Working (and walking) in a hospital has taught me a lot of patience. I often get stuck behind slowpokes in the hallway. But instead of getting mad, I am thankful that I’m not a 300 pound stabbing victim with alzheimers and two broken legs.
On the other hand, crowds often gather around the entrance to the conference room by where I need to walk. The typical response to “excuse me” is “moo.”
mmmm… Three-abreast women… mmmm…
carry on.
GTFOMW is the only way you can get across the quad at school during a passing period or at lunch. If I try to be polite, I’ll never make it to my meeting in time. Besides, they’re only students. I outrank them! Other teachers have taken to following in my wake, because I can plow through the throng when they can. Mass and attitude has its place sometimes.
This also works on the sidewalks of Vegas. I believe I have ranted on this fact.
Well I have no money so you’ll have to settle for something else. I just liked the word and couldn’t remember if I had it right.
As to the OP, generally I don’t like people. I admit it freely. 85% or more of people annoy the hell out of me. That’s because 85% or more of people are annoying.
I have never ever shouted at anyone to get out of my way. But I still do get irritated. It’s for a brief moment, it’s not like I’m feeding off my rage for days!
As for driving…well, I would like people to at least drive the speed limit when possible - you know, sunny clear conditions and all that. I don’t really comprehend why people choose to drive 32 in a 40 mph zone. I’m not driving 40 or 45 because I particularly want to get home early, I’m driving it because driving is a source of pleasure to me and I like to drive fast. I don’t speed a lot but I like to take what pleasure I can get. But when these people get in front of me I roll my eyes and back off.
Walking is the only time it really annoys me. I walk at a certain pace and I like to maintain that pace. That pace is fast. And in the grocery store - I want to get my shopping and go home to relax!
Cool. Have your people contact my people.
If you agree with this, that is all I would ask for.
What about the people who will not even move out of the way when you do say excuse me? There is also the special people that stop at the end of a busy escalator instead of taking a few extra steps. Who is worse the F U person if he just grumbles and says excuse me or the actual clueless people?
I think all of this is a give and take. Some people are just oblivious and never pay any attention to what goes on around them. They generate most of the F U hostility that I think you are complaining about.
Jim
You guess wrong. “Excuse me” is usually my first option, when the person might have a reasonable expectation of not knowing someone wants to pass, but I find it less than 99% effective. I would guess more like 75%.
I am, however, this person:
When getting off a subway or bus, people exiting have priority. If you* stand in the center of the doorway and try to surge in before I exit, you will run up against me. When I can barely enter a bus because one or two people decide they don’t want to fill the back where there is plenty of room (and no one else challenges them), I will push by everyone (saying “Excuse me”), and you had best not get angry at me for your inconsideration. When you look at the escalator and see the left side moving because people are climbing, and the right side has a queue because people are standing, don’t go up the left side and stand, or I’ll push by you there too. Your inconsideration, not mine. If you and your friends are walking 4-5 abreast down the block and I’m walking in the opposite direction, I’ll move to the right, but I also expect you to allow others to pass. Do not get angry with me for not flattening against the wall for you. Lastly, when exiting a revolving door or an escalator, keep moving. Don’t get angry when the people behind you keep coming. They’ve literally nowhere else to go, and it is your own cluelessness causing collisions (and I will point that out to you). For the record, I recognize that all of these (and quite a few other) behaviors annoy me and inappropriately inconvenience others, so I make every effort to not engage in them.
I’m moving from point A to point B. Any time spent transitioning is wasted time. If your inconsideration causes me to waste even more time, don’t expect me to be overly polite. You’ll get, at most, one “excuse me”.
*Not any ‘you’ in particular, but a global, generic ‘you’.
I can understand that it’s irritating, but even if someone does get in your way, how much time have you really lost? Why get so mad about it?
And not to go off on a tangent, but does anyone think this is a predominantly US thing? I don’t tend to see the same inchoate fury from non-American dopers, or is that just because there are more US dopers in general?
And here I always thought the speed limit was a maximum, not a minimum. Consider my ignorance fought.
Personally, I think the people that don’t get out of your way are the pretentious ones. They don’t care that they may be blocking a normal person’s venture out into the hallway, the store aisle, or the parking lot.
Look aound you, if there generally tends to be more people moving around with more expediency than yourself then you are the problem, not us. I like to get from place to place efficiently, not with some lumbered, waddling, loafing gait. That is not an efficient mode of transportation for my body.
These people that get in my way the most are the people that are probably too lazy to walk normally (or at least to one side of the hallway), too lazy to look around and tend to be the kind of self-indulged people that don’t care what happens around them or who they slow up. Not everyone has infinite time to get from point A to point B.
If someone, on the rare occasion, is bearing down on my tail, I will get the hell out of their way.
Seems to me that some people just think their time is more important than everyone else’s. These are the people who feel they are inconvenienced greatly by 20 second delays and become enraged at others for inconveniencing them (just for being alive it seems at times). I think too many people forget that these are other human beings they’re shoving out of the way.
