Uh-oh! Beckdawrek is bad, bad, bad at the DMV!(oh, I'll be blamed)

Got up at my usual late hour of 9ish. I had already stumbled down and fed the Siamese and returned to my bed chamber (I just used that term coz its cool). Woke up with a start. Uh-oh the lil’wrekkers car tags were due the last day of August. She drove back to her University yesterday. I text her and tell her not to drive, til I renew. That causes a series of ‘Oh, Moms’ and groans. I get up and get dressed and get out of the house. Low traffic. Good. I speed (I told you, I’m bad, bad, bad).
Okay, safely at the DVM. No parking. What’s going on up here. Oh crappola, first of the month. This is bad. Go in, get a number. Never had to do that before. I’m number 39. The number being called up is 17. Number 17 didn’t have the right papers so 18 is called. There are 4 clerks. At exactly 11:15, two get up and leave. Lunch, I presume. What?
I think I dozed off. I hear number 32 called out. Now its 12noon. The other 2 clerks come back. 2 more leave. Lunch, presumably. WTH?
I’m feeling pretty good, though.Things are moving at a quick clip. All of a sudden the door burst open, I smell before I see. Loud aroma of Gardenia. You can see a mist of it coming in the door. What follows is hard to describe. A very tall woman with 6 inch stilettos, tight leopard look leggings. And, possibly the brightest pink frilly blouse I’ve ever seen. And about a thousand jingly bracelets. She has hair everywhere, curly shiny and big. She stops just inside the door, to let her mist get in, I guess. The aroma is overpowering. People are audibly coughing…and gasping. Me? I’m blinded by the blouse. I don’t think I took a breath for a minute or so.
In a loud voice she asks where the numbers are. Someone is able to gasp out 'over there ’
She gets her number and sits one chair away from me. It a louder voice her exact words were “This is Fucked-up, I’m number 49, what number are you?” Is she directing that comment to me? Not sure, can’t see her eyes. She has huge sunglasses on. Exact words again, “Girl, wake up, I asked you a question.” At that moment I hear number 39 called out. I jumped up and left the mist that surrounded her. Oh, god real air. I tell the clerk why I’m there, give her the paper. Sign an affidavit that we didn’t drive the car since the tags ran out. I’m a liar to a government official. I’m gonna go to the federal pen for this, I just know they’re following me in a plain brown sedan.
I’m on my way to Texarkana and I speed. Gotta lose that sedan.
I feel like a bad, bad, bad criminal.
State government -0
Floozie with a Gardenia mist—no number is big enough!

Your state doesn’t do online renewals? You guys should get on that. I’ve renewed my tabs from the bedchamber. It’s p great.

Well, that was a nightmare. :eek:

I bet she’s a blast at parties! In Sacramento, the wait without an appointment can be hours long. I try to never do that.

Glad you survived.

I usually avoid that place, I just plain forgot. My fault. She’s legal now.

You’re on first name basis with a certain state trooper & you…speed???

Shhhh! Don’t tell Trooper Meanypants. I wasn’t on his road.
It’s not like I was trying to break a land-speed record. I’m talking 65mph in a 55 zone. And one place where it goes down to 40mph for no discernable reason.
I zoomed thru there.:wink:

AAA does registration in many states.

Online renewal in AR.


We had to cut short our SCal stay to boogie back to AZ before Mr VOW’s birthday, because, yup, his license expired then. He’s the driver of our family, so it was kind of mandatory that his license stays valid. No online renewal for DLs in AZ, I checked.

He was back home in no time, renewal was no biggie…except…

It’s only good for a year, because he has to bring in all that citizenship crap and get the NEW, IMPROVED travel-official DL.

(Pause for foul language)

Then he asked me when MY DL expires, so I can suffer, too!

I looked. Expires on my birthday, 2022.

I then realize that is my SEVENTIETH (did I spell that right?)

Well, shit.

I usually do online renewal. I flat forgot when I got the notice in the mail. Once the date of renewal passed I assumed you have to do it in person to speed up the process. She goes to college in Louisiana. I couldn’t have her driving around out of state with expired tags. It’s all good now. Her brother met her at the stateline(luckily he was travelling that direction today) and put the sticker on her tag.

I overheard an elderly mans DL renewal process. The clerk asked him how long did he want to renew for. He said, “The shortist one, hell I may not live long enough for the longest one to be cost effective!” He got a laugh out of the room.

My guess is they have a sheet you can print to present if you’re stopped. After all, if a cop runs your plates he’ll know you’re legal.


That would be too logical for DMV.:slight_smile:

(You’re most likely right, didn’t even occur to me)

The fender-bender that made me realize my vision issues meant I was done driving happened when I was on my way to get my vehicle registration renewed. Like you, I’d forgotten and allowed it to lapse. That’s one trip I wish I hadn’t taken. OTOH, maybe it saved me and others from a more serious accident. I’m glad your experience was uneventful, aside from Dora With The Aura.

The ubiquitous Cat post:
When I got home the Siamese were nowhere to be found. Not the beams or dryer bed or the cat tree or the dog-bed-no-dog-has-ever-been-in. Strange. I wasn’t too worried. It was close to snack time.They never miss snack time. I went upstairs to change and lay on my bed. I heard a thump. Wha? Downstairs my bag is on the floor. Out of the corner of my eye I see a flash of cat flying up to the top of the fridge. I look and 2 cats are peering at me. Daring me to blame their innocent selves. Ok. I get snacks out and put them on the plates (yes they have plates, not bowls) No cat comes down. What? This is abnormal. I go sit in the living room. I look over on the sofa. There is a dark blob. Oh, god. What is that? It’s my change purse. There is no explanation, from the Cats. I look in my bag to make sure they havn’t stole my credit cards. Clearly they are up to something. They eat their snacks and come sit with me on the chair. Innocent little darlings!

Damn…my plates expired on the 1st.

I gotta go tomorrow.

Forrunately I can check in online and then drive 3 miles when it’s getting close.

Hopefully I don’t get the $125 ticket before then…

In my house, if there’s a dark blob on the furniture, it’s probably cat puke.

Oh, no. They save the puke for the bed.

Alicia is my DMV lady. She takes care of me. :wink: