I say this in all seriousness–you have a great sense of humor. By which I mean, of course, that you make me laugh. Sometimes quite a lot. At the risk of sounding dramatic, laughs are often few and far between, and are all the more precious for it.
A third possibility, certainly. Sorry if I misinterpreted your remarks, but I’d also suggest that communication might not be occuring as clearly as wished. Contra and I seem to have read the text in a similar way. Text based communication does not have the benefit of body language, and at least from where I sat it seemed like you were calling bullshit.
To offer an olive branch, here are zombie dogs.
Been accused of that more than once.
When talking to someone at a party? Sure. While enaged in a debate? Not so much.
I think I parse it just deeply enough. But that’s what a background in linguistics, philosophy, English, etc… will do to ya.
Objective observation is, of course, impossible. We all approach issues from our current perspective, and cast the debate in terms which we are most ‘comfortable’ with. I see the world the way I do, you do the same, and our arguments come from those perspectives.
I’ve been toying with that view for a while now, actually. Maybe the same pulled through a mirror, or some such.
I like the contrasts — seriousness - humor, dramatic - laughs — the satisfying sort of rhetoric one would expect from someone called “Contrapuntal”. 
I’ll just skip all the rest of it, and take that. Thanks.