As contradictory as it may sound, I kind of, sort of agree with the OP except in 3 specific circumstances:
Driving slow as fuck in the left lane. NO. There are plenty of other lanes for you to go amble about in at whatever speed you choose. The left lane is for PASSING and instead you are BEING PASSED (on the right.) You’re a fucking idiot and you need to GTFOMW.
Pedestrians who wait until a milisecond before the “Don’t Walk” sign comes on before they start walking, and then walk at the slowest pace humanly possible. I was in the Bay Area on business recently and I could swear that those idiots do that on purpose as part of some sort of sick game. My attitude when playing the role of a pedestrian is that cars are TRYING to hit me and I act accordingly. No matter whose side the municiple laws are on, the laws of physics are on the cars’ side. These people are fucking idiots and need to GTFOMW.
People on moving sidewalks with huge signs every 30 feet that says “STAND TO THE RIGHT - WALK TO THE LEFT” who are standing side-by-side blocking the path. The worst is when they have kids with them and I wonder what other incredibly rude behaviors they’re teaching their little heathens. These people are fucking idiots and need to GTFOMW.
I don’t see “inchoate fury” from Americans either, either here or in general. Nobody is saying that they knock people to the ground and stomp their heads when they experience this significantly inconsiderate behavior.
As to how much time I’ve lost: How much time should you be allowed to essentially take from me due to nothing other than your inability to demonstrate basic consideration of others? 3 seconds? 5 seconds? 10 seconds? I don’t think it’s entirely the amount of time either. Someone blowing an airhorn near my head as I walk down the street won’t cause me to lose any time, yet I’ll be pissed off at them for doing so.
You seem to be considering only time into the equation, and not the frustration that arises from having someone else, however mildly, interfere with you for no other reason than they are exceptionally stupid.
You think it’s bad in the US? Try going to London and dawdling in the midst of pedestrian traffic. Or even better, Seoul. I think it’s a more city thing than an American thing.
I wouldn’t shove someone out of my way, but if someone is moving slowing in front of me and won’t yield, aren’t they the ones who think they are more important? If I want to go around a slow mover, I am not inconveniencing them…they can still continue to move at their preferred pace. But if they won’t let me around them, then I am NOT able to continue at MY preferred pace.
:dubious: If you want to get stereotypical about it, the area I’ve been to with the craziest, horn-honkingest, most inconsiderate drivers is the Baltic. The immigrants I’ve known with the rudest driving behaviors and highest propensity to road rage are from the Middle East. I’m not aiming to establish a counter-stereotype but rather to shoot down one you’re attempting to create.
Perhaps it’s the way I ask? 
I agree
This is what I have a problem with. In that situation, an “Excuse me” should be enough. Possibly even an “Excuse ME!”. I don’t think there’s ever a good reason to physically *push * people out of your way unless it’s a tightly-packed crowd and you have nowhere else to go because that just comes off as aggressive and unnecessarily escalates the situation.
I agree with all of these. You’ve done what you can in each case and people shouldn’t expect you to walk in the gutter to avoid them. There’s plenty of room for everyone.
And why is your time so much more precious than everyone else’s? Why barge your way through everyone when a bit more patience would make your day less stressful?
Now, now, no need to be sarcastic. You can go what speed you prefer and feel safe. All I was pointing out was I don’t comprehend it. I don’t tailgate, or honk, or gesticulate. My reaction is restrained to exactly what I said: roll my eyes, and back off - meaning drop back a couple of car lengths.
I.e., leaving you alone.
Again, I don’t drive at speed limit or slightly above to rush - I do it because I enjoy it. Driving 30 mph to me is the epitome of boredom, but of course I do it when I have to. So you’re impeding my enjoyment - it’s not that I’m trying to get somewhere. That’s how the world works, I understand that, but I reserve the right to not like it.
And I still feel it’s the obstinate people who amble along, taking up the whole sidewalk, that are the arrogant ones here. Make the whole world conform to your pace, is that it?
It also depends on the locale. I hate going to NYC and finding some of these people, but in Vermont I slow myself down quite a bit to match the locals.
Exactly. When moving from the subway station to my office, there are hundreds of people doing the same going in each direction, and the pace tends to be slower than I would generally like. I can accept that. Then we get to the escalator, as I mentioned. It doesn’t happen everyday, or even every week, but at least once a month, during the short span that I’m on the escalator, someone decides that they are too good to wait with the others who simply stand on the right, and walk up the left side and stop. Yet, the OP would fault me because I don’t acquiesce? I’m the inconsiderate one? I’m sorry if I’m not meek enough for you…ah hell, no I’m not. I’ve got no problems with the hundreds of thousands of commuters I’ve encounter over the years who ‘get it’, only with the dozens (hundreds maybe) who don’t.
You are misquoting him. He said “push by” not push. Push by is different. And no, I’m telling you, excuse me doesn’t always work. People will downright ignore you. Do you think wer’re making this up? No snark there, honestly wondering.
But if they are not in a rush, then I also must not be in a rush? Aren’t they making me conform to their time frame? And quite frankly, I don’t want to. I rather like my life fast - it’s exciting, and enjoyable. I don’t ask them to share in it, just get out of the way.