After my hell-raising antics this morning
I went to the can and I fuckin’ SQUEEZED that Chatmin.
And I shampooed my hair ONCE, goddammit!
And I DIDN’T floss, because the ADA is fill of SHIT!
Like always, I ate red meat.
And I didn’t floss, AGAIN!
I reverted to a more primal self, and I coveted! Wives and property BOTH!
I am SO going to hell.
Every station in the Sydney train system has a yellow line painted the length of the platform a meter in from the edge. There are announcements every three minutes saying not to cross the yellow line at any time. But this morning I and a bunch of other daredevils breached that barrier and boarded the train! Take that, you fascist bastards!
Aah, the good old “Stand behind the yellow line”, eh? Well, you know what? Sometimes I sit down on one of the seats. Or I walk about aimlessly. Cityrail fears me!
Aside: Are any other Sydneysiders tickled by that announcement that says, “Please keep a firm hold of your pram, pusher, and bicycle”?
Zebra’s most recent thread starts with the words, “Smile for the Birdie…”
I didn’t smile.
Ha! Beat that, suckas!
Yes, I do in fact laugh like a fool whenever I hear that because I imagine someone with a pram, whatever a pusher is and a bicycle trying to get on the train with a screaming kid too.
As for my rule-breakage…
I haven’t been studying for three to four hours per day. I haven’t exercised for at least ten minutes either. I took gratuitous vanity shots of myself. I HAVE GREEN FINGERNAIL POLISH ON!
See, when I started this thread, it was light-hearted and fun and joking. But now you’ve taken it too far, man!!!
Well, I guess I could stick to not wearing shoes in convenience stores but where’s the thrill in that? What’s next? Tearing the tags off my mattress?
But I’ll try to be more light-hearted next time. 
I read this paragraph way too fast. I did a double take, then went back to read the fine print about why you really got thrown out of the club, Mr. Reubens.
Now this is a story I gotta hear!
What did you do, quarter soldiers in someone’s home while denying their 18-year old teenager the right to vote?
Tripler
Oh wait, you raised the Congress’ paycheck without jumping through the legal hoops, didn’t you?
I can’t discuss the details because this really is an actual case. But I’ve been accused of conducting a search without reasonable cause (a possible violation of the 4th), subsequently confining a person (the 5th), based on a policy that was not in writing (the 6th), thereby imposing a cruel and unusual punishment (the 8th), all while working for the state of New York (the 14th).
But at least I was wearing shoes at the time.