I pit the short bus passengers who previously owned my house

The BBQ Pit
61

My house has been used for some unusual things in it’s 140 years of life, which I know explain some of it’s oddities.

-Someone glued green linoleum to the hardwood floors in every single room in the house (including the stairs). Later this was covered with carpet, tile, and in some places, another layer of hardwood.

-They painted over oil paint with latex paint and no primer, causing the paint to fail and flake off in sheets down to the bare wood. On the exterior of the house.

-They painted everything with the same flat white wall paint (applied by a sprayer, we can tell by stains on the linoleum). Oak doors and old-growth redwood trim.

-The water heater was connected to it’s vent by six inches of tinfoil and duct tape.

-They took off all the downspouts for the gutters, and took them away.

-The flagstone patio they installed sloped towards the house. Specifically, it’s graded like a pitcher nozzle, to direct all water to the corner where the back porch meets the house, where it can sit in a giant puddle for weeks before seeping into the foundation.

-“Some dampness in the basement” is not 4 inches of standing water at every rainstorm, requiring french drains installed around the house, drains through the yard, and two sump pumps. The stonework they installed in the front of the house was done in such a way that turned the front yard into a “bathtub” according to our contractor. Our grass was like a swamp.

62

I bought my first house last June. It’s an old house previously owned by a divorcing couple. The house was such a shambles, it took them over a year to sell-- to us. We are still finding things.

The bedroom doors had relatively new brass handles. The kind with the big plate-- and key locks. They locked from the outside. Let me repeat that-- the bedroom doors had locks that you needed a key to get into from the outside.

They did absolutely no yardwork for ever a year. One of the first things we did was trim the hedges against the house that had grown taller than the windows. Our neighbors came out t thank us.

The overgrowth in the backyard covered a workout bench, two car batteries and three tires-- the small kind of tires that go on recreational three wheelers. Oh, and two of those highway barrels. The bright orange ones that hold either water or sand.

An original to the house stained glass window had 3 holes in it that they covered with duct tape.

A drop ceiling in the kitchen with two light boxes that held florescent tube lights. Or so we thought. When we tried to replace the bulbs in the box with the burned out bulbs we discovered that there was only one light box up there. The other plastic light cover in the drop ceiling was just for decoration I guess.

In wall between the master and the tiny baby bedroom next to it there’s an exhaust fan. No, I don’t know why.

63

When Dad hacked his way down the side of the house, neighbours from across the road said that they had not realised there was a path down the side of the house, such was the forest the previous owners had left.

64

Reading some of your posts reminded me of a couple more “Perrys” we found in our house.

Our basement has a finished rec-room with a drop ceiling. There are two florescent lighing units in the room thus making it quite bright and cheery. One problem, we kept blowing lights. Fearing that there was a wiring problem we removed the units, capped the wires, used floor lamps and gave our electrician friend a call. We were prepared to pay to have him rewire our basement. Oh! No need to do that! The previous owners had been using the wrong bulbs in the ballasts so when we went to replace them, we just bought the same bulbs we found in there. Hence, the pepetual blowing of the lamps! I could understand if they had not been the ones to install the lights in the first place, but they did install them. How do you not check to see which bulb to use???

This one kills me, and makes me irate every time I think about it. In our dining room there is a fireplace. Now, once upon a time, it was a wood-burning fireplace but the ever so creative Perry’s decided to convert it to a gas burning. That would’ve been fine but they left the orginal flue in and didn’t bother to install any fans to blow the heat out into the room. Now when I say it’s a gas fireplace, I’m not talking about those fancy Majestic fireplaces you see in newer homes with the blowers and the glass shield and the tiny vents that go outdoors. No, this has a gas line run up the mantle base then there’s an electric igniter such that you would find on a gas grill. It hisses so loudly that you can’t hear yourself complain. Also, the instructions say that you should open a window for ventilation when using the damn thing. After hemming and hawing about what to do with the thing, we’ve decided to convert it back to a wood burner.

Ah yes, I almost forgot! When they moved in the garage was already in place. It’s a two car with two separate doors. Now, they decided they wanted to build a workshop, so they built one that butts up to the side of the garage and it looks like a little barn. Did I mention there is no access door to the garage? Did I mention that they didn’t bother to add one when they built the barn? So, if the power goes out, and I want to get to my car, I have to go into the barn, climb up onto a counter, try to wriggle through a window, climb over our bicicycles and into the garage. Then I have to try to climb on top of my car to disengage the opener so I can manually open the door. Now, this is an older model opener so there is no red cord I can pull to disengage the thing. No, I have to get my tools out.
If I forgot my tools and my flashlight then I’m somewhat screwed. On second thought, I think I’ll just call in sick to work.

65

God, welcome to my world. My house was built in the early 50s and has had untold add-ons and renovations in the meantime, the overall effect of which seems to have been making sure you can’t get to any of the wiring.

And don’t get me started on the previous owners, whose control over their four little girls and two Aussies must have been nonexistent.

