Hmmm, well, sometimes women get vaginosis, which makes their naughty parts stink, but women’s chemical makeup is all weird and screwed up anyway.
Anyhoo, maybe you got the male equivalent, peninosis is it called? The stench thereof may have have seeped up your zipper to the inside of your shirt, to mingle with the sapient stink you already had there, and their torrid affair produced mutant offspring, which then upon reaching pubescence produced pungent opprobium that your tucked-in shirt kept sealed like a biodome. Then when you sat down, the front of your shirt collapsed against your frontside, and the subsequent billowing effect pushed the ominous odors out your collar and up into your unsuspecting face. Then it lodged itself into your nose pores and stayed there, so you thought you were smelling it continuously.
Crunchy, what you’re smelling is the stench of a sigline that is way past its expiration date. When’s the last time you took a movie-watching bullet for us? I ended up watching Waterworld myself! (It was so bad, it made me laugh.)
On less of a hijack, did you eat a lot of garlic or other strong spice yesterday? It could be coming out through your pores.
Crunchy, my oderiferous friend, do you take a lot of vitamins? They can really stink you up. You might try wiping out your pits with isopropyl alchohol in the morning before you put on the speed stick.
If the shirts are white, soak those suckers in hot water with some bleach for an hour. Then wash them normally. If they are colored shirts, wash them twice.
I watched Battlefield Earth just a few weeks ago. It’s in Cafe Society somwhere. Next up is I Spit On Your Grave as soon as I can get my hands on a copy. (I know where one is, but it always seems to be rented.)
As far as the other suggestions:
It was a cotton shirt, I don’t take vitamins, haven’t been eating anything I don’t normally eat, they don’t let me play with matches anymore, and I now have sprained neck from trying to smell my own naughty bits to see if I have “peninosis”.
FTR, today I’m wearing my Kurt Warner Rams jersey and I smell mahhhvelous.
That’s good to hear. Tell you what - I’ll come to St Louis to lure Jim Edmonds to the Cubs coughcough I mean help him heal that ankle up. While I’m there, I’ll give you a nice Febreze shower.
Well… I wasn’t bending that far to try to sniff it before.
You’re not getting Edmonds, so let it go. I forbid it! You can have Drew though. And what happened to his ankle? I haven’t been able to catch the last couple games.
If you have soap residue in your clothes, that will grab stink and hold onto it like no tomorrow. If you put the shirt in the wash with no soap and soapiness appears, you’ve got residue. Wash without soap until the bubbles don’t appear.
