Olives, you’re a good egg. 
Fine. Now that you’ve finished (I trust?) justifying yourself, how about a straight-out apology to the person you called a liar?
I have nothing to apologize for. My questions were justified (and I didn’t call her a liar).
Wrong, IMO
True, but I think you were waaaay too confrontational in how you put them
ETF already addressed that. You did. Face it.
Can’t you just admit, for once, that you were straight out wrong?
I meant that I didn’t believe her over the top reaction to my questioning the incongruity of her posts (i.e. “I don’t believe this defensive, hectoring shit about a perfectly valid question”).
I still don’t actually KNOW she isn’t a troll, by the way. I think she probably isn’t now, but no apology for my legitimate suspicions will ever be forthcoming, so don’t hold your breath. Whether her stories can ultimately be reconciled is beside the point. I was not out of line in finding them initially incongruent.
What was I wrong about?
“Your stories don’t match. Fuck you, I don’t believe you” does not equal “You overreacted to perfectly justified questions.”
You pathetic piece of shit, you just can’t ever admit you’re wrong, can you?
That you treated her as a liar. Weasel weasel weasel all you will, that’s exactly what you did, and that’s exactly what you owe her an apology for, no matter how justified you’ve convinced yourself you were.
I treated her with suspicion. That suspicion was justifified and why is everyone acting like her story’s been proven true when it hasn’t? It might be true. I’d even say I’d accept is as probably true, but it’s not like all doubts have been definitively put to rest. Who the fuck are you to tell me what I may or may not doubt?
What if he still doesn’t believe her? If anyone should be offended by Dio, it is olives and she says she isn’t. I’m sure that there are plenty of more people upon whose behalf you can still take offense though. Only two so far today but it’s still early.
About olives being a troll/liar? About coming out with both guns blazing only to find there aren’t any bad guys there who need shooting?
I’ll apologize to you. I’m sorry I blew up at you, Diogenes. The sooner I learn not to take comments like yours personally, the happier I will be and the less likely these situations are to escalate. While you could have put your inquiry more tactfully, my response completely escalated the situation. I always feel so good about writing the angry posts but second-guess myself afterwards. Next time I’ll walk away for 10 minutes–yes, ten whole minutes away from the computer
:eek:–and come back once I’m more calm.
Sattua, making this thread was not attention whoring. Trotting out ‘‘I have PTSD’’ in every thread about sex or sex related matters instead of doing my best to fit in and be positive-- THAT would be attention whoring. I’ve felt that I’ve mentioned PTSD/mental health stuff a lot in other threads and have made the decision to actively tone it down a bit so that people understand there is more to Olives than a rough history. (And you know what? I still have memories of times with that evil man who abused me that make me laugh and miss him–(’‘Christy, for the love of god, if you learn one thing from me in all your life let it be how to properly fold a fajiita.’’) Despite my mother’s craziness I could construct a completely factual post lauding her for all the wonderful things she has done for me, that don’t mention all the times she ripped me apart. It is because of the strength I saw in her that I made it through college. Maybe someday I’ll share something like that in some other post and have to account for it again. And again I’ll be there to explain the seeming discrepancy. One of the biggest problems with PTSD is the inability to see things in shades of gray–either all bad or all good. I am learning to integrate the black truth with the white truth–that my parents could be wonderful at times despite being seriously abusive at other times.)
When I respond to these kinds of threads, you may not be getting the whole story, but you are getting the part of the story I am comfortable with sharing at the time, or the part of the story that is most important to me at that given moment, the part that resonates as most relevant to the question.
I made this Pit thread in a moment of loneliness and terror for my future and real grief… I do not regret it because the support I received help me turn my attitude around fast and got me through a very rough time. But this thread does not invalidate the times I enjoy sex and fantasize about sex and think about sex, it does not mean I am doomed to spend the rest of my life feeling sorry for myself because of my past. Conversely, it means I have hope and I will seize every opportunity here and in other forums to construct a positive sense of sexuality in spite of the negative things I have experienced.
I can’t prove to anyone I was abused. I once felt the need to. Sometimes I get frustrated–mostly when shelling out thousands of dollars for therapy–that I can’t go sue my stepfather or have him put away for a good, long time. There is no physical evidence and the only witness was my mother, who has extremely varying versions of the truth depending on her mood. When the cops came to investigate at 17, I was so humiliated and confused I didn’t even file a police report. This is incredibly frustrating, not to have proof, especially when the message seems to be that if I were somehow to furnish proof than justice would be served, I would get respect and integrity back that was lost, that my family would support me. It’s all a fantasy that can never come true.
You will find that I am quite the skeptic when it comes to shit like ‘‘recovered memories’’ and hypnotherapy and people suddenly ‘‘remembering’’ abuse out of the blue. Even though there is one particular incident (among scores I remember and have always remembered) I have always struggled to remember clearly that always seems to trigger intense flashbacks, I am dubious about the notion of ‘‘blocking out’’ painful memories and would be highly suspicious of anything I ‘‘recovered.’’ I am also annoyed by molestation hysteria especially because, personally, it seems like hypocrisy to me to vilify child molestation in the media but ignore it when it’s convenient, when you happen to personally like the guy who did the molesting. People get irrational and believe irrational things, and therapists are not immune to this by any means. And as ‘‘I’m a Child Molester’’ OP demonstrated in MPSIMS, innocent people get hurt by jumping to conclusions.
So in that sense, Diogenes, I applaud your skepticism.
But on a personal level, it still hurts.
If I can’t prove this in a court of law, I sure as hell can’t prove it on an internet message board. In my life it’s not a matter of proving anymore, it’s a matter of just getting through the grief and pain and accepting that some people will believe and others won’t.
- When was it proven that she’s NOT a troll/liar?
- When did I ever positively assert that she was? I said she “might be jerking us around.” I said that with justification.
Well, he has the “Cynic” right in his name there. He’s not exactly mis-representing himself.
I don’t think that word means what you think it means.
olives, you are indeed a class act.
Seconded.
For the record, I accept Olives’ explanation and I believe her now, but I’m not sorry the seeming disparities in her posts gave me doubts and I’m not sorry I said so. I’m not into giving insincere apologies.
I don’t actually get where you’re going with this. Diogenes acted very much like a cynic, which means exactly what I thought it meant. 
(If you were making a joke, sorry for making you explain your joke - other than the reference to The Princess Bride, I’m not following.)