You guys would call it a birthday party, but to me and my brother it is a fund raiser. I would not go to a cheesy gathering of my relatives unless I knew that they were giving out money. My brother was the birthday boy and was tight on cash so my parents set up this event to raise money for him. If he could stay home and collect he would have, but people get suspicious about giving money at a birthday party where the birthday boy is not present.
I arrived at the party and talk to the good grandparents (the ones that actually helped raise me.) Two other grandmothers, two sets of aunts and uncles and a few cousins arrived later. I sat next to my brother and commented on all the awkward social situations. My dad tried get an early start on ordering the salads and after making the poor waiter explain every salad on the Turkish menu he told him to wait for my mom to order. Two people congratulated me instead of my brother. They were my 89 year old great-grandmother and my uncle. One person ate an olive, did not like it, and spit it out under the table when he thought no one was looking. Most of the people just gave my brother money and never talked to him again.
These events get so awkward I almost forget why we bother. My mom, brother and I counted up the profits and it came out to $600 for my brother and $60 for me. I got $10 from the cool grandma and $50 from the one who was never there but always sent money.
I second your eeep and add to it a disgusted uuugh. I imagine when the OP gets married, they’ll register at 5 different places and include reminder cards in their wedding invite.
This reminds me of the married members of my family and work circle who only invite me over to their place when they’re having a ‘insert overpriced catalog here’ party. Oh, I see, so my guest would be my checkbook, then? One more pain about being single.