66

I’ll see if I can post some pictures after work tonight because I am really curious as to what you guys think about this. Although, I think I have decided unless someone tells me it is a really bad idea, I am going to go ahead and paint it.

My wiring is old ass knob and tube that is so ancient the casing is crumbly if you try to move it around much. And my outlets are really old ungrounded types. However, I lied earlier. The wiring in my house is not original. It replaces the gas lighting that WAS original, though. That was surprising to find out. In fact, just the other day I was at the home store looking for a coupling that would attach the overhead light fixture to the end of the gas pipe that was supporting it (because they just attached the new electric lighting right to the old gas line that fed the old gas lighting). Needless to say I didn’t find one and had to jerry rig something else.

And now time for me to bitch about one thing the last owners did do that really pissed me off. Actually I think the family did this in trying to sell the house. They installed vinyl siding over the old wood cladding without insulating the house at the time. If you are going to re-side an uninsulated house, that is the time to put a bunch of holes in it to blow insulation in!

67

Not a house I bought, but one of my rentals.

I did an empty washing-machine run on my first weekend there, to verify it was working properly. It wasn’t; there soon was a puddle in front of it. I called the owner, agreed to take care of the repairs myself and transfer the cost (given our work schedules, it was easier for me than fo her). When the guy from the repair service left, I called her.

Me: “turns out the exit pipe just had never been ‘plugged’ into the wall’s pipe.”
Her: "what? But you are the third person to rent that flat, are you telling me the other two never did their laundry? :eek: "
Me: “yep.”
Her: “guess they always took it to Mom’s… huh.”

68

I have friends, a married couple, who are those short bus passengers. Perfectly lovely people otherwise–it’s like home decorating makes them lose their minds. They have been remodeling their largish house, but they’ve only had the money to do it one project at a time, so it’s been a long-term affair.

They’ve been working on the kitchen for about four years now…First they had an old tile floor, so they got a new granite countertop to match the old tile. Then they got new tile and it didn’t really match the counter, but it’s ok because they’re going to refinish the cabinets! Ooh, refinished 1970’s dark grain–lovely. It really sets off the multi-color granite and orange tile they selected.

Then they got a new oven and it only came in black, but that’s ok because it matches the dishwasher. But then the fridge died and they got a silver burnished one because getting a black one to match the other two appliances would “look stupid.” But then time came to replace the washer and dryer (visible from the kitchen) and they got two huge white monstrosities.

I know in their minds they’re adding thousands of dollars to their home, but really anyone moving in is going to have to sink at least $10K into undoing the redoing.

69

Oh, I forgot. . . the house is not insulated. Not really a big deal here. But they installed a fiberglass tub/shower comb upstairs, and removed the inside wall surface before doing so, and didn’t bother to add insulation. When we pulled it out, behind tub was nothing but studs and the back of the exterious siding, which was 140 year old redwood. We could see daylight. No wonder you could never get water to stay warm in that tub.

StinkyBurrido, It is your house so you do whatever you want with it. You have to live there, after all. But odds are good that the owner after you or after them will spend months stripping that woodwork and cursing the dude who painted over original trim that lasted untouched for over a century. You’ll be someone else’s shortbus passenger previous owner.

Also, a friend of mine who works in real estate says that on a vintage house, refinished wood molding is something to advertise about and will help you get buyers and/or more money. Painted molding is something you don’t mention and hope the prospective buyers don’t get upset about. Again, you have to live there, but it may very well actually diminish the value of your house at resale time.

*Edited to add: Have you had the siding checked? It’s not uncommon for people to do a quick & dirty siding job where they put no moisture barrier over the wood siding before putting on the vinyl. Esp. without insulation, the wood can warp & rot like crazy. Happened to my parents.

70

The place we are renting was built in the mid 1950’s.

The kitchen had a light box that basically was a transparent dropped ceiling. This made the kitchen ceiling 6 inches lower than the attached dining room, for a staggering 6’4" height. The transparent panels were mismatched with some patterned and some plain frosted. Getting annoyed at the failing fluorescent lights, we peeled everything off, revealing three 8-foot long fluorescent light fixtures all spliced into the original central lighting fixture. Where does one even buy 8’ fluorescent fixtures?

Sadly, removing the dropped ceiling has revealed the patchy woodwork job around the top of the walls, where they couldn’t be bothered to cut an extra piece of drywall to finish things correctly. There are literally scraps of plank hammered haphazardly in place.

The kitchen originally had an in-the-counter type of range, with the oven, presumedly, elsewhere. When this cooktop broke, they replaced it with a conventional one unit cooktop and oven unit. Doing that lead to several things:

[ul]
[li]the fridge had to be relocated to the new stove could have its spot. They took a skill saw to the pantry cabinets to make a new fridge cubby. I now have no cabinets that are tall enough to stick a cereal box in.[/li]
[li]they filled the hole in the counter left from the old unit with tile. The rest of the counter is “wood”[/li]
[li]the exhaust fan is orphaned, being 3 feet to the left of the new stove. That’s not so bad though, since the exhaust fan does not lead to the outside. It simply blows smoke out the front of itself, into your face.[/li][/ul]
The bathroom door has a little stop that swings down into place to hold the door open. Because that was cheaper than installing an exhaust fan. In the 8 months we’ve lived there, us walking around has squished the floor enough that the stopper no longer reaches the floor.

