First thing First: I have no doctor
Had to make a beer run. Kroger has these download coupons for insane beer discounts. Catch is, you use it, you lose it. So, if it lets you use it 5 times in a single transaction, you do it. I got lots of beer storage space.
I go and load up my cart. About 7 cases, 4 different brands. I want some steak tacos, so I go down to the meat isle. Flank steak is $12 a pound. No thanks. I work my way down to the far end where the discount stuff is. There is a pile of 3lb ground beef chubs (those sealed tube things).
I pick one up and look at the markdown price and try to do the math in my head to see if its a good deal..
Guy comes out of nowhere and POKES the chub in my hand and says…
“You don’t want that… That stuff is too greasy! My Doctor says…”
The math stopped in my head. What the hell?
Guy keeps going... “My Doctor says.. Guys like you and me…”
I cock my head left and see who’s talking to me. The only thing we had in common was advanced skin cancer.
He keeps going… “My Doctor says … gotta keep hydrated… drink lots of water!”
I pointed to the front of my cart and said, “Beer is mostly water!”
Dudes jaw dropped, eyes went oval slowly, like every synapse in his head shorted out. I’ve only ever seen that reaction in real time once before. Just like, tranced out. He squeezed the handle of shopping cart till his knuckles went white.
He moves around me, and as he passes to my right, I say to him, “I don’t have a drinking problem, I’m really good at it”
