Time travelling space aliens? Absurd.
Everyone knows that cookies are made by elves.
Little known fact: Everything reported by The Onion is absolutely true. Folks just pretend it’s satire to discredit them.
Kozmik, I know that the above sounds patronizing and absurd, but I think that Yumblie did a fantastic job of recreating what your logic looks like to us - completely non-sensical and disjointed. You present a bunch of unassailable facts (there are 192 nations, Obama is the president of the United States, etc.), and make a giant leap and state something that has absolutely nothing to do with those facts, and declare your point made. Taking a brief glimpse at your past posting history (which has no similarities to your current posting behavior), I’d have to say that I agree with Marley - please consider talking to a mental health professional. The ideas you’re presenting, as well as the manner in which you are doing it, are consistent with mental illness.
BTW I have no idea why the opening line to a late 70s TV show is stuck in my head all these years later. And its on Youtube!
Because a tiny group was behind the Sept 11. attacks.
I do not believe that any nation was behind the Sept 11. attacks.
I believe that Al Qaeda was behind the Sept. 11 attacks. I believe that the Illuminati is behind Al Qaeda and that someone is behind the Illuminati.
I present facts because facts are the only thing that apparently can be agreed upon.
Do you mean like this:
Or like this:
I’m going to describe how I generally go about my day. I sleep, I wake up, I read The New York Times, I go to work, I come home from work, I post on The Straight Dope Message Board. Repeat. Sometimes I read The New York Times after work. Sometimes I have a day off from work. Sometimes I don’t sleep. I always read The New York Times.
I have OCD.
The only indication that I have OCD is that I read The New York Times, that you will see me at Starbucks or Jimmy John’s for an hour each and every day and you will realize that I read The New York Times every day. The cashier at Starbucks or Jimmy John’s might wonder why I always read The New York Times. I don’t tell them. In fact, they worry when they don’t see me for a week. I’ll get The New York Times sometimes from other newsstands and read it wherever.
So, in RL, I’m known as the guy who reads The New York Times; on the SDMB, I’m known as the guy who reads The New York Times and believes in conspiracy theories. I want to keep it that way. I don’t talk about politics, or conspiracy theories for that matter, at work. I keep it to myself and the SDMB. I don’t want to be vilified for my beliefs or for my OCD. I just want to be understood.
Do you trust the NYT?
I should add that your life doesn’t sound too bad, quite comfortable, in fact. You’d hardly think it was controlled by a shadowy, sinister group like the Illuminati. Reminds me of my brother-in-law who tells me that we’re under the thumb of the New World Order or the Bilderberg group or something, while relaxing with his coffee and donut at Tim Horton’s.
One of my favorites.
Completely surreal, meta, amusing, hilarious, absurd, and original in a dark and offbeat way, and somehow still stays unpretentious and approachable for more average audiences.
Sort of like this thread.
Have you considered that that someone is The Grapist?
Ironically the illuminati is actually the editorial staff of the New York Times.
Like Cracked once said:
“Conspiracy theories suck. Conspiracy theorists are suckers.”
The problem with the default position is that it is anti-conspiracy propaganda.
Yes. I trust the NYT and the SDMB, even though the NYT and the SDMB are controlled by the Illuminati.
Yes.
They have no choice. Read the NYT article, Egypt’s New President Is Being Undercut by State-Run Media to understand what I mean:
[QUOTE=The New York Times, July 14, 2012]
That apparently contradictory result has made it clear who still holds the real power over the Egyptian bureaucracy. On Tuesday, for example, Mr. Morsi summoned back into session the democratically elected Parliament that the generals had dissolved after a hurried court ruling. But the headline in Al Ahram reported only the statement of the ruling generals: “The armed forces belong to the people and will remain on the side of the constitution and legitimacy.”
The only front-page article to focus on Mr. Morsi’s decision to recall the Parliament blamed it for causing the Egyptian stock market to tank.