71

I’ve obviously spent to much time reading house ads. I can see it in my head.

“Recently remodeled kitchen. Tile flrs, granite counters, one-of-a-kind trash drawer.”

72

And so the cycle of strife continues!

:slight_smile:

73

I wonder who they were playing against…

74

Why, Mr. Hankey, of course!

75

You all are bringing back my flashbacks. <whimpers>

We bought our cute lil Cape Cod style house from a self-proclaimed handyman 20 years ago. Where to start?

The entire kitchen was wired on a 5 amp fuse. Cloth wiring throughout. For several years, I couldn’t run the dishwasher AND use the electric mixer OR toaster OR microwave at the same time. The fridge ran due to it being on a different fuse.

The garage door was hung by Mr Handy–crooked.

There were 7 colors in the kitchen alone: red fake brick floor (destroyed by their two very nasty dogs); avocado appliances, PINK countertops, dark brown “fake wood” cabinets, lavendar trim, and baby blue walls. The curtains were a peach-sprigged calico; the counters were brand new, Pepto-Bismol pink. I forgot the white Z-brick, over plaster walls.

There was green and gold flocked wallpaper in the front hall, olive green shag carpeting in the DR and LR and front hall. The LR walls were gold, with purple (Barney purple) trim, the DR had purple walls and gold trim, with some vaguely abstract/bad acid trip purple/olive/gold walllpaper. Let me not forget the burgundy velvet swathes puddling to the floor at the entrances to the LR.

I could describe the rest of the house, but I don’t want to make anyone ill.

They painted over ALL the trim in the house–maple or ash (not sure). The DR and LR are oak trim (but in such bad shape we painted over them after stripping them). 7 layers of paint off the kitchen trim alone.

They let the dogs pee in the basement, and apparently all over the house. I didn’t have allergies until we moved in here–getting rid of that nasty olive green shag did a lot to get rid of the lingering ammonia smell (and my allergies). Voila! Beautiful hardwood floors underneath both DR and LR and hallway.

Nothing was hung right-not the ceiling fixtures, not the wall fixtures, not the curtain rods. Nothing was installed correctly: not the plumbing (I learned a few new cuss words when the plumber came), not the cheap panelling in the (now) computer room etc.

Mr Handy swiped our Phillip’s screwdriver (a Craftsman-that one size that you use for almost everything). bastard.

The insult came when they told us they had left all the cans of paint and excess wallpaper, so we could make repairs, if needed. They were the first things out to the curb on moving day…

76

The thing that really gets me is that most of these stories represent efforts that someone was actually proud of at one time. And showed them off to all their friends.

77

It kind of makes you wonder what house-proud fashionable home improvements or decorating we’re showing off to our friends today will be somebody’s Muldoon in 30 years.

78

Our interior walls were painted almost entirely in lime (hospital wall) green by the previous owner who is legally blind. He told me that he can see but his vision is extremely blurred past a few inches. I don’t know what made him think he was up to the task of painting three rooms and a hallway but he got paint everywhere. It was on the ceiling, on the baseboards, on the window sills, and on the carpet.

He jokingly said that his wife wanted to kill him when she got home from work and saw what he’d done. I decided that it would have been a justifiable homicide after we got to work on fixing this mess. We still have to replace the carpet when money allows.

79

Another muldoon: the previous owners installed wooden shutters in the master bedroom, and for this purpose screwed in a sort of false wooden frame. The end result was to completely obscure the lovely original leaded glass windows and stately hardwood frame.

We unscrewed all that garbage, and were astonished at the difference.

Just for fun, here’s a picture of my wife working on the bedroom. There are at least three muldoons on display:

  1. The horrible woven grass wallpaper (being removed);

  2. The horrible wooden shutters;

  3. The horrible '70s light fixture totally out of character for the room and hanging in one corner.

There was another - the hardwood floor was covered with a badly laid and disintegrating carpet - but we already got rid of that.

80

Malthus that is a nice looking room. Did you have to install shoe trim around the baseboards?

I have another one. Whenever I find something totally bizarre in the house, I blame the previous owner, Brandon. Some others I thought of.

  1. They hung one of those light fixtures that you can hang pots from in the kitchen. The problem is that there are may lights in the kitchen and we don’t have an island. This thing was hung in such a place that you have to walk under it to get the sink and countertop. We used it to hang coffee mugs for 5 months before I got fed up and bought something new to replace it.

  2. A previous owner sealed up the attic access. This was a pain to deal with.

  3. The previous owner had a $5000.00 lien on the house from the gas company and had the gas shut off. The reason it was so high was that there was no insulation in the attic. I had some blown in and this dropped the bills by 50%. We later replaced the useless kitchen door which had cracked glass and I also immediately patched the gap in the transom where the cold air could get in.