Watermelons are evil. All that tasty lovely goodness and I can’t eat it because I’m allergic to them. Damn watermelon. 
Am I the only one who can’t eat fresh peaches because the fuzz on the outside combined with the color makes me feel like I am eating people? I like peaches and peach flavored things, but I cannot eat fresh peaches. It is soylent green, I swear!
[QUOTE=pbbth]
Am I the only one who can’t eat fresh peaches because the fuzz on the outside combined with the color makes me feel like I am eating people? I like peaches and peach flavored things, but I cannot eat fresh peaches. It is soylent green, I swear!
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Peaches and peach flavored things are disgusting. Apricots are much the same.
[QUOTE=Shagnasty]
I pit peaches!
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That’s great! Can you come over to my house in July and August and pit mine for me? I live close to here. I can get fresh picked ones every Thursday at the Farmer’s Market.
And watermelon isn’t supposed to fill you up. That’s why you can eat it after a huge meal and not get any fuller.
I need an olive pitter.
Watermelon, like Jello, is mouth food. It’s job is to make the mouth happy, not the stomach. A big ole bacon cheeseburger, now that’s stomach food! 
One of the things I look forward to with the beginning of summer is the combination of a nice long run in hot sweaty weather followed by consumption of a large quantity of watermelon.
I will often go for a 10-15 mile run that leaves me pretty much exhausted and dehydrated. In summer months, I will then typically consume a half of a small watermelon or a quarter of a huge one. It tastes great and replenishes a huge amount of water.
Oh, and to Stana Claus’ comment, in the condition I end up in, watermelon makes my whole entire body happy.
Am I the only one who if consumes a large quantity of watermelon is pretty much guaranteed to have the squats? A little bit is alright, but a whole lot of watermelon is asking for more stomach trouble than a case of Busch light.
I’ve found it’s best not to gnaw too close to the rind
(TTNOMNA)
[QUOTE=pbbth]
My stomach is growling right now, as though it contains a tiny, angry bear. I am never eating fruit as a meal on it’s own again. Stupid fruit!
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The reason you’re hungry is that watermelon is a high glycemic index food. Mostly sugar and water, very little fiber. If you want a filling fruit meal, try apples or pears instead. Personally, I find a very satisfying snack in apple slices smeared with peanut butter, even to the extent of replacing an entire small meal if I haven’t used a lot of energy that day. I know PB has fat, but apples+PB is better for you than the cookies that they’re replacing.
[QUOTE=Cosmic Relief]
The reason you’re hungry is that watermelon is a high glycemic index food.
[/QUOTE]
Or maybe she actually has a small bear inside her stomach. I know a guy that happened to once. Man, that wasn’t good for him or the tiny bear.
[QUOTE=Cluricaun]
Or maybe she actually has a small bear inside her stomach. I know a guy that happened to once. Man, that wasn’t good for him or the tiny bear.
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To be fair, the bear was probably more scared of him than he was of it.
[QUOTE=pbbth]
Am I the only one who can’t eat fresh peaches because the fuzz on the outside combined with the color makes me feel like I am eating people? I like peaches and peach flavored things, but I cannot eat fresh peaches. It is soylent green, I swear!
[/QUOTE]
That is the funniest thing I have seen all day! I have always hated the fuzz - I can only eat peeled sections of peach - and now I know why!
[QUOTE=pbbth]
My stomach is growling right now, as though it contains a tiny, angry bear. I am never eating fruit as a meal on it’s own again. Stupid fruit!
[/QUOTE]
Have you called your Congressperson? Last month they voted to declare a National Watermelon Month.
[QUOTE=pbbth]
Am I the only one who can’t eat fresh peaches because the fuzz on the outside combined with the color makes me feel like I am eating people? I like peaches and peach flavored things, but I cannot eat fresh peaches. It is soylent green, I swear!
[/QUOTE]
this is why I prefer nectarines to peaches; and canteloup to watermelon. Watermelon used to make me ill to my stomach just seeing it, and then I went many years not being around it and now I can tolerate its presence. One lady introduced me to yellow watermelon - which is kinda like a cantelope. those, I like!
And, watermelon is totally not a fill-you-up kind of food, which is why many people get sick from eating too much of it. I think it’s meant for hydration (?)
[QUOTE=3acresandatruck]
You don’t find it filling because you’re not eating enough of it.
[/QUOTE]
Wiser words have never been typed.
How many watermelons does one have to eat to be full? My guess is six, but I don’t think anyone will ever get that far because that much watermelon would probably render you unable to leave the bathroom for the next several days.
[QUOTE=StGermain]
Watermelons are icky. So are canteloupe.
StG
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So that leads us to ask: Why was the amorous melon unhappy?
His girlfriend just told him she canteloupe. Watermelon-cholly fruit he was after that.
Y’know how you can walk into any grocery store in the country and get a packet of red koolaid or yellow koolaid or blue koolaid?
When I walk into my local Somali grocery I can get watermelon koolaid.
It doesn’t mix as well as straight-up watermelon juice, but American junk food producers are not only missing the boat but also the entire goddamn fleet.
I pit the blueberries in yogurt because they’re too much like bugs. Blecch.