…
But in the continuing standoff between Mr. Morsi and the generals, almost no one can say for sure who is in charge.
“It is like a psychological war in our midst, and no knows what is going on,” said Mohamed Salem, 26, selling cigarettes in the street because he could not find a job.
…
But the front page of its English-language weekly took an opposite tack to undercut the president by portraying him as the pawn of Washington.
[/QUOTE]
And Washington is the pawn of the Illuminati.
Not exactly.
Ah yes, the old “I’m not a moron, I’m a troll - dance, puppets, dance!” defense. Works every time.
See a shrink.
I have OCD.
If I’m going to see a shrink, it will not be because of my belief in conspiracy theories.
Oh, well, that explains why you believe a lot of stupid shit about global conspiracies- wait, no it doesn’t. See a shrink because of your delusions about conspiracy theories. OCD seems like no big deal by comparison (although I realize it’s very debilitating for some people).
If I’m going to see a shrink, it will only be because of my OCD. Asshole.
I don’t know why I’m doing this, but WTH…
Kozmik Your logic seems to be as follows:
1.)There are countries.
2.)There are organizations that are not countries, like Al-Qaeda.
3.)???
4.)Therefore, the Illuminati exist.
It’s step three that people aren’t getting. Please explain it in detail, as though you were speaking to a moderately intelligent high-school student.
Tell him how the Stuxnet virus convinced you that the Illuminati run the world and one guy runs the Illuminati. He’ll be ever so fascinated.
So, what was the point of all the bullshit about how many nations there are in the world if you can recognize that a group does not have to be a nation to take an action?
Your “logic” seems to be that since a small group pulled off a terrorist attacks, they must be controlled by a sinister force behind them. And, having leaped that chasm of illogic, you then go on to insist that the imaginary sinister force for which you have provided no reason to assume they exist, must also be controlled by a smaller, (probably unitary), sinister force.
You have still not explained why you have created this Occam-dulling multiplicity of forces.
We know that Osama bin Laden was a zealot Wahhabist who was offended by both the (Western) playboy lifestyles of the Saudi princes and by the presence of “infidel” Americans in Saudi Arabia “defiling” the holy land of Mecca and Medina, (ironically, defending that country from an Iraqi threat).
We know that bin Laden, coming from a very wealthy family, had great wealth, himself, and access to more wealth from others whom he persuaded to finance him.
We know that he wanted to inflict harm on the U.S. to get them to withdraw from Saudi Arabia.
We know who he recruited to plan the operation.
We know who he recruited to carry out the operation.
At what point do you think bin Laden requires some shadowy force to persuade him to take the actions he did. There is no need for Illumnati backing to explain what happened, so what makes you insist–clearly without any evidence–that there is one?
Do you think that the Illuminati made Henry Ford design an automotive empire?
Do you think the Illuminati compelled Edison to assmble a team to crank out hundreds of inventions?
Do you think that the Illuminati made Bill Gates start up Microsoft, (well, that one might be likely)?
Do you really think that no humans are capable of doing anything without a conspiracy behind them? (Because, with all the evidence we have regarding bin Laden and the complete lack of evidence for any group behind bin Laden, that seems to be what you are saying, that any remarkable event cannot have occurred just because the right person decided on his or her own to try something.)
= = =
(And, if you continue to dodge responding to WHY you have these beliefs, I am going to be forced to conclude that one (or both) of the groups challenging you in this thread are correct, that you are mentally ill or a troll, or both. So, for the last time, WHY do you hold these beliefs?)
It’s not OCD. Or maybe that is a part of it. You are showing a total disconnect with reality. I don’t mean your conclusions about who is running the world. It’s the fact that you keep quoting and citing things that in no way correlate to the point you think you are making and you think they make perfect sense. It’s like information aphasia. I have dealt with a lot of people who need to seek care. You are falling right into those patterns. It’s not because I don’t believe your ideas. But I know that your problems will also not allow you to understand this. I won’t poke you any more and I hope you get help before it gets worse.