Wake up early. Cooked breakfast for Mr.Wrekker and Son. Their plans involved a tractor and the back 40. Walked and fed dogs.
Wow, nice day. Sunny and breezy. Think I’ll go to Wal-Mart. I’ve been working up to a trip for a week or so. Don’t laugh, I have issues.
Get dressed, double check no burners left on or lit candles. (I said I have issues, that’s one of them.)
Get in the Orange Menace (Sedonia Orange Metallic, so I’ve been told)
Think twice, debit card, gas card, cup of iced-tea, insulin, cell phone, little bit of cash. I’m good.
No untoward activity on the way. Nice peaceful drive.
You might say, WOW, Beck is having an uneventful trip to Wal-Mart. You might say that, but I wouldn’t, yet.
I get to the parking lot. Full as hell. No surprise. Drive around a bit. We have a Wal-Mart dog and I brought her some food. I don’t see her so I pour the food in her dish outside the garden center fence. I’m nice like that.
Ooh, ooh a parking spot opens up. I’m one spot over from handicap spots. Perfect. Park. Shop. Pay. Leave the store. I’m feeling pretty good. Saw the Wal-Mart dog. She’s eating. Good day. You might say that.
I’m putting my purchases in the back of the Escape. Hatch opened. I’m kinda anal about how stuff is loaded in my car.( yet another issue) I have a cooler for perishables. I getting it all lined up. And a large car pulls up in the spot between me and the handicap spots. He’s on my passenger side.
Now this is a long car. 70?? Monte Carlo 2 door. Light blue. Stupid looking wheels. Loud music.
Guy slings his door open. This door is nearly half the length of the car. Bam, right into my rear passenger side door. I jumped and hit my head on the hatch door. I recover and walk around to see a light blue gouge. 6 inches or so in length. Guy is walking off. I day, “Sir, sir you dented my door” He’s still walking. I’m moving around the front of my car to get to my cell phone. I simultaneously yell I’m calling the police. A woman out of no-where says " I’m dialing", WTH? Thanks. Guy turns around and nearly runs back and is being a bit pissy. I’m talking the whole time. He’s arguing that he didn’t notice his door hit my car, coulda been that buggy. Strange woman chimes in “I saw it”, he spins around on her. And she says “I’m recording”. OMG he was so mad. Smoke was coming out of his ears. I just knew he was gonna kill us both. Cops get there. The offending gentleman had no insurance and revoked drivers lisc. He got to sit the the back of the police car. The cop makes me a report for my insurance. Wal-Mart higher ups are out by now. I guess they were bored.
So I thank the stranger lady, she gave me her card in case I need her recording. I thank the cop. I even thank Wal-Mart manager types. God get me outta here, please. Before someone hugs me or something (yet, another issue).
Finally I go to shut my hatch. Oh, shit I left the cooler open. Instead of ice cream I now have milkshakes. OH goody. I hate Wal-Mart. I hate Wal-Mart manager types . I hate Monte Carlos. I kinda like nosey old women with iPhones, though.
Add them to the bill! ‘Damaged goods’, you know. 
That’s why they make straws
I kinda imagined that your favorite state trooper would be the one showing up for this, the one who’s stalking you because he’s smitten with you. And he would tell you that you can’t park where you’re parking! 
But good on you (and the other lady) for bringing yet another asshole to justice!
Ugh. Hope there’s a nice big check for Beckdawrek.
Boy, it’s going to be even harder to psych yourself up for a WalMart trip now. So sorry.
Also, curious minds want to know: was the guy arrested for driving with a revoked license, or just ticketed? Around here, that would at least get the car impounded, so even if he wasn’t hauled off for a short stay in the hoosegow, he’d be hitchhiking home.
They left with guy in the back of the car. He was all kinda mad. The Wal-Mart guy said they would tow his car if it wasn’t gone by tomorrow. I hope he didn’t hear my name and chase me down.
Oh, Trooper-Major-meany-pants is never around when I need him. Of, course.
The dogs I’ve known would be glad to gooble up that melted ice cream. Did you even offer it to your dogs?
I stuck the icecream in the freezer when I got home. I don’t think it’s gonna work out. It’ll be a weird texture. But I guess I could always make milkshakes in the blender with it. We’ll see. My obese beagle would love it. Alas she’s on a diet, again.
I’m glad that it was just a gouge to your car, plus the melted ice cream and more social anxiety than you wanted out of your Sunday. The jerk in the blue Monte Carlo had an even more bad, bad, BAD day, I suspect. 
Okay, so let’s all agree:
Poor Beckdawrek has many bad,bad,bad things happening.
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But she’s a good,good,good writer!
Sedona Orange
Oh, Fuck it.
^^^No,no,no. I mis-spelled it. I take full responsibility.
The scrape or bump in the parking lot with a major flake is best handled by turning the whole damned mess over to your insurance company.
That happened to Mr VOW. He called the insurance company, got the name of the repair shop, and we scraped together the deductible. (It was a time of lean for us)
The insurance company FOUND the flake! And I have no idea what methods of coercion the insurance company used, but we got our deductible back!
~VOW
I work in a store, and the aisle workers are told to come out for any disturbance. That’s probably why the store workers were there. Most people calm down when they realize they are attracting attention.
Of course, my store is right down from the town’s Fire Department. Anything goes down out there, and those people show up in thirty seconds.
Apropos of nothing, David Brin’s Earth (a 1991 science fiction novel set in 2041 and was, partially, an experiment by Brin to see how well he could predict the future) got this one exactly right.
Back in college I had one of those mid 70s vintage Monte Carlos. Yes it was freaking huge, and the door was so heavy that there was an audible “ka-LUNK” every time I opened the door. (Those poor hinges!) I usually tried to park it away from other cars to avoid the door dings. Sorry about your door Beck!
One Thanksgiving my aunt accidentally left the ice cream on the counter after serving everyone instead of putting it back into the freezer. Of course we sat there for an hour or so so it was all melted when she went back into the kitchen. Because it wasn’t even cut with milk, it was the Best. Damn. Milkshake. Ever!
What’s a Walmart dog?
I would guess one of the employees in the garden center brings one of their dogs to work.
But I’ve been known to be wrong in the past.