. Did you say you want to talk about billing?” it’ll usually send me of to an actual human to talk to.
So this thread isn’t about TreeBeard’s summer job, then?
While I share your frustration, I happen to know that some systems record what you say and pass this along to the agent just before the agent comes on line, ostensibly to prepare him/her for what they are about to encounter.
I know this because once upon a time, I babbled some nonsensical sounds when the computer wasn’t understanding me like “abbabbabbalabbababa,” and when the operator come online, she was able to repeat back to me the same nonsensical pattern in her own voice!
So I now talk back to the computer too, but nothing more offensive than saying, “You stupid computer, get me a human!”
Post #7 
clap! clap! clap! BRAVO! That was a very entertaining rant.
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