I start with a new therapist this morning. Yecch!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I am on my way in a couple of minutes to start with a new therapist to treat my depression. The mere thought of it has me nauseated. How I hate doing this shit, but I’m going to go anyway. I’m pretty much numb with fear. Oh, well. How bad can an hour be?

MM

2

{{{{MM}}}}

Paxil changed my life. Guess what – life doesn’t suck. (Well, not all the time, anyway.)

3

What is it, exactly, that you hate? Is it therapy in general, or just the idea of going through a “stranger” phase with a new therapist? What has been your past experience with new therapists, and about how long did it take for things to improve?

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I’ll let y’all know in a few minutes. I’m out the door. Thanks

5

But… rats.

Good luck!

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It is, to a great extent, giving your past history for the umpteenth time to a stranger. Reciting this litany of past trouble and failure is pretty depressing in tiself, although necessary.

That, and the fact that she’s not a psychiatrist. I’m currently uninsured and managed to get a deal through my brother-in-law’s employment. But they don’t cover shrink visits.

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So how did it go?

8

Well. It went so-so.

I had about an hour with her. Gave her my history and current situation, which is fairly depressed since November/December. In the past long episodes of depression have been generally self-terminating, but that may have been due to the fact I was on Prozac. I stopped taking Prozac about two years ago due to a lack of funds. I have started back up on the stuff, maybe, four weeks ago so serum levels should be up by now. My brother’s an MD and gave me the start-up script but I really need someone to do med-evals. I have a guy lined up for that that my sister (God bless her) is willing to spring for, at least once a month.

Anyway, the therapist essentially framed my problem in terms of her own expertise. She looked at the problem as a matter of self-esteem and lack of self-actualizing activity. I had recommended to me a couple of books with which to do “homework”. *Feeling Good *by David Burns and Mind Over Mood the author of which I don’t have handy. The problem is that when you’re all the way down helping yourself isn’t exactly on the big list of the possible. Eating and sleeping are big enough tasks to take up the whole day. I actually had a copy of Feeling Good in my collection and think that it has much to recommend it. But one must feel good enough to do the sort of exercises and what-not that the author suggests.

I go back next Wednesday. I am willing to give just about anybody a chance and realize that first sessions are often sucky.

Plus I got a bombshell last night…

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So, are you going to share? Or just leave us hanging?

10

So.

I work for my brother. He started a business building large scale model trains about ten years ago and I went to work for him six years ago when I moved down from Idaho. He came over for Easter dinner on Sunday and dropped the ax. My depression has hampered my ability of late to be consistent on work attendance. I think he’s understanding (actually I KNOW he’s understanding) but he still had to let me go. Maybe it is a blessing in disguise. But for the way I feel it has to be an award-winning disguise, dontcha know?

I hate being unemployed. Who doesn’t?