There I was, idly waiting for a phone call. I spied my caliper sitting on my desk. Hmm, wonderful tool this caliper. Let’s measure things! A human arm hair? .001- .0015 inches. My fingers? Anywhere from .4 inches (skinniest part of my pinky) to .977 inches (first thumb knuckle). What else can I measure. Ah, says I! How about the OD of my wedding ring? Looks like .95 inches. Then, a little bell went off in my head. Hey, I remember that thread about wedding rings and how I tried and failed to put mine up my nose! Well, how close was I?
I proceeded to use the I.D. measuring side of my caliper and immediately discovered that my caliper is cold, smells funny, and feels weird on the inside of my nose! Upon further investigation, I found that there is no way my ring would ever fit up my nose. But, more disturbing than that, I found that my nostrils are freakishly asymmetrical. My left nostril is about .62 inches and my right is about .45 inches. Does this mean I smell funny?
You’re weird: I just measured my wedding ring at 0.938", and it fits in either nostril quite nicely. I’m surprised you can smell anything at all through such tiny blowholes.
Why would you even think about any of that? :dubious: Don’t tell me, I’d rather not know. BTW, all of the human body is asymmetrical, some more than others, but even if your ears of hands or feet or whatever looks symmetrical, their not, and yes, this probably means that you do smell funny :), not that your smell is off, but that you yourself may very well have a strange odor
Bosstrain, try clicking the link – that’ll explain the why. The whole “do I smell funny” was self deprecating humor implying that I do indeed emit a strange odor, but covering it with the fact that I have different sized nostrils. It was a joke. Jokes happen. You’re new here so I understand your misunderstanding.
Machine Elf, I envy your cavernous sniff holes!
As it turns out, I’m more symmetrical than I had thought. Unbeknownst to me, my nostrils are oblong and at an angle. And, as I’ve been stealthily looking at my coworkers’ noses, it seems everyone’s nostrils are pretty much shaped the same. The result is that if I measure my left nostril with my right hand, I get the full oblong measurement. If I measure my right nostril with my right hand, I get more of the short side of my nostril. Knowing this, I was able to measure along the same “nostril axis” on both sides and came much closer.
They’re still about .64” and still much too small to accommodate my wedding ring. Lieu, my ring finger is about .7”( I just measured), so even the ID of my ring is too big for my nose.
Ouch, 3rd degree burns. Yeah, I got it was a joke, friend, thus the reason I stated what I did. Oh, and thanks for understanding “cause I’m new”, maybe you can hold my hand and show me where the bathroom is too…
not trying to be belligerent though, I’d rather make allies than enemies. We cool?
But what about the width of your nostrils? I have one nostril that looks to be about half the width of the other. I have a lot of allergy/sinus problems, so I asked the doctor about it once. He started laughing.
My family has a hereditary asymmetric nostril on the …hang on… left. I’d need area measurements to really characterize the asymmetry, and it’s late. Maybe on the weekend.
We cool?
