I am up very late this evening because in the morning I face a Soloman like decision and I feel all off my bearings, I’m usually pretty decisive generally.
As you may remember, I am a caregiver to my bedridden mother in law (stroke survivor, paralysed, fully bedridden, 80+ yrs old). We just passed our 5 yr anniversary and whew, the things I’ve learned. We learned it all on the fly, no medical training.
So in the course of those passing years I have dealt with many medical issues, and bodily fluids and grossness of many types, I won’t go into details as I’m sure you get the picture.
Amongst the many important things we learned is that if you’re going to go the distance you have to look after yourself too, very easily overlooked. We are fortunate that where we live we have access and entitlement to provided respite care, up to 90 days a year actually. Respite care is when the patient enters a long term care facility for a short stay, providing respite for caregivers. It’s an important element of caregiving as I’m sure you’re aware.
Mother in law is scheduled for respite care begining Monday, for three weeks, a break we severely need. Hereabouts we are both very weary, Mr works two jobs and I do this.
Three days ago she developed cellulitus and has been seen by a doctor (hers is away, the interm Dr) who has assured me the antibiotic will do the job.
But I have to confess there is a very high squidge factor on this for me. I can’t bring myself to describe the symptoms, makes me woosy. I am watching it closely, however.
But it seems to me I’ve been given conflicting advice. The Dr said, not to hesitate to send her to respite care, the meds would work, likely in two days. And she also said that while her skin has been without breakdown to date, she has never been at higher risk than right now.
Now these facillities don’t have the manpower for the constant up and down of the head and foot of the bed like we do here all day, so those two pieces of advice don’t quite add up to me. We’ve live in mortal fear of skin breakdown.
I was called by the nurse at the facillity today and she said not to worry, they, of course, have dealt with it before. She also was reassuring that if we had to cancel for a week it’d be okay, they know stuff happens.
One other piece of advice I’ve been given is not to over ride my instincts, that often Primary care givers sense subtle changes that have yet to actually manifest. I think this tidbit only served to confuse me further.
But seriously, this is way off the squidge meter for me and I’m leaning toward cancelling a week of respite care even though on all sides I am being reassured it’s really nothing to worry about.
And you know what? I’m not a doctor, I’m a daughter in law.
In five years I’ve dealt with many more serious health issues, I know, but this condition has me feeling entirely out of my element.
Any advice for the likes of me?