I have to step in here because I’ve read similar interpretations a few times: I don’t “share a bed while kissing her”. I kiss her goodnight on the cheek (sometimes) and on the forehead (most often.) If you want to get really personal, when I kiss her on the forehead, I feel like I’m blessing her.
The 10 or 15 minute “cuddles” before she goes to sleep have been about once every 6 weeks or so, and growing less and less. I don’t climb under the covers with her, I lay beside her on top of them. Sometimes I am on my side, facing her, where my one arm is above her pillow, typically, and my other arm is along MY side. Sometimes I shift onto my back, hands clasped over my stomach, and talk to her while staring up toward the ceiling. I’m close, but not really touching her at all.
I should have been clearer when explaining that, and I especially shouldn’t have used the word “cuddle”, because I can see how if you don’t know what I’m ACTUALLY doing, then this could be VERY EASILY misconstrued. Sorry if I confused anybody. I think I used the word “cuddle” because that is what my daughter has called it since she was seven years old.
If any people consider this sick or inappropriate, then so be it. I probably won’t be doing much more of this, either, not because some people think it’s “wrong”; but because I THINK she’s getting a bit too old for it.
Extra-ordinary circumstances? I might do the same if she was very, very sick or dying. I might very well do the same thing for my mother.
BTW, Napier, this wasn’t a shot in your direction - I really liked your post. The “kissing in bed” reference just touched something off and really irked me!
well, I’ve slept in the same bed as my dad, and I was 18. We were on vacation, along with my Aunt and Uncle, in Louisiana, and got stopped by a lightning storm.
The hotel had two queen beds. Aunt and Uncle in one, me and dad in the other. All jammied up and all of course and no snuggling.
I don’t personally think that the fact of her being in the same bed with you is so much an issue. But in this day and age, it can sure raise some problems and make people feel uncomfortable, even if it is completely innocent. Particularly since you’ve been raising her since she was 7 and a half.
But I do feel uncomfortable about her issues with what is appropriate affection and what is not. That had to come from somewhere. IANACounselor/Psy but that strikes me as pointing to possible inappropriate adult interaction at some point in her life. Another male relative?
IMHO, you and your wife should definitely check into that.
As a son of a family that shared hotel beds on vacations for budgetary reasons and a father of two who still enjoys the novelty of tucking them in and having some personal time with them, I can say that the thoughts that most often cross your mind when sharing a bed with a relative go along the lines of “get your elbow of my nose”, “I wonder how long does it take for gangrene to set in”, “I really have to go” and “I hope Survivor hasn’t started yet”. It is very easy for people who haven’t been there to think otherwise but the reality is very uncomfortable.
Oakminster for you to say that evey stepdad is a predator in waiting is just so wrong on every level! But then agian you know what they say about lawyers there all no good and talk out the wrong hole…
A) Oakminster didn’t really say that
B) OP should have said he’d stay til his step-daughter fell asleep, 10 yrs old is a little old for them to share the bed all night.
C) this is a 6 yr old thread
So anyways, have you slept with your step daughter lately noblebaron?
